Madden 12: Cam Newton player traits

[teeray]

EA was going to put a swag meter for Cam but it was too big a file. Slowed down the game play.

[TheRealDeal]

You guys will whine about anything huh?

[Reapuh]

Here is a list of player traits.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150282813159073.378727.150042789072

[rayzor]

being oblivious to pressure is not a bad thing. that means it doesn't phase you, which i believe is/will be the case.

the more aware of pressure you are, the more it can distract you and the more likely you are to make mistakes.

wait...i'm talking about something on madden? ugh.

[bleys]

not sure either is correct. oblivious to pressure is bad. too focused on pressure is bad.

having eyes in the back of your head is perfect.

[TheGreatestOfAllTimeCam]

We say the same thing every year pre-release. And after it's released every year it gets worse and worse. We'll see but the past few years its been so bad I didn't even play it beyond the first few days. I don't have much faith in EA to put out a game that's anywhere close to say, MLB the Show. The dedication just isn't there. They know they'll get your dollars anyway and they're complacent. I'll bet anything it's not a good game.

[TruCatzFan]

We say the same thing every year pre-release. And after it's released every year it gets worse and worse. We'll see but the past few years its been so bad I didn't even play it beyond the first few days. I don't have much faith in EA to put out a game that's anywhere close to say, MLB the Show. The dedication just isn't there. They know they'll get your dollars anyway and they're complacent. I'll bet anything it's not a good game.

It will be the greatest game of all time! Cam Newton will be in it... Duh!

Plus they've made a shyit ton of improvements this year. Maybe you should do some research before you start mumbling stuff from your arse!

[Stroupe-a-loop]

It will be the greatest game of all time! Cam Newton will be in it... Duh!

Plus they've made a shyit ton of improvements this year. Maybe you should do some research before you start mumbling stuff from your arse!

. . . did the people who make the game tell you they made a shyit ton of improvements?

[TheGreatestOfAllTimeCam]

It will be the greatest game of all time! Cam Newton will be in it... Duh!

Plus they've made a shyit ton of improvements this year. Maybe you should do some research before you start mumbling stuff from your arse!

Oh yea, I bet! And last year and the year before they made a ton of improvements too! How'd that go over?

Love how Madden always slams the previous version of the game in order to sell THIS year's version! How hilarious is that? The game gets worse every year, you know it's true.

Looked like the same game to me with a few "new" features added in and by new I am talking about them re-adding stuff that was in it on the PS2 version of the game that they mistakenly took out without any reason. Gotta love EA!

[Proudiddy]

I wonder what Clausen's traits look like... Especially that "Throw Ball Away" one.

Throw ball away: *** yes!!! Please, I can't wait, must do it now, no time, too slow, pocket collapsing, wait, I haven't snapped the ball yet, oh well, *** it, yes.

[CRA]

I wonder what's Clausen's traits look like... Especially that "Throw Ball Away" one.

Throw ball away: *** yes!!! Please, I can't wait, must do it now, no time, to slow, pocket collapsing, wait, I haven't snapped the ball yet, oh well, *** it, yes.

Clausen will be this years Ethan Albright

[TruCatzFan]

. . . did the people who make the game tell you they made a shyit ton of improvements?

Dude, there's clips up all over the net from the recent E3 conference... Google it. I usually get excited every year about Madden. No it's not perfect but it's all we got. I will never claim that it's the most perfect game ever. It's far from it. But it usually comes out August 13th and not the 30th of August and usually there isn't a lockout. I love getting excited about the player ratings to be released so that I can just get pissed off about them shitting on us perennially.

[TruCatzFan]

For those of you not familiar with Ethan Albright, here you go...

For those of you who are, I think you'll agree that this will NEVER get old!!

Ethan Albright Writes a Letter to John Madden

For any of the madden nfl fans, here is a letter written by a Redskin longsnapper bashing madden over his low rating.

Quote:

UPDATE: Welcome CollegeHumor.com readers.

Ethan Albright is a 12 year pro in the National Football League (NFL). Albright is known as one of the NFL’s best and most reliable long snappers.

That’s right. He’s not even a real, every-down lineman. He’s made a great career out of being able to long snap the football back to the punter on punting downs.

At 6′5″ and 265 lbs, he’s somewhat small for an offensive lineman. But apparently he’s just the right size for a long snapper.

Before joining the NFL, Albright was a four-year letterman and two-year starter at the University of North Carolina, where he was a member of the Academic All-Atlantic Coast Conference team as both a senior and a junior.

Which makes the following letter to John Madden regarding his player rating on the Madden NFL Football 2007 video game all the more hysterical (in the video game, Albright is the lowest rated player in the entire video game).

This is one of the funniest (and a bit vulgar) things I’ve read in a long time:

To: John Madden

CC: Electronic Arts Sports

From: Ethan Albright

Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fuging bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fuging ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fuging 12. I rate you a fuging 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly poo and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. fug, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of poo teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. fug, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

John, you are such a fuging dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fuging zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fuging face. fug that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). fug me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fuging lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fugwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

fug you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fug with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

[bleys]

he may not have done anything in the NFL but long snap, but his points are pretty f**king funny. lol