Best pearls of wisdom from your old man.

[pstall]

In honor of Father's Day coming up. If you were fortunate to have a dad around and spend time with him, I'm sure he had some interesting life's lessons to pass on. If ya got em share em.

A few from my dad. Some back ground. Dad was Sgt in the AF during Nam tough as nails. Goes into the music biz as an AM dj. Yeah.

-Son, if you are smart enough to get in to jail, you should be smart enough to get out.

-There is nothing wrong with a guy taking care of himself. Using lotion is fine.

-Ya gotta watch out for some women. That might be pretty but they set that trap and your stuck for life(best of his birds and bee's talks).

-I don't care what you got on your report card. Did you learn something today? Are you going to learn something tomorrow? Just learn something new everyday and you will be fine.

-Oil is the lifeblood of your car.

[dimbee]

"Measure twice, cut once because you can't do it the other way around."

"A garden needs sun and water. Don't plant in the shade."

"Why pay someone else to fix it if you can do it yourself with a bit of effort."

Top 3 that come to mind...

[pstall]

- I got a 26 inch tv and you got a 27 inch head. Boy move out the way.

[Darth Biscuit]

My dad always used to say...

"Women and children should play golf all they want... at night."

[Davidson Deac II]

Not from my own father, but from another one far wiser than mine.

Treat a slut like a lady and lady like a slut and you will do well with women.

[ItsNotGonnaBeAlright]

It's ok to date strippers, but only bring home the good girls. If you find one that can be both, marry her.

[Kettle]

better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it

[pantherfool]

"Son, you are the only boy I know that could fall into a bed of roses and come out smelling like poo."

He was right, too.

[mr beauxjangles]

what a great thread topic. my father wrote me a little book detailing his life experiences about fifteen years ago. i'm on the road for work travel right now but when i get back home i'll dig it up and share a few nuggets.

the most important words that ever came out of my father's mouth were without question:

between yesterday's regret and tomorrow's dream lies today's opportunity.

i'm quite certain that my father didn't come up with that, but it's something that he shared with me at a pivotal point in my life. those few words changed me completely when i first heard them as a teenager, and they still hold as much weight today as they did then. thanks pop. love ya man.

[88 Bronco]

If it flys, floats, or fugs it's cheaper to rent.

No matter how pretty she is, there is some poor son of a bitch somewhere that's tired of her poo.

If you're looking for sympathy it's in the dictionary somewhere between poo and syphilis.

[Delhommey]

Most in business:

- Remember the golden rule of business: he who hath the gold, makes the rules.

- (when I defended a co-worker that left me in a bad position by saying he's a nice guy) They're all nice guys. But where did that leave ya?

- Either do what you love or figure out how to love what you do, cause that's most of what you'll be doing.

- (on management) Hire good people. Figure out who you can trust. Make sure they get paid. Stay out of their way.

[thefuzz]

Man, way too many to list.

Most of them were just small things that I can use for the rest of my life.

Fishing, Hunting, Shooting, Treating Women, Driving, Boating...etc.

One that I will never forget though. Me and my buddies and our dads were all sitting around having beers on our dock one night. We were talking about what men and young men talk about after a few too many (I was probably 19-20). One of my bud's dad asked how that thing was going with me and my new girl (she was about 25 ish). I told him perfect, and that she was unreal in the sack.

Dad just smiled and said,

How do you think that she got that way????

[Delhommey]

- The Lord loves a working man.

- Don't trust whitey.

- See a doctor and get rid of it.

[natty]

If it moves and shouldn't - use duct tape.

If it doesn't move and should - use WD-40.