Matt Ryan's thoughts on facing the Kraken again...

[SmokinwithWilly]

I'm guessing she put her hand on the bed after he stood up and got more than she expected.

[tiger7_88]

We've not only derailed, but slid down a mountainside and slammed headlong into a nitroglycerin plant.

 

 

 

 

NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

 

MOVE ALONG!

 

NOTHING! TO! SEE! HERE!

[GSO_Pantherz]

By the way fellas, in the odd event that you are concerned about leaving a skid on a piece of furniture while receiving oral favors, you may want to see if your partner is willing to give you a blumpkin instead. Problem solved.

You can thank me later.

 

[PhillyB]

I didnt realize incontinence was so prevalent

[jayflip]

I was battling extreme bubbleguts all day at work.

[Gabeking]

You know what's the worst? When you're in a situation where you can't get to a bathroom and your asshole is so irritated and itchy and uncomfortable due to that dry fecal matter that's stuck in there. It's the worst fuging feeling ever.. But that feel you get when you finally get to the bathroom and take that first hard wipe might be better than sex. How is this panther related? Because I'm sure fua shlts his pants on the daily THATS WHY.

[Riverboat Ron]

I'm sure Alice screams and whines for his 60 year old maid to wash his post Chipotle stained Gucci underwear stains threatening to fire her if she didn't do what he wants immediately. If that wasn't bad enough, he sh*ts into his solid gold toilet then proceeds to ride his elevator down to get his maid to wipe him. After that he yells at her to take a picture of his car so he can get back to his life posting on the carolinahuddle.  

[jarhead]

All my undies have permant brown streaks in them that notbing will get out. One time my ex was giving me a big/hj. I was sitting on the edge if her bed and she was on her knees on the floor. Afterwords I stood up and the was a long brown streak on her bed sheet. So embarrassing

Sent from my SCH-I545 using CarolinaHuddle mobile app

And all this time I thought it was only me that left skid marks

[jarhead]

Making white undies is a bad joke on men

[jarhead]

What's the deal with women's asses being so much more cleaner than men's? Is it my ass hair? Because I wear loose boxers, wipe, and then bidet or moist towelette, and skid marks are seemingly unavoidable. My lady wears thongs that are literally up her ass for twelve hours a day and there is nary a blemish.

We have skid marks and they have panty puddin which is just as gross

[MHS831]

Girls don't poop

This is true on many levels.

[MHS831]

And all this time I thought it was only me that left skid marks

 

No, Jar--I am a colleague in this area.  My wife makes it a point to let everyone in the family know that washing my undies is not something she signed for, visually and verbally seeking sympathy and showing her disgust by sarcastically introducing me to a roll of toilet paper and wondering to all what it was I could have eaten that would have resulted in such a travesty.

 

To counter these attacks and to reduce the impact of the evidence, I switched to dark-colored briefs.  She still notices, but I feel better about it.

 

I guess the point is this---we all get skid marks and we do not have Julius Peppers, the Kraken, or Justin Tuck bearing down on us for 3 hours.  So, I give Matt Ryan a pass here,

 

It is a great argument for wearing the black pants though. 

[MHS831]

Solution:  Black Pants

 

I hereby accuse CatMan of premature declaration of the best answer. 

[ed bell]

Matt could and should resort to a manpon in this situation. Half a paper towel, folded in thirds.