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Am I a bad person?

tarheelblue89

By tarheelblue89,
in Huddle Lounge

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tarheelblue89 Newbie

tarheelblue89

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Doubt any of you remember, but during the summer I posted about how I found out that my Uncle's cancer was now terminal. Well it looks like he is now down to his final breaths.

I ask if I am a bad person because I can't find it in me to go to the hospital to see him or my other family members.

We weren't really close, but we always saw each other around holidays and would talk about sports for some time. He is a huge Duke fan :rolleyes:

I hate hospitals, I've never been able to spend more than an hour sitting in one, just after a while I get really uncomfortable. I hate seeing people sad(especially my family members)

I know sooner or later, probably sooner, I'm gonna have to go in there.

Not really asking a serious question here, just wanted to put my thoughts down for a little bit.

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Epistaxis Newbie

Epistaxis

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Closure is a good thing.

Go do your propers for your uncle's sake and your other family members.

You might not get another chance, and that kind of guilt lasts a long time.

You aren't a bad person, many people avoid these situations and blame it on "hospital phobia", but the fact is the hospital is just a building. The issue is between your ears.

You are a bad baseball fan, but not a bad person.

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LifeisaGarden Newbie

LifeisaGarden

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I don't think it makes you a bad person for not wanting to see their pain. I feel the same way but I try to think about what's best for the person in the hospital and leave my feelings out of it. I think if it were me I'd suck it up and go. There's nothing wrong with leaving after an hours time, I think that's an appropriate visitation time.

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CLTPanther Contributor

CLTPanther

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I feel the same way. I haven't seen my mothers father, my only living grandparent, since probably 2001 or so. It's not that I don't like him, but he never really gave a poo about us growing up, so now I don't really give a poo about him. I probably should go see him, especially to let him see his great grandkid, but eh, screw it.

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Epistaxis Newbie

Epistaxis

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^ Reasonable points.

Depends on the situation.

I don't do the open casket thing for some of the same reasons.

Ghoulish, I'll keep my good, living memories.

If the person is still mentally intact, goodbyes can be very good for everybody.

When the person is not themselves for whatever reason, staying away is not unreasonable.

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