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Bad friend

lola

By lola,
in Huddle Lounge

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lola Newbie

lola

Posted
Posted

Question for you guys: if a supposed friend is constantly breaking plans with me, standing me up, but claims that she wants to get together soon, does she hate me? It's like she is purposely trying to make me mad and hurt my feelings. I shouldn't care, but it just pisses me off. This is why I don't have many girl friends....

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Lumps Newbie

Lumps

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Posted

Call her out on it, be honest with people. Tell them that you've noticed they may not have time in their life for you right now and that's ok, but you don't have time to be running in circles. Take a break or tell them no the next few times they want to meet if they are persistent and tell them why you're declining.

When you think they're sincere or apologize give them a chance to come back into your life. If you are stood up or cancelled on at that point wish them the best in life after reminding them you just don't have time for games, then simply cut ties with them for good.

That's what I would do...it's hard to know what to do if you don't know why what's happening is happening. And you simply cannot know that without being honest. You could ask her why she is so flakey too, if you don't already know. Could be something serious going on, you never know.

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The NFL Shield At Midfield Grand Master

The NFL Shield At Midfield

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my wife had a friend a few years ago who was jerking her around like that-making plans and not following through, standing her up, being awkward, etc.  her behavior just kind of inexplicably changed over night.  she was still friendly and bordering on flirty with me which didn't sit well with my wife naturally.  it seemed like she was trying to play head games and it slowly started to boil over.

 

my wife lost her patience, there was an eventual confrontation which the friend did not take well at all, and that was the last of it.  all i learned from it was that i don't understand female social dynamics at all and i just need to worry about keeping the cars running and the yard maintained.

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

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my wife had a friend a few years ago who was jerking her around like that-making plans and not following through, standing her up, being awkward, etc.  her behavior just kind of inexplicably changed over night.  she was still friendly and bordering on flirty with me which didn't sit well with my wife naturally.  it seemed like she was trying to play head games and it slowly started to boil over.

 

my wife lost her patience, there was an eventual confrontation which the friend did not take well at all, and that was the last of it.  all i learned from it was that i don't understand female social dynamics at all and i just need to worry about keeping the cars running and the yard maintained.

 

should we alert zod that a 40 year old man hijacked this account?

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pstall Newbie

pstall

Posted
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my wife had a friend a few years ago who was jerking her around like that-making plans and not following through, standing her up, being awkward, etc. her behavior just kind of inexplicably changed over night. she was still friendly and bordering on flirty with me which didn't sit well with my wife naturally. it seemed like she was trying to play head games and it slowly started to boil over.

my wife lost her patience, there was an eventual confrontation which the friend did not take well at all, and that was the last of it. all i learned from it was that i don't understand female social dynamics at all and i just need to worry about keeping the cars running and the yard maintained.

I hope you don't have daughters. I'm currently in the middle of a hormonal Fukoshima with two teen girls and a wife. If i had no sports or access to power tools i may have become a James Bond super villain.
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SmokinwithWilly Grand Master

SmokinwithWilly

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Don't think she is trying to hurt your feelings. I don't think she gives two poos about your feelings. Next time she wants to make plans tell her you're busy. If she doesn't call you back, then you know for sure.

Of course I'm also male, what the hell do I know about how women think?

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lola Newbie

lola

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I invited her and her son to my daughter's birthday party at Monkey Joe's. She said she was coming and even went so far as to call and ask me what she wanted as a gift. I get a text from her while I'm at the birthday party saying she's getting her taxes done and can't make it. It infuriates me, not only because it was after the party started, but I paid for her child and it was like the millionth time she's cancelled. The way she did it and the excuse she gave seemed so lame and like a blatant attempt at being hurtful. It worked.

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Squirrel Collaborator

Squirrel

Posted
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I invited her and her son to my daughter's birthday party at Monkey Joe's. She said she was coming and even went so far as to call and ask me what she wanted as a gift. I get a text from her while I'm at the birthday party saying she's getting her taxes done and can't make it. It infuriates me, not only because it was after the party started, but I paid for her child and it was like the millionth time she's cancelled. The way she did it and the excuse she gave seemed so lame and like a blatant attempt at being hurtful. It worked.

 

Here my opinion,  Friends come and go but true friends last a lifetime.  Ok after the Hallmark card, If she doesn't want to waste her time being your friend move on their are other people in the world that would make better friends.

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