Curious about women saying no..

[The Saltman]

I'd rather play games with a woman then get with a skank.

[Epistaxis]

Boo said it.

Women have more mood, setting, situation and emotion involved in the act.

Men, not so much.

So once you understand that, you understand that when you learn how to manipulate the mood, the setting and the situation, you can also alter her emotional state. ie change it from uninterested to aroused.

You also learn with time that women don't appreciate overt manipulation, so you learn the art of being subtle, respectful, and confident (not cocky).

Combine these concepts and you can be pretty successful.

Or you could just use liquor.

[Zcustom]

I'd rather play games with a woman then get with a skank.

I'm sure your goat would have preferred you get with a skank more often

[88 Bronco]

I just don't enjoy engaging in superfluous games. If you want more foreplay say so. If you want to be left alone then say no. Like I said I have reached a point in my life where I won't beg for sex or keep trying. If she says no, then it is good night.

[Epistaxis]

No doubt.

Marriage changes the game....meaning the game is over.

She knows I want it whenever I can get it, and she wants it not all that often, so the only question is do I get pity sex or the rare hormonally influenced desire sex.

Works out ok though, since I know the deal and don't have to play any games anymore.

[bleys]

No means no. But women are like men, it's only natural to want to do it, so they get caught up.

The polite thing to do, though, is respect them the first time they say no instead of continuing to mess with them until no is yes.

we clearly aren't on the same page. I get what you're saying and never step over bounds.

as LifeasaGarden said, if she says no, it's usually late so I proceed to get some rest.. what I'm trying to express is perfectly outlined when she then starts making out with me to get me going...

Then why do you date said women?

I don't.. matter of fact, I hate crazy. but that doesn't mean I'm not into having fun, and there have been a few times over the years said fun has been had after I put in a lot of patience.. but don't read into more than that, I don't enjoy a steady diet of angry woman/crazy woman.. there's nothing long term that exists among that type for me.

I just wonder why it has to be all or nothing. If we're talking a first or second date, for example, then she may not be ready to hop on it immediately, but may still enjoy some sexual play. Maybe it's not letting you "mess around until she feels you've earned the right," but more of "letting" you mess around because that is a pleasurable activity ... and that lasts until you've earned her trust to go further.

Again ... why does it have to be all or nothing?

(I do think women need to express themselves a bit more clearly in these situations.)

I'm also curious why it has to be all or nothing either.. it's not a me issue, it's a her issue. ;)

if she doesn't feel comfortable, I'm not going to make her feel uncomfortable, so I interrupt the situation and ask if she would like something to eat, drink, or watch something..

what I've been trying to express through this entire thread is that in this particular picture I'm trying to paint is 8 times out of 10, she doesn't want anything but sex. lol

I'm not talking about setting the mood and being subtle, involving foreplay, etc.. and I'm not talking about a girl who seriously doesn't want to have sex, and I'm not talking about a girl who needs "manipulated" into having sex because it's a pleasure and she'll eventually succumb to it..

so the next question would be, why mess with "those girls"..?

well, it's not something you find out until you're right there in that situation... which zcustom accurately says...

Just another game women play, most don't even know they do it.

When I was a bachelor I didn't play that poo, either you were in or you weren't. I ended up with some pretty skanky girls from time to time, but to me skanky was better than playing fuging games all night.

Unless she REALLY meant no, it's so hard to tell, fuging women

[GritsRgreat]

Some say yes, some say NO! Some call their parents..

[bleys]

No means no. But women are like men, it's only natural to want to do it, so they get caught up.

The polite thing to do, though, is respect them the first time they say no instead of continuing to mess with them until no is yes.

I get what you're saying and never step over bounds. as LifeasaGarden said, if she says no, it's usually late so I proceed to get some rest.. what I'm trying to express is perfectly outlined when she then starts making out with me and is then ready to go a step further...

Then why do you date said women?

it's something you find out in the moment.. and I've only come across an angry woman once or twice, hardly consider that dating.. as for what I'm talking about, Zcustom sums it up best below..

I just wonder why it has to be all or nothing. If we're talking a first or second date, for example, then she may not be ready to hop on it immediately, but may still enjoy some sexual play. Maybe it's not letting you "mess around until she feels you've earned the right," but more of "letting" you mess around because that is a pleasurable activity ... and that lasts until you've earned her trust to go further.

Again ... why does it have to be all or nothing?

(I do think women need to express themselves a bit more clearly in these situations.)

I have a bit of a routine in dealing with this now.. at the moment she said she isn't ready to do this tonight, I then stop and ask if she wants something to drink, eat, or watch something on TV/movie.. what I've been trying to express through this entire thread is that in this particular picture I'm trying to paint is 8 times out of 10, she doesn't want anything but sex. lol

I'm not talking about setting the mood and being subtle, involving foreplay, etc.. and I'm not talking about a girl who seriously doesn't want to have sex, and I'm not talking about a girl who needs "manipulated" into having sex because it's a pleasure and she'll eventually succumb to it..

so the next question would be, why mess with "those girls"..?

well, it's not something you find out until you're right there in that situation... which zcustom accurately says...

Just another game women play, most don't even know they do it.

When I was a bachelor I didn't play that poo, either you were in or you weren't. I ended up with some pretty skanky girls from time to time, but to me skanky was better than playing fuging games all night.

Unless she REALLY meant no, it's so hard to tell, fuging women

so panthers_lover, I agree that women should communicate this a little more effectively. I hear all too often in many different things other than sex, "well if I have to tell you then it isn't as fun" or replace fun with a better word you prefer. but what makes it hard to tell is girls will say one response in both situations but expect 2 different results.. so now I'm a mind reader...

No means no. Whats so hard about that concept?

Be a f**king man and control yourself and respect your woman. If she says no more than you like, then consider the fact that you may not be compatible - part ways, and find someone else.

Forcing, begging, manipulating, or cajoling is just f**king pathetic.

we aren't on the same page... far from it actually. which is why I agree with what you are saying.

[Mr. Scot]

Boo said it.

Women have more mood, setting, situation and emotion involved in the act.

Men, not so much.

So once you understand that, you understand that when you learn how to manipulate the mood, the setting and the situation, you can also alter her emotional state. ie change it from uninterested to aroused.

You also learn with time that women don't appreciate overt manipulation, so you learn the art of being subtle, respectful, and confident (not cocky).

Combine these concepts and you can be pretty successful.

Billy Crystal said it a little more succinctly in'City Slickers'.

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

[bleys]

Just another game women play, most don't even know they do it.

When I was a bachelor I didn't play that poo, either you were in or you weren't. I ended up with some pretty skanky girls from time to time, but to me skanky was better than playing fuging games all night.

Unless she REALLY meant no, it's so hard to tell, fuging women

this was actually the kind of discussion I thought would get started.. something along the lines of why this happens and thoughts behind it.

because as of right now, I'm a mind reader and thought some insight would be beneficial.

and I know damn well I'm not the only one who has seen this..

[Panthers_Lover]

I just don't enjoy engaging in superfluous games. If you want more foreplay say so. If you want to be left alone then say no. Like I said I have reached a point in my life where I won't beg for sex or keep trying. If she says no, then it is good night.

So, sex is really the only endgame. Make that clear, and find a woman for whom that is not a problem. Then, you're good to go.

[Panthers_Lover]

Billy Crystal said it a little more succinctly in'City Slickers'.

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

For some of us women, the reason to have sex is that we like to have sex. I do feel for guys who are with women who don't want it anymore .... The truth is, these women are leaving their relationships open to infidelity, and then they are going to be the ones screaming about their horrible husbands.

Yes, the men can control themselves and not cheat, but these relationships need to be worked on ... there needs to be love and intimacy and communication to make them work, before it's too late.

[Panthers_Lover]

this was actually the kind of discussion I thought would get started.. something along the lines of why this happens and thoughts behind it.

because as of right now, I'm a mind reader and thought some insight would be beneficial.

and I know damn well I'm not the only one who has seen this..

There's no need to be a mind reader with your partner. Communication is key for everything, including sex.

Don't accuse or whine or get angry ... just talk, and listen.

[bleys]

There's no need to be a mind reader with your partner. Communication is key for everything, including sex.

Don't accuse or whine or get angry ... just talk, and listen.

I brush my shoulders off on the regular.. if she can't talk or communicate then she shouldn't expect a phone call.

I guess I just think its not a game. If I ask a woman if she wants a bowl of grits and she says no she isn't trying to play some game, she just doesn't want the grits right then.

here's where I think people are missing the point...

she says she doesn't want a bowl of grits, so you turn to put them up, but then she moves in to take the grits out of your hand and starts playing with them herself.

happens quite often.. although, I've never experienced this with a mature woman. women in their 20's are more concerned about how they will look while mature women know what they want. (of course this doesn't apply to all women in their 20's. it is rather common though.)