Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

I just had an epoophany: Panthers will beat the Cardinals

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

Panthers 27

Cards 17

 

 

carson.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nctarheel0619 Newbie

nctarheel0619

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, SCP said:

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

 

 

carson.jpg

Score prediction?  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
The_Rainmaker Newbie

The_Rainmaker

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, SCP said:

So I am not traveling this week which means all my craps have been home games.  My legs don’t fall asleep as fast on the home porcelain and I tend to think a little clearer, at least before the single ply hits the dirt star and all hell breaks loose.  So this morning I walk into the shithouse and the handicap stall is sitting there beckoning for my sexy ass to hop and drop and get my poop on like it’s 1995.  I do so with angelic harps playing in the back ground and with a clear heart and conscious I bear down for a sweet Autumn ride on a porcelain Harley.  Legs stretched and relaxed like I’m lying in a field on a crisp Autumn day it hits me that the Panthers are going to win Sunday.  Now, some might say this is due to the euphoria of a fantastic poop supplemented by Roy Hibbert and MKGetThatShitOuttaHere leading my Hornets to an opening season victory but it’s not that simple.  No.  Here is the deal.  We are going to win Sunday.  Why?  Carson Palmer is going to turn the ball over 4 times and we are going to score off those turnovers.  Palmer’s demons will show up this Sunday.  He’s going to have the last few games he’s played here dating back to Oakland dancing in his head.  I think he will be trying to force things and will shart the bed.  This game will come down to a fragile psyche. I have sat on too many automated toilets that flush during a poop session and get my balls wet.  As a result I naturally don’t trust a toilet with a sensor so I’m all jumpy and can’t relax.  Folks, we are Carson Palmer’s automated toilet.  Bank on this W and lets send Carson Palmer a gift basket after it’s all over.

 

 

carson.jpg

giphy.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • HeelsPanthersCanes
      Canes got booed off the ice

      By HeelsPanthersCanes · Posted

      Hope you get well soon my man!
    • tukafan21
      PFF ranks the 2025 starting QBs

      By tukafan21 · Posted

      Exactly He's played two seasons and started 28 games. He's well beyond the point of being able to point to 2 or 3 games and being able to say, "THAT is the QB he is and will be in the future" Of course he can get there, but anyone trying to use just those couple of games to rank his place amongst the games QB's today and their full career's worth of playing at that level, is just asinine. Mahomes, Allen, Lamar, Burrow, Hurts, Herbert, Daniels, Stafford, Goff, Geno, Purdy, Baker, Love, Dak, Tua, Kyler, Lawrence That's 17 QB's right there that have played better over their careers than Bryce has played at his best.  And I'm not saying they're all studs or guys I'd want to be our QB moving forward, Tua for example I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole, but his body of work is a million times better than Bryce's has been. It's also not including any of the other QB's drafted in 2023/2024 other than Daniels. So again, say you believe in Bryce, say you think he's going to prove he can and should be our QB of the future, that's all fair and totally fine. But nobody can say he's been an above average QB in his career thus far, it's just an asinine notion.
    • ClawOn
      Jalen Ramsey

      By ClawOn · Posted

      I'd think we could get one of those from Dallas for... whatever. 
×
×
  • Create New...