Teen Step-son smoking pot

[o803oVaDeR]

I need a little advise guys. I have suspected that my 16 year old step-son was smoking pot, so I searched his room, and found little bags with seeds left in them in a lock box that was not locked. The box smelled just like weed, so I know that is what it is. I have not told his mother, because I know she will flip the f out. I want to confront him about it, and give him a chance before I tell his mother. Any advise on what to do here. I have never had to deal with this before. Thanks in advance for the help.

[Delhommey]

Yeah, unless there are a lot of other problems, my main worry is he's buying stuff with a bunch of seeds in it.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

Tricky situation.

What's your relationship like with him? He's not going to want to hear anything you have to say, no matter how reasonable or caring it is in nature, because you searched his room.

At the same time, I can understand that you don't want him to do that at that age. I guess I'm in the same boat as the other posters who say let it be, but maybe keep an eye on him.

[Henne Given Sunday]

biggest concern imo, is not the pot....but make sure hes not doing heavier stuff. pills, coke etc. and honestly i puff every once in awhile, but it IS illegal.....sooooooo cant just "be cool with it" then him get busted for selling or buying...and when you and wifey go pick him up from jail he goes "dude....my step dad knew about it the entire time, he was cool about it"

you'll get your ass kicked from his mom. just sayin.

[The Saltman]

good advice from the guys. only thing I would worry about is if he gets too into being a pot head and needs other drugs to get him high. and tell himm to buy better weed.

[Delhomeboy]

You probably already know this, but if you want your son to actually stop with the pot, you've come to the wrong place.

[The Saltman]

you probably already know this, but if you want your son to actually stop with the pot, you've come to the wrong place.

.....qft

[g5jamz]

LOL...yep Delhomeboy

Lot o' stoners and potheads in the Huddle.

If you don't acknowledge that you know...and you mention it later when you think it's a better time...you'll look like the bad guy for not saying something sooner. You know. You know you have to tell your wife and his biological dad, IF he's involved at all.

If the wife is horrified, just tell her it is ya'lls house and she and your liability if he gets caught dealing or anything out of the house. Meth...weed...doesn't really matter in terms of illegality.

[Carolina Husker]

If his grades are not bad and he is not a bum let it go.

If its not fuging up his life let it be.

You talk to him about it and let him know you'll be keeping an eye on things but don't make a huge deal out of it.

Yeah, unless there are a lot of other problems, my main worry is he's buying stuff with a bunch of seeds in it.

This and this.

Just let him know that you know. But unless he starts being a dickhead and drops out of high school to tour with Phish, I wouldn't make an issue of it.

I used to pinch my dad's weed when I was 16. My mom's heavy-handed disciplinary style only made me want to go out and get high even more.

[Jbro]

My parents tried to get me to quit smoking pot when I was younger because I went to a private school that drug tested (weird I know.) So all of at as school started doing Cocaine on Friday nights so it would be out of our system by Monday. Like everyone else said if he is not doing hard stuff and he is not getting it from some shady guy who will put him in danger I would let it slide. If you push him away from it he will try harder stuff.

[The Saltman]

speaking of pot...:leaving:

[pstall]

Depends on your relationship with the kids. Typically that's a tough dynamic. Kid might still wish mom and dad were together(that too depends on dad and type of guy he is or if he is around/alive).

The time that you guys married and the age of the kid is also a factor. For boys, they have a more difficult time relaying their emotions as it is and now there is this "new guy". But that too may be moot because you have been around him since he was real young.

Some step parents have all the responsibility and zero authority. So without knowing if mom has more parental clout than you it's also tough to say.

To give solid input I would need to know more about the two of you guy's relationship and where mom fits in.

He may view you as a ghost and will simply do what he wants. He might be doing this to just fit in and does it only out peer pressure.

Might also being doing it because he likes it or wants to escape or is super bored.

I would for now keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't begin to withdraw from you guys and who is he hanging with. Kids think they are slick.

But the trust has to be there because if it gets broken then it can be very tough to reach him later. Don't confuse "being cool" with trust.

Good luck

[PanthaSan]

Don't say anything but keep an eye on the box. If you find weed, take it, don't tell him or admit to anything and send it to me. I will be sure to dispose of it properly.

Just tryin' to help.

Actually, if he wants to smoke pot, he will find a way. Short of locking him in a room, there is little you can do. If you send him to a rehab, the only thing that would accomplish is to help him find new connections.

[Guest Jacob3-89]

So what?

If he is making good grades who gives a fug. as long he is smart and does not do other drugs