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National Lampoon Panther Vacation

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

Panther fans! Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned Panther season. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm NFL emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Playoff run since Shannon Sharpe caught TD passes from Johnny f*cking Elway. And when Nippleshorts squeezes his fat white ass behind that podium at the end of the season, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Dave Gettleman, our GM, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Mint and Moorehead with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey poo he is! Hallelujah! Holy poo! Where's the Tylenol?

http://youtu.be/TQXuazYI_YU

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Shitter's full! Happy Thanksgiving!

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    • PantherChris
      RODS gotta GO

      By PantherChris · Posted

      When a team has EXPECTATIONS you have to show them that your fandom and praise is EARNED.  People would be mad if the they lost two one goal competitive games like 2023 but they wouldn't have gotten booed out of the building because the effort and competitiveness would be there but to lose in THAT fashion at home with your entire top line going free lance and saying fug this yeahhh.
    • frankw
      Jalen Ramsey

      By frankw · Posted

      Well with back to back road games to open the season again we really can't afford a "slow start" at least not for the psyche of the fanbase that is already at rock bottom from years of losing. I think that will depend on our approach to preseason this go around. But I do agree the makings of a culture change could be big for us. At the same time we heard talk of this last year and then we got the doors blown off multiple times. I can agree with you it's best to try to maintain perspective until we get closer to the midway point of the season. The main things I want to see early on even if we aren't necessarily winning is spark and toughness from the offense and defense and at least keeping games close.
    • PantherChris
      First goal 25 Playoff Series

      By PantherChris · Posted

      First goal hmmm im going with Verhague
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