I am Farticus

[N1kkadeemuz]

Fart, pass gas, flatulence, shat yourself, pooted, ripping ass or whatever other great names you can come up with.

I feel like I fart a lot, even though the average is upwards of 15 times a day. I take it as a badge of honor to have the nastiest, foulest smelling gas sometimes.

It is usually the most potent when my diet and exercise are on point.

Best fart story: GF and me go to Myrtle for a weekend. Been together a year, she's never farted in front of me. After some drinking, eating, drinking, dancing and sex we pass out. Then in the morning I wake up to a potent stench, knowing my smell I suspect it was her, then a rumbling thunderous fart escapes her bowels...holy sh*t. She's completely embarassed because she had apparently been doing it in my sleep, but this time I was awake. For over a year she had been hiding her farts from me, hilarious.

Worst fart story: When your deployed the bathrooms aka cadillacs are separate from most buildings. It's hot, really hot and i'm waiting on some laundry to finish drying. Wearing my super cool AF pt gear, minding my own business I get the urge to rip one. Mistake, it's a demonic shart, which explodes into my shorts. I have to uncomfortably pass 20 or so people to get my clothes and shower stuff to clean myself. I know fuggers could smell it too.

1000th post...

[g5jamz]

Rule number 2 (there are 3 rules) to all men over 40: Never trust a fart

[4Corners]

tl;dr

[Ja Rhule]

Al Gore will fug you up.

[Guest Irv]

I am dongiveafug from the planet fugatis

[Jangler]

this will give you the worst gas ever, go outside every 10 minutes bad.

[R0CKnR0LLA]

i guess that makes me Farticus Maximus

15 times a day on average? i farted like 20 times just writing this post

[GSQUARED]

I farted 4 times while reading this thread

[jasonluckydog]

if a girl farts near me it's over.

[PhillyB]

i have been particularly gassy over the last couple of days. the humidity of the room goes up by double digits anytime i spend more than five minutes in it.

and bear creek ANYTHING is the worst for floating air biscuits.