Effing yellow jackets...

[Chaos]

Aggressive fugers, watch yourself.

[Rise of The Hive]

I got stung in the face once, I hate anything that stings.

[heel31ok]

So, not this past weekend but the previous one, I was minding my own business venturing out to the woods behind the house to retrieve my game camera. Before you get all "omg you shouldn't kill animals" I don't hunt and use the camera just to see what kind of wildlife I can verify is coming through my property.

Anyway, I am making my way towards the trap and I notice a hole in the ground that's cleared out around and see several yellow jackets flying around the hole. I say to myself "cool, a yellow jacket nest... lemme just alter my path to avoid them.." I get my camera, and start heading back up to the house. I make my way around the nest again and then BOOM! fug YOUR LEG MOTHERfugER! A rogue flying hellion is latched on to my knee high white socks (that I put on to help me see any ticks that might want to chomp on me) with his stinger doing all kinds of stabbing into my calf just above my ankle. I've got all kinds of environmental allergies so there was a minor thought that I hoped I didn't get a reaction to the sting. All seemed well. Just a mosquito bite type irritation and some very minor pain for the remainder of the evening.

Fast forward one week, to this past weekend.

Saturday, the wife and I painted the kitchen. I was noticing (and had noticed) that the area around the sting had been pretty itchy all week. Well, that night after being on it a while (and being on it a while at a birthday party that morning) my ankle had started swelling a bit and was red and hot.

Sunday morning, she's blazin'. I can't cure the itch. I figure I've got a pretty bad infection going on, so off to the Urgent Care I go.

The doc starts throwing around the words "staph" and the anagram "MRSA" and the possible need to cut the wound open if it doesn't respond to medication and I'm all like "aww hell naw!"

I'm now on two antibiotics. I got the swelling pretty much under wraps and the heat is out of it. But, she's still itching like a sonofabitch. I still have some fear that the antibiotics won't fully rid me of whatever is going on in there, and that I'll have to go back to the doc for another round or something else.

Needless to say, as soon as I get back at 100% I know a certain yellow jacket civilization that will be wiped from the planet.

OMG, you don't hunt?

[Bronn]

OMG, you don't hunt?

 

I'm not going to hunt until it is necessary for my survival.

 

[Panthro]

Then its people

[Bronn]

Then its people

 

Bingo!

[CatofWar]

True story... I was home alone and the mood hit me. Fired up the seXBox and found some good viewing material. I drop my pants and sit on the couch. Unknown to me a yellow jacket was just chilling on the couch. That bastard stung me right on the taint. Needless to say I couldn't finish.

[PantherMan89]

True story... I was home alone and the mood hit me. Fired up the seXBox and found some good viewing material. I drop my pants and sit on the couch. Unknown to me a yellow jacket was just chilling on the couch. That bastard stung me right on the taint. Needless to say I couldn't finish.

A stung taint and blue balls. That's a pretty crappy night

[Captroop]

Apparently I'm like a wasp whisperer. I've gotten stung when I was a little kid, but they still don't scare me. And generally speaking there are some easy ways to avoid getting stung (obviously they won't work across the board, as in the stories where you don't see the wasp first. Of if you get near the hive, or God forbid hit it. You can't run far enough for them to stop chasing you after that).

 

First, they respond aggressively to erratic movements, so if you swat at them, you're more likely to get stung. If you want to get rid of a wasp, just try to push it away slowly with your hand. I promise you won't get stung. They might even land on your hand, but unless you shake it, it will probably just think you're a tree or something.

 

Second, and this sounds ridiculous, but clamp your elbows to your side and try to cover your armpits. Wasps react to the salt and natural sugars in your sweat, which might be why CoW got stung in his sweaty man-puss.

 

I don't mind wasps really. Horseflies, on the other hand... I see one of those fuggers and I get my racquetball racquet and start working on my backhand. God do I hate horseflies.

[Porn Shop Clerk]

i dumped a container of black pepper down a nest one time, followed with a pot of boiling water in an effort to drive them away without chemicals or toxins because they were in my blackberry patch

 

it didn't work.

[Bronn]

Apparently I'm like a wasp whisperer. I've gotten stung when I was a little kid, but they still don't scare me. And generally speaking there are some easy ways to avoid getting stung (obviously they won't work across the board, as in the stories where you don't see the wasp first. Of if you get near the hive, or God forbid hit it. You can't run far enough for them to stop chasing you after that).

 

First, they respond aggressively to erratic movements, so if you swat at them, you're more likely to get stung. If you want to get rid of a wasp, just try to push it away slowly with your hand. I promise you won't get stung. They might even land on your hand, but unless you shake it, it will probably just think you're a tree or something.

 

Second, and this sounds ridiculous, but clamp your elbows to your side and try to cover your armpits. Wasps react to the salt and natural sugars in your sweat, which might be why CoW got stung in his sweaty man-puss.

 

I don't mind wasps really. Horseflies, on the other hand... I see one of those fuggers and I get my racquetball racquet and start working on my backhand. God do I hate horseflies.

 

A wasp has only gotten me twice... I had trapped him against my body with my arm without realizing it one time, and then the other I had one fly up my sleeve while riding down the road...

But this yellow jacket that got me was just plain aggressive. I went out of my way to avoid him.

TBQH I am more mad that it got infected than I am about the sting. Still, once I heal up, I will murder all this yellow jacket's kinfolk.

[Porn Shop Clerk]

idk how possible it would be to build a fire in a small to medium size cardboard box and then set it on top of the nest and light it, being its in the woods, but that's how i got rid of mine

 

[Captroop]

idk how possible it would be to build a fire in a small to medium size cardboard box and then set it on top of the nest and light it, being its in the woods, but that's how i got rid of mine

 

But what happened to your blackberries???

[Porn Shop Clerk]

yeah they're not doing as well this year