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I have no game in Spanish..


Ivan The Awesome

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As many of you know, I used to live in the good ol' USA. There, it did not matter that I was close to 300 pounds. 280 to be exact. That I was a low level employee with a 4 cylinder car. I had some game. I could woo any woman off her feet. Why? Because I have a little thing called confidence. That and one really quick wit to make the ladies laugh. The thing I found out at a very young age...if you make a girl laugh, she will be all over you.

 

 

 

....fast forward to my extraction of the USA...and now I am here...In my mother land. The land I was born in. Mexico. Things have been rough. When I used to have dates a plenty...now...I am in a huge huge drought. I focused myself in my work. It has paid off and now...I want to hit the dating scene. Problem is that....my game is lost in translation. I know it's about the attitude I provide...but it's hard to get dates down here for me. Mainly because I have no game in spanish. Everything I try...it's like...not good. I have gone out on dates but they have not been successful like in the states. I sometimes rely on my wit, actually, all the time. Its not that my wit is missing in Spanish, its just that it's lost in translation. I often find hearing myself speak at such a high level that it bores even me. 

 

 

...there's this girl...she's....omg...she's freaking gorgeous. I've been talking to her for about a year... here's a pic of her... looking all fine with her glasses...Girls with glasses drive me nuts...

 

 

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....anyway. I'm kind of setting myself up badly here. I know I should have such high expectations before even going out with her. She recently broke up with her Ex...and I may become the rebound guy. But....I don't know man. Her likes are the opposite of mine. I am so americanized that its like...weird. She loves 'Banda' music. I hate that crap. She loves Justin Beiber...I hate the fuger..she's also 8 years younger than me. 

 

 

I'm at my wits end. I really want this to work out with her, she's a sweet sweet girl that's had really bad break ups. I know if we hit it off, things would be great. Its' just that things have to hit off. I'm afraid of fuging things up before I try. I'm kind of cock blocking myself here....any tips guys? I'm like...nervous as fug. I'm usually not nervous unless I like the person a lot. So yeah...

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This will not end well.

I would cool guy it. Chicks love to hear, let's take things slow. But then again I'm probably the worst person take relationship advice from. For example last week was my anniversary. That morning my girlfriend said, 'I'm so sorry I completely forgot it's our anniversary'. I said, 'i can't believe you forgot. It's only been the same date for the past few years...' She let me go on for a few minutes then said, 'You forgot too.' So i threw a dog toy at her and made her breakfast

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This will not end well.

I would cool guy it. Chicks love to hear, let's take things slow. But then again I'm probably the worst person take relationship advice from. For example last week was my anniversary. That morning my girlfriend said, 'I'm so sorry I completely forgot it's our anniversary'. I said, 'i can't believe you forgot. It's only been the same date for the past few years...' She let me go on for a few minutes then said, 'You forgot too.' So i threw a dog toy at her and made her breakfast

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Awww that's sooo cute...

 

 

 

I lack the ability to swoon women in spanish dude...I don't know. It's harder in Spanish that in English. I lack NOOO confidence in English. When it comes to Spanish. That's when I stutter and stuff like that. Women pick up on that poo. I have experience I just haven't been able to do it in another language...I think you're right..This may not end well.-_-. 

 

 

 

Look at her man! She's fuging gorgeous. Everything about her I like. I think...i"m getting to be obsessed with her. That can't be good. 

 

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Ah. Um, yeah I do. I have this chick at work that's married. She's been coaching me and stuff...what to say and such. It's just going to be very different when the bullets start flying. You know? I get really nervous around her. That's the thing...She knows it. For all I know she might think that's cute, or very lame. I don't know. I can't read her mind. She has a lot of guys asking her out though. That's another factor that I need to focus on. If I don't do something some other douche may do it and get her.... I have to act fast. 

 

One last pic...omfg....<3

 

 

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hell i don't have any game in english… luckily i don't have to worry about the consequences of that anymore. being married has its upsides.

 

if i were you i would listen to "be yourself" by audioslave about a thousand times before you hang out with her next time and then just go with it. at the end of the day she'll either appreciate your candor and lack of fronting or she'll reject you for a lack of it (and thus showing her lack of character and maturity, which is pretty important.)

 

good luck

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Toca la guitara

That's all I remember from Spanish class. Think it means "I play the guitar." Hope this helps, Ivan.

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That's "you play the guitar" as in telling someone to. And it's "guitarra"

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