April First Mock Draft.

[Stumpy]

15. Miami

With the 15th pick, the Miami Dolphins select...

Jim Harbaugh

Wait, what? San Fransisco already got him?!? WTF you gotta be kidding me!!!!!

Aww fug it! We'll just take this guy...

[Stumpy]

16. Jacksonville

With the 16th pick in the NFL Draft, the Jaguars take...

"Friday" by Rabecca Black

With this pick, the Jaguars will finally have a way to remind their fans when Sunday comes.

[CarolinaVeins]

17. New England

With the 17th pick in the NFL Draft, the New England Patriots select...

James Bond

The Pats havent won a Superbowl since they were exposed with the Spygate scandal. Why not draft the best spy there is?

[mav1234]

I was thinking they'd go for a new camera crew, but Bond works, too!

[Stumpy]

18. San Diego

With the 18th pick, the Chargers choose...

BRyan Leaf

The Chargers already have a QB, but they really think this guy is going to be the next big thing.

[Stumpy]

19. New York Giants

Well, we're getting word that there has been a trade here. It seems that Bill Belicheck's father has advised him against coaching for Cleveland, and he has demanded a trade. New York is giving Cleveland the 19th pick, their entire 2012 draft as well as swapping cities.

So with the 19th pick, the New York Browns choose...

Drew Carey

Randy Lerner was quoted as saying, "Carey was able to make Cleveland relevant, maybe he can do the same for New York City."

[Verge]

20. Denver Broncos

with the 20th pick in the 2011 draft, the Broncos trade with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and select.....

Vegeta

He is on the same talent level as Goku but dropped due to character concerns such as killing 100s of humans, nameks, and all around innocent aliens, serving Frieza, destroying planets, and what easily dropped him the most, a fake smile.

inb4racistagainstsaiyans.

[Stumpy]

21. Kansas City

With the 21st pick, the Chiefs choose...

Apple Cider Vinegar & Crushed Red Pepper

With these, Kansas City may one day be able to realize their dreams of making BBQ. (Although, I'm sure they'll still find a way to fug it up.)

[Stumpy]

22. Indianapolis

With the 22nd pick in the 2011 NFL Draft, the Indianapolis Colts select...

Dr. Rudy Wells

With Dr. Wells expertise in bionics, the Colts never have to worry about Peyton Manning's age condemning them back into ineptitude. When his arm breaks down, they can rebuild him; better...stronger...faster.

[Stumpy]

23. Philadelphia

With the 23rd pick, the Eagles choose...

Santa Claus

When asked for comment, Jeffrey Lurie had this to say, "Ehh, we've been gettin' ell for years for ittin da guy wit snowbawls, might as well trow da guy bone ere. But, if dis guy don bring us a ring, I gotta D battery wit is name on it!"

[Stumpy]

24. New Orleans

With the 24th pick, the Saints take...

Dallas, TX

The Saints will not be moving the team though, Tom Benson tried that after Katrina and it didn't go over very well. No, they've decided to move the city of Dallas to Louisiana. This pick comes as a surprise, as Dallas doesn't seem to have much value right now. Even Jerry Jones didn't want to play there anymore. It seems Benson wanted to stick it to Sean Payton for trying to move away.

[Stumpy]

25. Seattle

With the 25th pick in the NFL Draft, the Seahawks choose...

Bill Gates

It seems that the Seahawks have finally realized that it was Gates, not Allen, who was the brains behind Microsoft. Gates has said that his first act will be to buy out the University of Oregon, Oregon State University, University of Washington and Washington State football programs to ensure that there will be no competition to their football product. Gates was quoted as saying, "Lets face it, this team is so bad that our fans were nominated for the cover of Madden. We need as little competition as possible."

[Stumpy]

26. Baltimore

With the 26th pick, the Ravens select...

Robocop

Ray Lewis is reportedly elated by this pick. He said, "You know your city has a crime problem when I'm too scared of getting stabbed to go out at night."

[Stumpy]

27. Atlanta

Michael Vick

Now that Vick has become the QB they had always hoped he would when they drafted him in 2001, the Atlanta Falcons are calling a re-do. Interesting note; Atlanta tried this same thing with Brett Favre in 1996, but, unfortunately for the Falcons, Mike Holmgren had called No Backsies.