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sweet jeebus i'm in thailand

PhillyB

By PhillyB,
in Huddle Lounge

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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holy damn. i knew i twas in thailand when i saw a pink fluorescent sign that said "pussy house" over silom's patpong district. pussy house indeed. goddamn thai whores everywhere, hot as fug in small-ass clothes and trying to grab my weiner every time i walk by. damn, there's way to avoid it. southeast asian poontang throwing itself at you. you've gotta bat it away robin williams in the attic in jumanji, with goddamn tennis rackets through the stupid tim burton creepy movie circular window until they all die or leave you alone.

being married, i navigated past pussy house up to the skyrail. thirty-one thai baht gets you all the way to sukhumvit soi 11, which is a dollar, less than that at current rates, and then i'm smack in the middle of party central. also ladybody central. nothing but dudes with square jaws trying to get some phillyballs. or chicks i guess, they identify as chicks, and gender is fluid, as you know. but these dudes had the D, they were pre-op. i had to wade through them to get to all the clubs.

the clubs, man, fuging sick. rivals anything i've seen back home. i dropped eight bucks a beer and got wasted. bunch of chicks dancing all over me. i ignored the pretentious backpackers and everyone actually and then this thai chick from bangkok started dancing all over me. i bought her a beer because she seemed nice. then she asked me if i wanted to go back to my hotel and fug. nope! sorry thanlee. she got pissed and left. then another girl started dancing next to me at the bar when i got my eighth singha, and i bought her a singha, and we talked in poo-ass broken thai for like ten minutes. she danced all up my ass and i had to reject her too. damn hoes be all up on my behind. 

one more day in thailand and i fly home. all my thai baht is gone. it's 4:30am in bangkok and i'm chuging consecutive bottles of water to avoid being hung over in the morning at like 1pm when i wake up. don't go to thailand ever unless you're single, turning down poontang is a bitch and a half.

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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My cousin lives there pm me if are interested in hanging with a gringo

ehh i only got a day left. i'm gonna spend it being hung over and then finding some sticky rice and chicken cause i'm broke and then fly home. thx tho

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