Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Dearest __________ Mom - A Letter

Jeremy Igo

By Jeremy Igo,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

Jeremy Igo Newbie

Jeremy Igo

Posted
Posted

Dearest    insert location__ Mom,

We would like to apologize for the emotions you experienced while watching Cam Newton play football. We understand that it is a confusing time for you, and what you are feeling is quite new.

So before you pick up that pen, or jump on Facebook. Before your cheeks are no longer flush from the thoughts of forbidden relations with Cam. Before your very soul no longer begs to be taken by Cam, without apology or care for whose eyes may witness. Before you feverishly bite your bottom lip as your fingers probe and tickle the keyboard, desperately trying to rid yourself of Cam's Greek statue-like silhouette from your mind. Before you aggressively shame Cam, like a schoolgirl punching the boy she has a crush on. Before you finish that letter with a feeling of release and reach for your last Virginia Slim in sweet satisfaction.

Before all of that, we would just like to say... It's OK. It is 2016. Gone are the days that forced you to hide such feelings. Sex in the City ran on HBO for 6 full seasons. The important thing here is that you are not alone. Most Panthers fans, both male and female, have had the same types of feelings for Cam Newton for multiple years now. 

So put away that pen. Shut down the laptop. Allow yourself the absolute indulgence of watching Cam Newton, the MVP of the NFL... and your fantasies. 

 

- Huddle Management

 

giphy.gif

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Montsta Rising Star

Montsta

Posted
Posted

I'm appalled at this. If you support Cam Newton's gyrating and sign destroying then you must also support bullies, terrorism, and the attack on the very values that make America the country that it is. 

I bet when you leave the grocery store and Girl Scouts ask you to buy cookies you take a box of the Do-si-dos and slam them on the ground and dab. 

You are all awful people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Mike2.0
      Cam on ‘The Bank’

      By Mike2.0 · Posted

      Incorrect, I have watched us consistently over quite a number of years. When I say Cam relied on athleticism, I simply mean his dual threat style and athleticism overshadowed the deficiencies in the passing game (his own or those created by the system).  Now I wouldn’t disagree that our OCs over that time were not amazing and arguably held him back, but correct me if I’m wrong, Cam had a habit of locking onto his receivers and overthrowing them. Gettleman even drafted two big receivers - Kelvin Benjamin and Devin Funchess - to give Cam receivers with a big catch radius.  Again, correct me if I’m wrong, but Cam had some mechanical issues. For example, the reliance on arm strength over touch and his footwork often led to him throwing off the back foot. There were many debates on these boards about his mechanics, with far more knowledgeable posters than I braking down what he needed to improve on. End of the day, I was as big a Cam fan as the next person, but he did have his shortcomings as a passer. Had he played under someone like Sean McVay or a similar offensive guru, with a high quality QB coach, then I’m sure they would have ironed out the kinks and he would have been far more dangerous and successful than he was. And that’s a scary thought of what he could have been under the likes of a McVay! 
    • mav1234
      shough vs tmac off rookie of the year

      By mav1234 · Posted

      It's true that we are not scoring at a much higher clip than the Saints. They're averaging ~18.4 with Shough and in that same span we're averaging ~19, so pretty close, despite Bryce having better TD numbers over that period. Both our teams are a far, far cry from the NFL average of 23.3...
    • Basbear
      NFC South is now ACTIVATED

      By Basbear · Posted

      I like when this big kat is going crazy panther fan and not the pat jersey betting against persona. 
×
×
  • Create New...