Cowboys Week: Let's do this

[shaqattaq]

11 hours ago, Kevin Greene said:

Victory!

There was a time when you could actually respect the Cowboy organization. Jerry Jones wrote the checks and Jimmy Johnson called the shots.

Then one day Jerry Jones woke up and being the egomaniac he is he decided he could run the Cowboys better than Jimmy:

20 years has past since the team Jimmy built has won it all in Dallas.

Stuff them farther down the sewer drain that is the Dallas cowboys on Thanksgiving Panthers.

Keep Pounding!

HAHA! I hate Jerry Jones like I hate Nazis. As long as he has he has a firm grip on Gerrett's ball sack, refusing to let him frikin coach, the boys are gonna suck! And YES..."Greg hardy can eat a dick!"

[KendrickPanther]

These Cowboys fans are convinced they would be undefeated with tony Romo. They lost 7 games in a row. Got a QB back that threw 2 interceptions on a team that committed 10 penalties. They played against a team that had its Coach fired with a losing record. All of this adds up to Super Bowl if you are from Dallas. Do they not remember what a real Dallas contender looks like? There hasn't been one since 1996 so it is understandable to forget what a really good team looks like. 

 

They just don't get it. Even if they beat us, the Packers, Bills, and Jets are still more than capable of beating them.

[The Vanguard]

Great as usual @SCP.

[PhillyB]

we can't lose.

[LA_Panther]

13 hours ago, SCP said:

Ten and mother freaking zero.  You like THAT? YOU LIKE THAT!  Let that sink in.  Ten wins.  No losses.  Hot damn it was great to send the fans of that team from Landover , MD home from BofA with a beat down of epic proportions.  Even the Panthers twitter handle bitch slapped the Redskins down to Earth when the moron handling the Skins Twitter account tried to claim Carolina as Redskin country during their little fan fest at Whiskey freaking River.  LMFAOOOOOOO.  They owned Whiskey River. Congrats you bunch of classless dick bags.   I hope each of you suffered a ruptured testicle while trying to mount your fat ass on the electronic bull.  You can have that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, we’ll take owning your ass on the field 7 days a week and 44 times on Sunday.  And I have a newfound distaste for 800lb. inbreds wearing gear with a Native American caricature and a derogatory name plastered on the back. Either 98% of Redskin fans are homeless or some discount website had a fire sale on faded ass 1980’s Logo Athletic brand Redskins jackets.  Redskin fans had me thinking I was at a Loaves & Fishes food drive event instead of an NFL game.  I was about to buy cheese fries for half those sad looking sumbitches in attendance yesterday.  I even threw some spare change at one dude.  But you know what?  Fug ‘em. They are yesterday’s news and just another brick in the wall now.  Irrelevant and stagnant, just like the tattered and sh*t stained sweat pants half the women in burgundy wore yesterday.  On to the next piece of trash, and I mean TRASH, fan base and team on the schedule.  Bring on the Cowgirls, turkey, bad ass uni’s, and a fan base that is dumber than a bag of dried up cat sh*t.

When you look up stupid in the dictionary, it probably says something along the lines of “lacks intelligence or common sense”.  Enter Dallass Cowboy fans.  Delusional disorder combined with a $50 gift card to Kmart and a total lack of intelligence creates what we know today as Cowboy Fan.  Cowboy Fan is pretty easy to spot.  It’s like spotting a person of color in the stands at a Utah Jazz basketball game.  Cowboy fans stand out like the chafed nipple of a white trash inbred in a mesh “Beer, Jesus and Jeff Foxworthy” tank top shopping for knick knacks at The Yankee Candle store.  The cars they drive feature a Cowboy license plate, a Tarheel window cling, a NY Yankees flag, and a LA Lakers hat displayed in the rear window.  These morons know two things about the Cowboys:  “How bout ‘em” and “5 rings”.  That’s it.  You could go down to the Humane Society, adopt a dog, and teach it to eat its own sh*t and you would own a dog that would win a trivia battle with a Dallass fan.  A fan base that was used as the placebo controlled group to find treatment for fungal candidiasis (google that poo), Dallass fans haven’t had anything to crow about since 1995 when Pontiac was selling a damn 4 cylinder LeMans. Embarrassing as hell even though I drove one.  In 1995, Cotton Eye Joe was a Billboard Top 10 song and Panthro’s Members Only jacket had already been out of style for 10 years yet in 2015 these Cowboy fans bloviate endlessly about an era that is totally irrelevant to me as a Panther fan.  Anything that happened prior to the inception of our franchise is meaningless garbage and should be ignored.  There is a statute of limitations (no Cowboy fan, it’s not statue of limitations) when it comes to bravado and if my team wasn’t around when your team was successful then that statute of limitations has been exceeded so shut your damn pie hole.  When Cowboy Fan hops in his 1989 Mercury Topaz LTS Sedan all decked out in Cowboy sh*t to run to the video store to pick up a VHS it must create a space time continuum that takes them back to the 80’s and early 90’s. Time travel is the only way I can force myself to understand their bravado.

For those Cowboy fans that infest the Carolina’s, here is a little history on the area since 99% percent of them haven’t been to the state of Texas and think the Cowboys play in Dallas, NC.  Around about 1840 after Texas had gained independence from Mexico, John Nealy Bryan was out roaming the plains in search of lonely cattle ranchers in need of a little late night cattle prodding, if you know what I mean.  He ended up settling along the Trinity River and named the area Dallas after a young cow poke that he made memories with on a steamy southwestern night.  Word spread fast about the special talents of Bryan and Dallas grew leaps and bounds over the years.  Decades passed and the oil boom brought prosperity to the region and eventually the area was awarded a professional football team.  Coined “America’s Team” by some NFL Films narrator the team’s popularity took off as every half wit conformist with the inability to think as an individual jumped on the bandwagon.  The labile phenomenon known as the autokinetic effect kicked in and the lemmings fell prey to the influence of suggestion.  The result was the birth of one of the most ignorant and loud mouth fan bases on earth.  So this Thanksgiving, make sure to give a special thank you to John Nealy Bryan because he is the reason we have to hear “3 and Romo”. 

This Thursday our boys are going to be decked out in Panther blue and taking the field in Arlington to play a game in front of the nation.  We are the underdogs again.  We are being doubted again.  I think that makes 10 weeks or so when we are supposed to lose because of this or that.  Romo is back.  Big fugging deal.  I think the analysts are looking at this game all wrong.  Cam Newton is arriving.  Our offense is dynamic and I can’t believe what Mike Shula is putting together each Sunday.  The man beast is back at left guard.  Greg Hardy can eat a dick.  Cam and company are going to control the clock and dominate time of possession.  Our defense will limit Darren McFadden on Thursday and we will force Tony Romo to make that crucial turnover.  After a large plate of turkey with a little dab of potatoes and a little dab of stuffing, I will be settling in to watch our Panthers put the last naysayers against the ropes for a knock out blow.  I think we come out on Thursday and show the nation what type of team Nippleshorts has built here in Charlotte.  A team that balls together and a team that out works its opponents.  Let the Cowboy fans chirp folks, that’s all they know how to do.  Talk.  Hey Dallass fans, you hear that?  The Panthers are here to remind us that the biggest and the baddest get to make all the rules.

Panthers 34
Cowboys 17

Happy Thanksgiving my Panther brethren.  Give e'm hell out there RoaringRiot.  That Walmart across from AT&T stadium is a great place to take a sh*t in an emergency.
 
 

"Anything that happened prior to the inception of our franchise is meaningless garbage and should be ignored." 

"Greg Hardy can eat a dick" ... I concur sir

Anything BC (before Carolina ) is irrelevant ... haha

 

[CPcavedweller]

In 1995.....I was 4 years old. So what happened in 1995 is meaningless to me regardless of who the team is. 

[LA_Panther]

I became a fan when we beat the 9ers in Sf the 96 season, but my fandom was actually cemented when we beat the Cowgirls in the 96 playoffs. I think we knocked out Michael Irvin out of the game, and dude came back in the 2nd half with a pimp suit on if I am not mistaken ... good times

[ncmonzta]

1 hour ago, LA_Panther said:

I became a fan when we beat the 9ers in Sf the 96 season, but my fandom was actually cemented when we beat the Cowgirls in the 96 playoffs. I think we knocked out Michael Irvin out of the game, and dude came back in the 2nd half with a pimp suit on if I am not mistaken ... good times

I remember Dieon Sanders being put out, but not Irvin.  Either way, good times

[joeyxfresco]

This post gave me even more motivation(if it was even needed) to troll all my Cowboy fan coworkers in my office here in Texas

[!stUp]

Luke     and his forces will take out the  Dallas Death Star

But remember Luke....

[GRWatcher]

1 hour ago, ncmonzta said:

I remember Dieon Sanders being put out, but not Irvin.  Either way, good times

They were both hurt. Dieon came back but wasn't the same. They carted Irvin off the field.

[heelsrule1988]

Glad to see "google that poo" making a return. SCP delivers as always.

[islandhopper81]

No one knows who Dallas is named after. It has been a long time since the Cowboys have won the Super Bowl. Carolina having never done it makes it a curious angle of approach. Heck it's been almost that long since the Panthers have beat the Cowboys. Oh well better luck next time. 

[ok2h8pep]

I learned something today.  There is a town in NC called Dallas.

Let the unlearning process begin.