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Tricky situation with my roommate and his GF

hepcat

By hepcat,
in Huddle Lounge

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hepcat Grand Master

hepcat

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He's breaking up with her BEFORE the tour, and she plans to come see him AFTER a few shows into the tour?

You might could just let this one play out.

GFs are notorious for giving themselves away and spoiling surprises from my experience, but that's not always the case.

Just curious, why did he have her move in within the last year if he's serious about breaking up with her?

 

Guess they're having issues...not sure.  They almost broke up a few weeks ago but I'm hazy on the details.  I don't really keep up with it.

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Redaes Newbie

Redaes

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So earlier this year my roommates girlfriend moved in with us. I've lived with this guy for almost 4 years and it's been a great situation all-in-all. Until recently when their relationship started to hit a rough patch and I found myself in the middle of it. His band is going on tour for a month later this year. He's confessed to me that he's considering breaking up with her before he leaves on tour. This not only puts me in a strange situation while he's gone to have her in limbo living at the house, but his girlfriend told me she's planning to surprise him by showing up at a show on their tour and traveling with him for a few days.

I just don't know how to handle this. Should I tell her what he told me to possibly save her the embarrassment of booking a trip only to have to cancel it at the last minute? Should I tell him that she's planning on surprising him so he can take that into account? Or just wait and see how it plays out...

I would've never let that happen.

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Redaes Newbie

Redaes

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Sorry, not trying to sound like a dick. It's just that I've been there and learned that lesson.

I shared a house with my younger brother, who I've always been close to, in college. After a year his longtime gf moved in & it went to hell. Yeah, it's nice paying less bills but that wears off. When you're the 3rd wheel you get pushed aside & the couple eventually takes over the house (even if they don't mean to, it just happens). And that's best case scenario when they're getting along. If they're fighting you get drug in the middle of it & somehow end up a bad guy while getting all of this drama that has nothing to do with you thrown into your life. Just doesn't work out. I went my entire childhood without fighting my brother. Then as adults we nearly went to blows over a girl. We're still close now but it hurt our relationship for awhile.

After that I got a place with my childhood best friend & we made an agreement beforehand. We both had GFs of 2+ years. We both agreed neither would move in. Not would they be over all the time. Only had overnight stays on the weekends (We both worked M-F). Worked out great. We shared an apartment for 3 years & had a blast. GFs got along & never had any issues. Best man at each other's wedding afterwards. Best buds to this day.

When adults in a relationship want to live together, it should just be them. No roomies. Can't be in a committed relationship & kick it college style with your buddies. But don't screw over a roommate & leave them hanging to run off with a SO. Just my opinion.

Dont let this potentially ruin a friendship. Don't let this drag out. Just get it over with as soon as possibly, like tomorrow soon. Seriously. Don't be a pussy & keep quiet, but also don't be a bossy dick. Just be honest & straight. "Hey bro, your girl told me she plans on surprising you on the road. Just a heads up since you told me you might be ending it. I feel like I'm getting thrown in the middle of yalls personal stuff & I'd rather stay out of it. I'd appreciate it if you could sort things out with her before you leave."

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The Huddler Grand Master

The Huddler

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id explain to both the predicament you are in and apologize for telling the other person. Just be like, look, you two put me in this situation and its beyond me. Im sorry to have told the other person but its the only solution where this gets taken out of my hands. Its a lose lose situation for me and this needs to be worked out between you two.

Thats What i would say to each.

In The End it really is something that needs to be brougbt to their attention. And its not your place to try and intervene and make it better. Its their buisness And they need to work this out or it coukd get ugky and youre in the middle.

Remove Yourself

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