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SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF FUG EVERYONE WE'RE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!

PhillyB

By PhillyB,
in Carolina Panthers

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

Posted
Posted

i mean around halloween we were all sitting around collectively removing our ballsacks on our tear-drenched couches with dull butter knives and wondering who we were gonna grab with the first pick and wondering why in the fug roman harper missed that tackle and allowed the steelers to crack our egg and wondering what evil karmatic fate dumped fluke-ass steve smith plays upon us in the land of crabs and naval herpes and as we all wished preemptive ebola upon david gettleDOUCHE SHORTS for signing roman harper and cutting steve smith within like ten minutes of each other and torturing us in ranch dressing football hades.

 

but wait! jesus christ on a saltine cracker SCP turned his helmet and ron rivera got his ass hairs singed on the hot seat (again [again {again}]) and suddenly i was sitting in a poo-ass airport eating poo-ass imitation burger at $40 a pound with garbage wifi wondering why i was fool enough to spend time and money streaming these ragamuffin useless-ass heartless panty-waisted pieces of blackened drippy cun- OH WAIT WHAT"S THAT OH MY GOD WE"RE BEATIN GHT SAINTS BY NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND WOW

 

and now we have our elite pass rush back to 2013 form because kony ealy made nipple shorts look like edison and horton look like the backup he is and now CJ is making 2014 CJ look like 2013 CJ and cam met jesus christ in the middle of mint and 10th or whever lester mcnutbutts t-boned him and saw new life and superbowl trophies and he's tossing balls and fast forward to now and i'm watching my tv drunk on makers mark (which is the new lucky shot of the playoffs, take note) watching my daughter say "booball" at the tv (my wife has bad judgement leaving me here) and the six or seven falcons fans left with their centimeter dicks in their womanly hands watching their team get decleated by deandre hopkins and the seventh stringers oh and by the way

 

:lk:  :cam1:  :rr:  :cam:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:

 

NOW WE"RE IN THE PLAYOFFS. that's right, the carolina fuging goddamn panthers, poo-balls squad from the worst NFCS division in history, are going to host a revenge match against the arizona cardinals, whose current starting quarterback could be outplayed by the slice of victory pizza i'm about to eat. one week assholes and we've got a playoff game to watch. i love you all. jesus christ bless you all.

 

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