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Awkward moment on Euro toilet seat while woman cleans the restroom


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So I'm in Germany this week for work and today was at a trade show. After completing the longest trade show crop dust of my life I head to the restroom to poop. When I walk in it's a full house and there is a 20 something year old German girl cleaning the bathroom. Dudes are busting ass in stalls and pissing all around her and she is just cleaning like a boss. So I wait and finally a stall opens up. I follow suit and enter the thunder dome to a smelly remnant in the smallest toilet I have ever seen. There is literally no way my dick, balls, and ass will fit within the circumference of the seat. So I tuck my shirt and tie under my chin, fashion my hand in a way that I can push my cock and balls back as far as possible and proceed to sit down. Just as I sit the brunette cleaning the joint opens the door. I'm sitting there all contorted looking like I'm trying to fist myself and she just glances at me, sweeps around my legs and dropped trousers, and shuts the door. fuging A bros.

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Generally speaking, I find Europeans are much less hung up on bodily functions and bathroom etiquette than Americans. It's times like that that I have to force myself to remember that we are a culture descended from puritans who basically thought every biological urge or process was a sin.

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Generally speaking, I find Europeans are much less hung up on bodily functions and bathroom etiquette than Americans. It's times like that that I have to force myself to remember that we are a culture descended from puritans who basically thought every biological urge or process was a sin.

Usually when I have to use a public restroom, I try to create a stench that will make other people leave. If I lack the proper stench, a good bout of moaning and groaning and cries to Jesus to just get it out of me, will send a few people running. The best part about it is, when I'm all done and leave, there's usually 4 or 5 guys standing just outside the restroom entrance with a look that says "Do I really need to go in there?"

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