Staying together for the sake of the kids?

[MCC]

Women start to wander & look for greener pastures because 2,3,4,5,10,15 years into it the relationship is no longer a perfect HS sweetheart fling romance with butterflies & unicorns.

They're stupid that way.

 

 

What a dumb male chauvinistic comment.  

[Lumps]

The constant conflicts, lack of unity and disagreement between parents are more detrimental to a child than having only one parent around. 

 

This.

 

I majored in developmental psychology and studies have been done that show, a seperated couple who support one another and work together in a nurturing way is much more effective in creating a better enviroment for kids going through their parents getting divorced.

 

Staying together just for the sake of the kids is one of the WORST things you can do o your child. The child will notice, parents tend to underestimate their child's ability to see things. The child does not care whether you are married, have a ring, or sleep in the same bad. Children are more simplistic than that, which is why traditional views don't work. Children are OBSERVANT, the want to see adults getting along, respecting one another as friends and partners in life, and working towards a goal in unison and peace through accountability and responsibility. This is what raises a child. Being separated is NOT the same as being a SINGLE parent. FOr a single parent, the dynamics of development change quite a bit and it can be much more challenging.

 

Traditional views are just that, traidtional and outdated. You have to remember, alot of those tradtition came from morals stemming from religion and not actual facts based on the well being of the child. It is not better to force yourself to be with someone you don't get along with, in time the child will recognize it and it may harm their future relationships and behaviors.

 

If you're really interested in hte subject, research child psychology articles, there are a TON of empirical and descriptive studies on the subject. There are also a lot of interesting articles on the subject in forensic psychology.

[The Huddler]

Yeah, when you make the vows people should mean it. In sickness, in health, for better for worse. Its a comitment you fix, not discard. A major problem with our society today and a factor in its downgrade. People act like old school morals are stupid and for blind losers. Well, they serve a purpose peeps.

[g5jamz]

Kids are going to be hurt and torn regardless if the two parents with issues either stay together or are apart.

[bleys]

Yeah, when you make the vows people should mean it. In sickness, in health, for better for worse. Its a comitment you fix, not discard. A major problem with our society today and a factor in its downgrade. People act like old school morals are stupid and for blind losers. Well, they serve a purpose peeps.

Ehhhhhhhhhhh....

[The Huddler]

Ehhhhhhhhhhh....

You Can ehhhhh all you want brewski

[The Huddler]

its funny and disturbing at the same time how alien of a concept commitment is now a days. Whatever ill do me

[bleys]

its funny and disturbing at the same time how alien of a concept commitment is now a days. Whatever ill do me

Its not really that alien of a concept at all. . But the latter rather hits the nail on the head. That's the key after all isn't it...

[SmootsDaddy89]

My parents stayed until I was 18 and then split literally the day I moved out for college. But they fought and verbally and even sometimes physically abused each other so much I actually think that was more scarring than if they had just split up when I was 13 when they first realized the love wasn't there anymore.

 

Everyone's different, obviously. You have to decide if you can actually live with each other without exposing your children to all the infighting, if you can't, I think it's better to split up honestly.

[cookinwithgas]

Well I think all the advocates for trying to stay for the kids are adamant that the parents are fine with each other.

[CatofWar]

We are having this issue now. We have seperated twice before, both times reconciling for the kids. Now, I think it may have ran its final course. It sucks so much dick.

[Sapper]

I first read sake as if it were the Japanese rice wine. So I'm obviously not one for advice.

My folks had some close calls growing up, but they threw it away to raise us.

[Goondal]

I am in my 16th year working with kids and parents that stay together for the kids do more harm than those that divorce. If parents really want to make a decision for the kids then they will have a divorce that is as civil as possible, agree to joint custody and treat/talk about each other with respect in front of the kids regardless of how they feel about each other in private.

It takes two very strong people that are dedicated to their kids to do this but I have seen it done and those kids are by far the best off of kids in those situations.

[AKPantherFan]

I stayed in a marriage for 9.5 years for the sake of my kids. I tired, took her to counseling and did my best.

When my children were mentally capable of understanding I divorced her.

It sucked. But I don't want my kids in a relationship where the standard of love was not set

I am remarried now and my wife loves them to death and my kids get to see what a happy family is like.

There is no right answer, you just have to do what you think is right and make the most of it.

For me, staying with someone who didn't love me was not the right answer.