Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Everette Brown, I'd like to have a word with you.


Fiz

Recommended Posts

Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. I really appreciate you flying to Atlanta. Bottled Water? Croisant? Perhaps a moist towelette? How is that dish of mixed nuts? To your liking? Fantastic.

Did you notice the receptionist on your way in? Yeah, Cassandra. Wonderful Swedish Massage. She's certified. I specified that as a requirement when I hired her. I'm not sure who certified her exactly. Whoever does those things. But let me tell you, she's fantastic. And never ends on a low note, if you know what I mean. Ha. Seriously, whatever you need, just ask her. She's yours.

Listen, let me get down to business here. This whole, you, as a defensive end, thing. Yeah, no, we love the effort. You're a great guy. But, how should I.... do you like huey Lewis and the News? No? Great band. Sports was a fantastic album. I really think the kids should listen to him these days. I mean, the rhythms, and the chorus. You like a good rhythm, right?

Hold on, I'm just going to make myself a vodka soda. You alright? You sure? Sure you don't want anything? I have a tray of Fig Newtons in the back with your name on them, big guy. No? Okay, as I was saying.

Anyway, listen. We drafted you at the top of the second. Spent a first rounder on you to do it. Two draft picks. Two! I mean, wow, it can't be said we didn't believe in you. Hmm, do I want Grey Goose or do I want to slum it with some Ketel One. Don't you hate this? I mean, I really actually prefer Ketel One over this French nonsense, but you know, you gotta keep up appearances in my business. Maybe I don't want Vodka. Maybe, well, what's your favorite whiskey? You have a favorite scotch, right? No? No Wild Turkey? Not a Jack man? I got it, Jameson! No? Hmm, hard man to please, Everette Brown.

Listen, let me get to brass tax here. Just cut the fat and get to the chase. We, don't think this is working. Between the two of us. I think, well, I think there are a few problems. Most of it, most of it's. Wait. Do you smell that? I smell, sulfur, smells like. Do you smell that? It's on my fingers. Never mind.

We think it'd be mutually advantageous if we both pursued different....I swear to god I smell smoke. Like, it burns a little. Are my fingernails yellow to you or is it just me? I feel....

Listen, Everette, it's just not working, I, god I can smell your fuging blood. Do you notice that? Ever happen? Like, you can feel a person's heart beating in your...in your pants? Like, it makes you hard? Because, Everette, right now, I just....I kinda wanna....drink your blood.

Listen, this is normal, you know? Like, you want to play for us, the team that drafted you, and I, well, I want to see you lying dead on the ground, with me slurping your bodily fluids from your dislodged aorta. you know, whatever I can get out. Blood mostly, but some phlegm, some flesh, just go nuts, you know? Haha, crazy, right? I.....

What I'm saying is I'm a vampire and now I'm going to kill you /pounce

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Bryce Young has recorded 4 game-winning drives through nine weeks, leading the Carolina Panthers to crucial victories in tight contests. The 12-play, 58-yard clock-killer versus the Packers in Week 9 (16-13 upset). This pace positions him as the team's most clutch performer in years, with a 68.4% success rate on go-ahead drivesalready surpassing many franchise benchmarks early in his career.   Young's early 2025 surge (top-5 league-wide in clutch EPA at 0.28 per dropback) not only outstrips the debuts of Newton (2 in 2011) and Delhomme (1 in 2003) but hints at him climbing this list quickly if the Panthers sustain their wildcard hunt. Data underscores his growth: no other Panther QB hit 4 GWDs before Week 10 in a season.   The energy fans pour into the stadium directly shapes Bryce Young’s performance positive support has been shown to elevate his fourth-quarter efficiency by 12%, strengthening team cohesion and execution under pressure. Criticizing or booing the starting quarterback fractures morale, disrupts focus, and undermines the very resilience needed in clutch moments. When fans stand firmly behind their QB and team, they become a true home-field advantage, amplifying performance and accelerating the path to sustained success. Now are you a Carolina Panther fan or a Panther hater? 
    • Bryce would have extended some plays scrambling with his legs but then again he also has a high number of fumbles so you never know what you're going to get and the way the Bills were getting after Andy (sacked 7 times) it stands to reason Bryce would have been under duress often. What exactly do you want here? I mean I'm going to go by the gameplan I saw after Bryce turned the ball over against GB. Clearly Dave Canales was deliberately trying to limit the opportunities for him to make a catastrophic mistake. And didn't Micah Parsons log zero QB pressures? So with that in mind if you are asking for anyone to argue our offense with Bryce would have had much if any success against that opportunistic motivated Bills defense while we were also splitting carries between Rico and Chuba who had the majority of them which ended up being a situation resulting in a weeks worth of scathing criticism and deservedly so then I'm going to just have to say we can agree to disagree.
×
×
  • Create New...