What Would You Do? (Obnoxious/Weird Neighbor Situation)

[Proudiddy]

In this situation, I know what I want to do.  I just want to get some of your opinions to see how you would approach it and maybe that would sway me in a different direction...

 

So, I have this neighbor who is REALLY weird.  Almost stalker-ish with what I deem to be some very psychotic behaviors.  This neighbor has gone out of their way to repeatedly invite themselves into any and every interest I have personally.  It's gotten to the point that my wife and I don't even want to go out into our front yard.  It's as if he lacks any and all pragmatics, or the ability to recognize boundaries and social norms, or he just completely ignores them, which is where my suspicion of a possible mental illness comes in...

 

He has repeatedly sought me out and invited himself into activities (AWKWARD) he knows I'm interested in, and I usually gave him the "Okay, definitely, I'll let you know!" response.  And I never get back up with him.  You know, let him down easy without blatantly offending him.  Going to the gym was one of many examples...  I never invited him to go after he invited himself, and yet, I continued to go and he saw this day after day.  I actually went with one of my other neighbors who loved basketball as much as myself.  So, the offending neighbor, instead of taking a hint and backing off, starts coming outside EVERYDAY at the time we leave for the gym and stares me down.  He started getting frustrated about it and starts grilling my wife on where I'm going and what I'm doing while our kids are playing outside.

 

He has openly told other neighbors that he watches them all the time, including us, and we've caught him several times looking out of his window for minutes at a time...  Not just quick glances, like normal people do.  If we step out our front door for any longer than a few minutes, he comes out of his and walks around - it never fails.  It's beyond coincidence.  We've been outside doing yardwork before and he'll just walk up in our front yard and start a conversation, AGAIN, uninvited.  He even came up and acted angry with my wife for listening to her iPod while another neighbor (whom we get along with) was trying to talk to her.  I got to where I just ignore him for the most part...  A quick wave and I go on about my business as to avoid conversation with him.

 

My neighbor that was going to the gym with me even went up to him and made small talk with him to avoid the tension of him seeing us leave for the gym everyday without him after he invited himself, and to my neighbor's surprise, the offending neighbor didn't bring up a word about the gym to him.  So whatever it is, it has to do with me...

 

There have been numerous other instances where he completely shrugs off social norms and seems to go out of his way to make us feel uncomfortable.  We had a privacy fence put up in our back yard and have our kids go out to play back there, for one, because our youngest is a toddler and is able to roam freely without running out into the street, and two, to avoid him coming out and dumping his kids off on us or making annoying small talk with us.

 

To further illustrate his creeper mentality, my wife goes over there and talks to his wife one day and he repeatedly, and obnoxiously, loudly proclaims to his wife that, "yeah!  they're getting ready to go into hibernation!"  "they're locking themselves in their house again!"  Crap like that.  Like he intentionally makes it awkward and appears to be offended by our rejections to his self-invitations...

 

We don't have this issue with any other neighbor, and although I'm not the most social guy in the world, I'm always amicable wherever possible.  I don't go out of my way to alienate anyone.  My wife is EXTREMELY outgoing and extroverted and his behavior has resulted in her not even wanting to go outside anymore.

 

To top it off, he now found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request...  *facepalm*

 

Dude does not catch a hint.

 

So, my plan is to block him, say I deactivated my account and otherwise continue to do the bare minimum as far as interacting goes (wave hello, goodbye, keep conversations to a minimum).

 

This same cycle of behavior has been going on for over a year now...  He sees I'm into something, he invites himself.  I reject him.  He does it again.  I reject his self-invitation again.  He then complains to other neighbors or aloud to his wife that we're "enjoying our backyard too much" or "going into hibernation." 

 

I've thought about being blatantly honest and telling him, "look, we like our personal space.  we appreciate you as a neighbor (even though we don't), but we just want to enjoy our space."  But, I'm telling you, there is something off about this dude.

 

So what would you do?

[Hawk]

will need pics of wife before answering

 

[Proudiddy]

Lol, his or mine?

[Hawk]

yes

[Proudiddy]

I cannot compute.

 

 

[panther4life]

That's some sketchy poo dude. I hate people that are off their rocker like that cuz you just don't know how they will react to certain things. I think ultimately you will just have to be blatantly honest with him but do it over a beer or something.

 

 

[Hawk]

ya...no pics but I'll break the rules and give you my worthless opinion anyway...sure would have been nice to have some fresh boobies on my mind first though.

 

 

I agree...you need to just confront your neighbor in a non agressive way and share with him what your thoughts and opinions are about what you feel has been going on.  Maybe he has an issue of some sort and he isn't even aware of it and he's just a lonely dude.  Either way, I'd have to expect that having a casual and neighborly chat about it should make the situation better...just raising the awareness.  If not...then man, I hate to say, you have your hands full.  I've been blessed over the years to have mostly fantastic neighbors but I've heard enough stories to be scared as hell of getting a bad one.

 

 

maybe before you block him on facebook...use that as your conversation method...that way it won't have the opportunity of getting accidentally confrontational.

[Big A]

See my How to get rid of acquaintance thread, advice worked for me! Haven't seen guy in a while!

[CarolinaNCSU]

Does this neighbor have the cops harassing him and snakes falling out of his laundry room? 

 

 

But seriously, weird situation and not much you can do other than what you're doing. If you piss him off, who knows what happens. 

[Proudiddy]

Does this neighbor have the cops harassing him and snakes falling out of his laundry room? 

 

 

But seriously, weird situation and not much you can do other than what you're doing. If you piss him off, who knows what happens. 

 

As I've said before, I had a rough childhood and grew up in bad neighborhoods...  both urban and rural.  My family was harassed, threatened, and my mother was even physically assaulted by a neighbor growing up (jumped inside of her car while waiting for my little sister at the bus stop).  I'm not saying this out of machismo or whatever, but I don't fear another human being.  BUT, having my own wife and children to look out for now, I'd rather avoid these situations.

 

Without getting too specific, his job would suggest he should be a sane, stable individual...  But, his behavior has said anything BUT that.

[Chimera]

Ugh...

I had a neighbor like that once. I wish I had just talked to him about his weirdness. Instead, I let him take me to my breaking point and I went off on him. I didn't hit him or anything, I just verbally assaulted him to the point he literally pissed himself. He eventually divorced and moved away. I never had a problem with him after our "chat".

I don't recommend that approach. I like neighborhoods to have a positive vibe. Mine definitely didn't for a while. Felt more awkward than having him inserting himself everywhere.

[NCstoner420]

Walk around naked and hit on him.

[Darth Biscuit]

Yeah, you're gonna have to just be direct.

Don't be mean (not assuming you would) and just be honest... But be very dir ct and tell him that you can talk and will be cordial but you feel that some of the comments and behaviors he's had are awkward and make you and your wife uncomfortable.

Then watch that motherfuger. He sounds crazy as poo.

[cardiackat88.]

It's called "accidental drowning".

No, but seriously, try to divert his attention to another neighbor not giving him the time of day.