Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Attention Huddle Sex Therapists

Dex

By Dex,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

Dex Community Regular

Dex

Posted
Posted

I have a problem... Since I live pretty far away at least the Huddle gives me some anonymity. At this point I'll disregard the embarrassment because this isn't an issue I can talk about to my friends and family and when I google questions about this the answers vary wildly. So here's the deal...

Not sure what's wrong with me I was hoping some of you could shed some light or let me know if you have similar issues. So I've been single for a little over a year. I've had multiple sexual partners in that span. Some were one night stands and others I actually liked. But they all have one thing in common. As soon as I have sex with them I lose interest immediately. I don't even want to have sex with them again no matter how attracted I believe I am to them. It sounds like I enjoy the chase more than anything but I hate myself for it. It was all but confirmed last week. I was seeing this girl I met on Tinder for about 2 months. Things were going great. I met her parents. She met my friends. We did a weekend trip to Salem, MA for Halloween. The works. I was thinking she would be my girlfriend. However, a couple weeks in she wanted me to go back to her place. I made some bullshit up because I liked her and was worried if we fuged I would ghost her after or lose interest. So we put it off until the Salem trip. The sex was great and the trip was so much fun but after that weekend I have 0 interest in her. I don't even find myself attracted to her anymore...


I'm worried this stems from the fact I was in a relationship for 7 years... Could be misogyny. (although I don't consider myself a misogynist at all) Could be commitment issues. All I know is it's ruining the thought of me ever finding someone and I'm at the point I don't even want to have sex anymore. Help?

 

 

I hope this doesn't seem like ludwig level issues lol...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lumps Newbie

Lumps

Posted
Posted

My educational field here but without clinical experience. 

How old are you? This (only liking the chase) is a young mentality. I was in a seven year relationship and wanted to bang everything that moved after it.

But that took a while. Almost two years, though I had sex here and there before then. 

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is what exactly are you interested in? This is not a question with an immediate answer and the harder you push for one the further from the truth you’ll get. Perhaps you should forwarn future partners your mindset is not ready for a relationship and keep things light.

You were in a relationship for 7 years so what was different about her?

Some people are just this way for life but more likely until a much later age and phase of life. A very high percentage of people are getting married (and divorced to prove the same point) at later ages. This proves the point. And remember no one says you have to be married or with someone. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The right person could come along and distract you no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Then you’ll know they’re worth investing in. It’s only been a year and I’m assuming you’re under 35/40, and would bet it’s a mix between the timespan, age, exploring who you are and what you want in all areas of life and meeting the right person.

As you age the chase will dull. A relationship will define great sex and great sex will not define, signify (or obligate) a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ja Rhule Grand Master

Ja Rhule

Posted
Posted

I had that issue until i grew up.  I loved the chance and once I got in, I’d lose the interest.  Sounds like you missed those days and now you are catching up on banging dif chicks.  Sooner or later u will get it out of ur system and will settle again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

Posted
Posted

I actually sort of have the same issue. I don't think you ever told me exactly how things went down with your ex, but mine seems somewhat similar. Together seven years, married six, she walked out on me almost exactly a year ago.

I always sort of expected to go through a legendary pussy run if I got divorced (it was a celibate marriage) but I spent the first six months of the divorce keeping the doors open for her to come back. After she started dating some fuger I absolutely despise I gave up on it and started looking around on Tinder. A handful of dates with ok looking girls (I have no game) but the exact same thing, even if I click with someone off the bat by the second or third date I feel myself run full speed into a mental wall. My interest drops off a cliff physically and emotionally and I delete the app and don't bother for a month or two. Rinse and repeat.

Probably unexplored PTSD from my shitty fuging marriage. You probably have similar issues. If you can afford it consider a few sessions with a therapist - I'm looking into it myself. Can't hurt to let a professional help you tinker with your head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • TheSpecialJuan
      Explicating the Panthers' Defensiveness

      By TheSpecialJuan · Posted

      I can't wait to go through this analysis 
    • SmokinwithWilly
      Panthers Sign QB Will Grier

      By SmokinwithWilly · Posted

      What's more likely? An entire competant NFL front office (as many here suggest Morgan runs) has watched Bryce struggle week in and week out to perform at the bare minimum of NFL QBs for 3 years and has decided that's the future of this organization, OR our owner who has proven repeatedly he can't keep his nose out of team decision making has declared Bryce is our QB until he decides otherwise, especially given he's the one that drafted him in the first place? 
    • MHS831
      Explicating the Panthers' Defensiveness

      By MHS831 · Posted

      It is time to take a look at the defense.  Without further ado do.... Edge (OLB):  I think we overpaid for Jaelan Phillips, but he is constant pressure with 73 pressures in 2025, ranking 9th in the NFL.  In all, he was the 20th (of 111) rated pass rushing edge in 2025 according to PFF, putting him in the top 20% in the nfl.  With a pair of solid ILBs beside him and if we can get Wharton going, I think the sum of the parts will make him better than he was in Philly.  Furthermore, with second-year pro Princely Umanmielen behind him, I expect him to grow with the tutoring and competition. On the other side, the duo of Nick Scourton and Patrick Jones II is strong, in my view.  Scourton generated 34 total pressures as a pass rusher. That total included 8 sacks, 23 hurries, 3 hits. Against the run, he recorded 28 solo tackles. For a rookie, second round, edge, that is great.  He also forced 1 fumble on the season. Jones was decent in 2025 in just 131 snaps, but he is solid veteran depth.   We seem to lack the elite pass rusher, but this rotational unit will be a big upgrade over last season.  Expect Scourton and Princely to show improvement. While it is unlikely that we add more to edge this draft, you can never have too many pass rushers (well, you can--two sophomores and two veterans is a good mix). Would the Panthers take an edge if one was sitting there? Absolutely. Defensive End:  Derrick Brown is a stud.  I did not notice how dominant he became as a pass rusher.  His PFF pass-rush grade of 72.0 ranked 23rd among 134 qualified interior defensive linemans. His run-defense grade of 66.3 ranked 22nd at the position. He generated 35 total pressures as a pass rusher. That total included 6 sacks, 23 hurries, 6 hits. On the other side:  What the hell?  Tershawn Wharton earned a 40.8 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 127th among 134 qualified interior defensive linemans. His PFF pass-rush grade of 57.0 ranked 95th among 134 qualified interior defensive linemen. His run-defense grade of 34.8 ranked 125th at the position. However, Wharton needs to be situational and we really need a few DEs who can plug and pressure.  LaBryan Ray is an interior defensive lineman for the Carolina Panthers who earned a 45.7 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season.  You cannot tell me that we are not going to add a DE.  In my view, this is a HUGE need that we have not adequately addressed.  There were only 3 DEs in the NFL who played more snaps that Derrick Brown.  We have to give him more blows during the game.  So After Brown, we have 2 other players who need to improve a lot to reach mediocre. Nose Tackle:  Of course, a NT might move out some to help stuff the run at DE opposite Brown, and stats do not always reflect on a NT's actual value.  Bobby Brown III earned a 54.1 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 80th among 134 qualified interior defensive linemen.  His PFF pass-rush grade of 51.1 ranked 126th among 134 qualified interior defensive linemans. His run-defense grade of 57.8 ranked 51st at the position.   Behind him, Cam'Ron Jackson is an  earned a 45.5 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season.   The defensive line is weak, based on 2025 performance rankings in PFF.  After DBrown, they pretty much suck.  These are the guys our ILBs will be counting on. Inside Linebacker:  Devin Lloyd earned a 89.1 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 3rd among 88 qualified linebackers. His PFF coverage grade of 81.1 ranked 3rd among 88 qualified linebackers. His run-defense grade of 83.2 ranked 11th at the position. His pass-rush grade of 82.2 ranked 5th among qualified linebackers.  He's good.  At the moment, beside him is Trevin Wallace  who earned a 55.9 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 57th among 88 qualified linebackers. His PFF coverage grade of 64.5 ranked 25th among 88 qualified linebackers. His run-defense grade of 42.3 ranked 85th at the position. His pass-rush grade of 64.2 ranked 45th among qualified linebackers.  Wallace was best as a coverage LB, and based on my memory, I am not sure he was in the top third, but if PFF says so...however, he was nearly last vs. the run.  We need better to play beside Lloyd.  Bam Morris-Scott earned a 37.6 overall PFF defensive grade. To put that in perspective, I was rated by PFF at 32.3 on my couch.   Cherilus Claudin is the third best ILB on the roster right now. He earned a 59.2 overall PFF defensive grade in just over 200 snaps.  Having lost Rozeboom, the Panthers are very thin behind Lloyd.  Look for a starting-caliber ILB in the draft.  Wallace is not the guy, but he is decent depth. Nickel CB:  Chau Smith-Wade  earned a 57.0 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 79th among 114 qualified cornerbacks. His PFF coverage grade of 57.2 ranked 79th among 114 qualified cornerbacks. His run-defense grade of 55.4 ranked 77th at the position.  For a nickel, he played a lot--garnering over 600 snaps.  Corey Thornton was a pleasant surprise, until he was injured.  However, in just 127 snaps, he was very good, earning a 68.5 overall PFF defensive grade.  I think he can play outside in a pinch, but nickel might be his gig.  I am not sold that Nickel is in good hands, but Thornton is promising.  Smith-Wade is average, and with the experience he has accumulated, we are probably not prioritizing Nickel, but there are some good nickels in the draft. Cornerback:  Michael Jackson should have been in the pro bowl.  He earned a 79.1 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 4th among 114 qualified cornerbacks. His PFF coverage grade of 80.9 ranked 3rd among 114 qualified cornerbacks. His run-defense grade of 67.2 ranked 36th at the position. He recorded 4 interceptions on the season. Jackson broke up 9 passes in coverage. He allowed a 72.9 passer rating when targeted by opposing quarterbacks --SOLID!!  Our second-best CB, Jaycee Horn, was in the pro bowl.  He earned a 57.8 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 76th among 114 qualified corner.backs. His PFF coverage grade of 61.6 ranked 61st among 114 qualified cornerbacks. His run-defense grade of 50.5 ranked 87th at the position.  He recorded 5 interceptions on the season.  Our CBs had NINE interceptions in 2025.  It is doubtful they duplicate that figure, but Jackson was our best CB.   We are thin at CB, but the two we put out there are solid.  Nickel, at this time, is "meh," but both are developing and should improve.  A great draft for Nickel.  The Panthers will add a CB somehow. Safety:  For now, Trevon Moehrig is as advertised--above average vs. the run, below average in coverage, making him average. He earned a 64.3 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 50th among 98 qualified safeties. His PFF coverage grade of 55.3 ranked 64th among 98 qualified safeties. His run-defense grade of 73.5 ranked 37th at the position.  Lathan Ransom got some valuable experience in 2025, getting in on 330 plays or so.  He earned a 62.9 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 56th among 98 qualified safeties.  (Average, not bad for a day 3 rookie) His PFF coverage grade of 55.8 ranked 63rd among 98 qualified safeties. His run-defense grade of 85.1 ranked 4th at the position.  A pure strong safety, if you ask me.  Nick Scott  earned a 67.8 overall PFF defensive grade in the 2025 season, 36th among 98 qualified safeties. His PFF coverage grade of 67.3 ranked 31st among 98 qualified safeties. His run-defense grade of 69.3 ranked 56th at the position.  Expect a draft pick at FS.  Demani Richardson is a safety for the Carolina Panthers who earned a 71.5 overall PFF defensive grade n 29 plays.  Nothing to see here.  Isaiah Simmons is probably more special teams than defensive player.   Overall:  We are thin on defense.  No real depth at CB, S, and DE/NT.  However, we have 5 starters who are pro bowl level players (D. Brown, Lloyd, Jackson, Horn, and Phillips--and I might throw Scourton in on that pile for the sixth potential pro bowler).  We are weak at NT, and if Wharton does not step up, DE.  Funny, I see Edge as our strength (and we really don't have a sack artist) and I love our starting CBs.  Moehrig is making too much to be average.   Expect:  In the draft, I think we have to draft a DT.  Having done this, I am not sure that we go after a S when we have such glaring needs at other positions.  We could upgrade at nickel and give the CB room more depth.  OLB?  Wallace is decent depth, and he could start in a pinch.   DE is our biggest need.  The answer could be on the roster?            
×
×
  • Create New...