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Winter is Coming (Or How Reverse Climate Change is Dooming Space City)

Seltzer

By Seltzer,
in Carolina Panthers

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Seltzer Veteran

Seltzer

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Ah, the feel of Fall... pumpkin spiced-lattes, Oktoberfest, cooler weather... it's the perfect time of year...

Unfortunately, Fall just doesn't last.. and winter weather can arrive when you least expect it.

Houston knows this well.  Back in February, a once-a-century snow storm wrecked their city, leaving millions without power and wondering where in the world this came from...

image.jpeg.5f43f2736595978456d8e0d9c54390b0.jpeg Parts of Houston area see snowy Sunday | khou.com

Well, history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.  

Tonight, a localized storm of equal magnitude is going to strike NRG stadium.  The power may not go out, but all hope generated by the Texans unexpected 1-1 start will be vanquished.

To start with, Davis Mills is going to need to take a separate insurance policy out for this neck...  Lovie Smith must have Mike Glennon flashback PTSD every time he looks at that monstrosity...

Image

 

It may as well be a strike zone for the 2 most electric pass rushers in the NFL, Brian Burns and Haason Reddick.

This is not just a game about victory... this is about imposing our will on an inferior opponent and planting the Panthers flag on the national stage.

We have all dealt with the long and torturous slog of these last 3 years in the wilderness, waiting for our Moses to come down from the mountainside...

Who knew it would be in the form of a 65-year old grizzled football man who looks like a Sopranos extra that the players affectionately call "Yoda"

Phil Snow has gotten his well-deserved flowers this week.  This franchise hasn't seen a defensive innovation like this since Dom Capers 25 years ago.

But now it's time to bring on the full force of this Panthers rebirth.

I want to see Joe Brady & Sam Darnold bring it tonight along with this incredible defense.  I want a kicker that can make a freaking kick and special teams that can cover.

I want to see a Panthers team that cannot be denied on the national stage any longer. 

I want to see the ice-cold killer instinct that will send these Texans back to the wintry shadowlands of NFL exile.

I want complete victory and unconditional surrender.

Here's to being 3-0 for the first time since 2015!!

Panthers 37,

Texans 9

Edited by Seltzer
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4Corners Grand Master

4Corners

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“Don’t mess with Texas”

This dumb slogan has to be one of the most laughable statements of all time. Texas, as a state, has proven time and time again that they are some of the most fragile collection of people on earth and the idea that they could function as an independent state/nation as free from all Govt control and regulations is asinine. they had a power grid meltdown on the verge of an apocalypse because they were so ill prepared for a couple days of colder than normal weather in Feb. 
 

Look at the debacles and complete failures that state has been through in past year. Texas? Barf

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Seltzer

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17 minutes ago, 4Corners said:

Texas has to be pound for pound one of the absolute worst, most ass backwards states in the country. It’s probably right below Florida as the worst. 

They would lead us back to the Dark Ages if they could.  Even as a proud Southern, I want nothing more than to separate myself 180 degrees from this backwards nonsense.

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