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Rant- I need to bitch about my wife's family.

Snake

By Snake,
in Huddle Lounge

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Snake Grand Master

Snake

Posted
Posted

So my wife's mother and Aunt decided to grace us with there presents forfor two week and stay in our two bed room house.   They have been here for 3 days and I can already feel my beard turning gray at age 31. Nothing been right to them and instead of letting me know or help they bitch through my wife who makes my life hell because they make it seem like I am not helping them.  Like I'm some kind of mind reader or something. At this moment I'm at work and are super happy to be there because it's a safe haven from all the negative energy that is flowing at my house. I just can't wait till Sunday when the Panthers play what they will say.  I'm sure it's going to be a fight but I'm not missing a playoff game.  fug that. 

 

Any help from veteran married men would be appreciated. 

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jasonluckydog Veteran

jasonluckydog

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Snake said:

So my wife's mother and Aunt decided to grace us with there presents forfor two week and stay in our two bed room house.   They have been here for 3 days and I can already feel my beard turning gray at age 31. Nothing been right to them and instead of letting me know or help they bitch through my wife who makes my life hell because they make it seem like I am not helping them.  Like I'm some kind of mind reader or something. At this moment I'm at work and are super happy to be there because it's a safe haven from all the negative energy that is flowing at my house. I just can't wait till Sunday when the Panthers play what they will say.  I'm sure it's going to be a fight but I'm not missing a playoff game.  fug that. 

 

Any help from veteran married men would be appreciated. 

http://www.avvo.com/divorce-separation-lawyer.html

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Khyber53 Grand Master

Khyber53

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You've got both your mother-in-law and your aunt visiting? If you like your wife, and hope to keep her, you aren't going to be able to go after this like you are out to slay a couple of trolls. You start that and you'll have three enemies on your hands, and one that will stay long after they are gone.

So what do you do?

You get smart and call your wife this afternoon and say, "Hey honey, how about we take your Mom and Aunt out tonight. Where do you think they'd like to go eat?" Then you make reservations. Then you take them, and you act like a perfect gentleman. You listen to their stories and ask them for more. You pay attention to them and really work at enjoying being around them. You hold doors for them, say Yes ma'am, and help them with their coats. 

Then, later in the evening, you lean over to your mother-in-law and say, "I just want to thank you for the daughter you raised. She really is just a wonderful person and I am blessed to have her."

Then Saturday morning you get up and take them out to the best local breakfast place and afterwards send them and your wife out for shopping, While they are gone, clean the frikkin house and do the laundry. Go out of your way to be the shining example of what a husband can do. Run them out on the town again for dinner, come back home and play some cards or just have conversation and coffee. At the end of the evening, after you've been charming, say how much you've enjoyed the evening and how you must excuse yourself tomorrow to watch your team play football in the playoffs. Invite them to watch and if they say, I don't really like football, remind your wife of a movie she's been wanting to see.

If you kill them with kindness, put on a heck of show about how good a husband you are, then compliment the mom on how well she did with her daughter and then make sure they are having fun, they'll either love you for it, or your wife will at least be blown away and work with you on it.

But if you get all pissy and wet blanket everything, you are in for a cold, lonely time -- one you are sure to revisit often.

If you win two out of three of those ladies over, you have it made.

 

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thefuzz Mentor

thefuzz

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Where do you live, and where is the nearest hotel/extended stay?

 

That said, I would just separate myself from them.  Khyber is probably right, but I'm not missing a minute of any of the 4 games this weekend unless there is another death in the family.

And by the way, why in the name of everything holy did your wife, and hopefully you agree to a MIL staying with you, with a guest, for 2 weeks.

If my MIL wants to come and stay for the weekend, my wife makes sure it's totally cool with me, and even then the MIL brings beer for me.

You may need to get control of the situation, but I fear it may already be too late.

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Anybodyhome Grand Master

Anybodyhome

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Khyber53 said:

You've got both your mother-in-law and your aunt visiting? If you like your wife, and hope to keep her, you aren't going to be able to go after this like you are out to slay a couple of trolls. You start that and you'll have three enemies on your hands, and one that will stay long after they are gone.

So what do you do?

You get smart and call your wife this afternoon and say, "Hey honey, how about we take your Mom and Aunt out tonight. Where do you think they'd like to go eat?" Then you make reservations. Then you take them, and you act like a perfect gentleman. You listen to their stories and ask them for more. You pay attention to them and really work at enjoying being around them. You hold doors for them, say Yes ma'am, and help them with their coats. 

Then, later in the evening, you lean over to your mother-in-law and say, "I just want to thank you for the daughter you raised. She really is just a wonderful person and I am blessed to have her."

Then Saturday morning you get up and take them out to the best local breakfast place and afterwards send them and your wife out for shopping, While they are gone, clean the frikkin house and do the laundry. Go out of your way to be the shining example of what a husband can do. Run them out on the town again for dinner, come back home and play some cards or just have conversation and coffee. At the end of the evening, after you've been charming, say how much you've enjoyed the evening and how you must excuse yourself tomorrow to watch your team play football in the playoffs. Invite them to watch and if they say, I don't really like football, remind your wife of a movie she's been wanting to see.

If you kill them with kindness, put on a heck of show about how good a husband you are, then compliment the mom on how well she did with her daughter and then make sure they are having fun, they'll either love you for it, or your wife will at least be blown away and work with you on it.

But if you get all pissy and wet blanket everything, you are in for a cold, lonely time -- one you are sure to revisit often.

If you win two out of three of those ladies over, you have it made.

 

Way too much work and effort to put into a MIL/aunt relationship when they already believe the poor guy is as useless as a hairball. 

 

 

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Khyber53 Grand Master

Khyber53

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25 minutes ago, Anybodyhome said:

Way too much work and effort to put into a MIL/aunt relationship when they already believe the poor guy is as useless as a hairball. 

 

 

Fix it and it's clear sailing. Don't fix it and it'll dog you for your entire married life.

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Snake Grand Master

Snake

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57 minutes ago, thefuzz said:

Where do you live, and where is the nearest hotel/extended stay?

 

That said, I would just separate myself from them.  Khyber is probably right, but I'm not missing a minute of any of the 4 games this weekend unless there is another death in the family.

And by the way, why in the name of everything holy did your wife, and hopefully you agree to a MIL staying with you, with a guest, for 2 weeks.

If my MIL wants to come and stay for the weekend, my wife makes sure it's totally cool with me, and even then the MIL brings beer for me.

You may need to get control of the situation, but I fear it may already be too late.

Situation is fuged because she is in bad health and wife wants to spend as much time as possible with her mother.  They both live in NY so at least they don't come by too often.  

26 minutes ago, Khyber53 said:

Fix it and it's clear sailing. Don't fix it and it'll dog you for your entire married life.

Yea I have tried all those things and with most people it works. Wife is happy right now but it's a new problem every hour. I sent them to Charleston for two day so I get some peace and quiet.  The wife was happy about that so hopefully I can devise a new game plan by then. 

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