Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Attention Huddle Sex Therapists

Dex

By Dex,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

Dex Community Regular

Dex

Posted
Posted

I have a problem... Since I live pretty far away at least the Huddle gives me some anonymity. At this point I'll disregard the embarrassment because this isn't an issue I can talk about to my friends and family and when I google questions about this the answers vary wildly. So here's the deal...

Not sure what's wrong with me I was hoping some of you could shed some light or let me know if you have similar issues. So I've been single for a little over a year. I've had multiple sexual partners in that span. Some were one night stands and others I actually liked. But they all have one thing in common. As soon as I have sex with them I lose interest immediately. I don't even want to have sex with them again no matter how attracted I believe I am to them. It sounds like I enjoy the chase more than anything but I hate myself for it. It was all but confirmed last week. I was seeing this girl I met on Tinder for about 2 months. Things were going great. I met her parents. She met my friends. We did a weekend trip to Salem, MA for Halloween. The works. I was thinking she would be my girlfriend. However, a couple weeks in she wanted me to go back to her place. I made some bullshit up because I liked her and was worried if we fuged I would ghost her after or lose interest. So we put it off until the Salem trip. The sex was great and the trip was so much fun but after that weekend I have 0 interest in her. I don't even find myself attracted to her anymore...


I'm worried this stems from the fact I was in a relationship for 7 years... Could be misogyny. (although I don't consider myself a misogynist at all) Could be commitment issues. All I know is it's ruining the thought of me ever finding someone and I'm at the point I don't even want to have sex anymore. Help?

 

 

I hope this doesn't seem like ludwig level issues lol...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lumps Newbie

Lumps

Posted
Posted

My educational field here but without clinical experience. 

How old are you? This (only liking the chase) is a young mentality. I was in a seven year relationship and wanted to bang everything that moved after it.

But that took a while. Almost two years, though I had sex here and there before then. 

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is what exactly are you interested in? This is not a question with an immediate answer and the harder you push for one the further from the truth you’ll get. Perhaps you should forwarn future partners your mindset is not ready for a relationship and keep things light.

You were in a relationship for 7 years so what was different about her?

Some people are just this way for life but more likely until a much later age and phase of life. A very high percentage of people are getting married (and divorced to prove the same point) at later ages. This proves the point. And remember no one says you have to be married or with someone. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The right person could come along and distract you no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Then you’ll know they’re worth investing in. It’s only been a year and I’m assuming you’re under 35/40, and would bet it’s a mix between the timespan, age, exploring who you are and what you want in all areas of life and meeting the right person.

As you age the chase will dull. A relationship will define great sex and great sex will not define, signify (or obligate) a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ja Rhule Grand Master

Ja Rhule

Posted
Posted

I had that issue until i grew up.  I loved the chance and once I got in, I’d lose the interest.  Sounds like you missed those days and now you are catching up on banging dif chicks.  Sooner or later u will get it out of ur system and will settle again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

Posted
Posted

I actually sort of have the same issue. I don't think you ever told me exactly how things went down with your ex, but mine seems somewhat similar. Together seven years, married six, she walked out on me almost exactly a year ago.

I always sort of expected to go through a legendary pussy run if I got divorced (it was a celibate marriage) but I spent the first six months of the divorce keeping the doors open for her to come back. After she started dating some fuger I absolutely despise I gave up on it and started looking around on Tinder. A handful of dates with ok looking girls (I have no game) but the exact same thing, even if I click with someone off the bat by the second or third date I feel myself run full speed into a mental wall. My interest drops off a cliff physically and emotionally and I delete the app and don't bother for a month or two. Rinse and repeat.

Probably unexplored PTSD from my shitty fuging marriage. You probably have similar issues. If you can afford it consider a few sessions with a therapist - I'm looking into it myself. Can't hurt to let a professional help you tinker with your head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • SmokinwithWilly
      Dan Morgan on the Rich Eisen show

      By SmokinwithWilly · Posted

      So he became GM and decided not to address the weakness in the QB room following one of the worst rookie QB performances in NFL history?  There were options last season other than signing Dalton to a 2 year deal. Brissett and Jones by a wide margin, both of whom outplayed Bryce, Wilson, Winston, hell even Rivers off the couch was more exciting at the QB position. The time to address the failure in the QB room was last year but instead people on the Huddle cheered when we brought Dalton back then cheered when we were able to get anything for him after they finally realized he was washed up like a few of had been saying all along and got poo'd for even mentioning.  This year, the options were more limited obviously, especially since we lost Icky. It changed the dynamic of our draft. I think we were stuck this year keeping Bryce, but i still think giving him a 5th year option for what has amounted to replacement worthy performance was the wrong move. Why guarantee 25m if you're planning to replace him? You think he's going to want to be a bridge QB? Hell no. He's going to want out and we'll end up cutting him if he has another lackluster season because no one is trading for him with that price tag.  Were there better options as far as production available. A couple. Were there guys available with more physical tools than Bryce, Pickett or Grier, you damn well better believe there were. I've been saying all along, you always keep looking for your 1b. Bryce has yet to prove he can be a starter. Keep looking for someone who may. Put competition in camp. Let the best QB lead the team. Stop settling for less than mediocre. 
    • Jackson113.2
      Unc Basketball thread

      By Jackson113.2 · Posted

    • strato
      Dan Morgan on the Rich Eisen show

      By strato · Posted

      Reasonable. I mean I didn’t see a clear path to relief this season myself. As I have typed already, I think the QB FA class is more interesting next season and that draft is supposed to be stacked as well. There just weren’t many options this year.  When you have Tepper to contend with you have to tread lightly around this unless you are 100% certain and willIng to stake your job on it.   There were a couple of outings that helped Bryce a lot in terms of  thinking maybe he can do this, and if you are a supporter you are giving them a lot of weight. You are likely to think just get him some more help and he can do that every week. Which I think Tepper falls into that category.  And the playoffs, division champs, regardless of the way I see that, the supporters will also give that a lot of weight.    And the big one, the atmosphere In BOA for that WC game, Tepper had to be soiling himself over that. If you pulled Bryce out right now you had better be right and your new guy had better make the playoffs and look good doing it or you will be gone and your chance to build your old team back into respectability will be gone too.  So here we have Pickett on a one year deal, and Grier and King. I understand it.  
×
×
  • Create New...