Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Atlanta, GA: The Sebaceous Cyst of the Southeast


SCP

Recommended Posts

Getcha’ some MRSA Bay. What a damn night Panther Nation! It must really suck to have to walk out of that stadium dressed like an ass pirate after a blow-out loss to my Panthers. Seriously Buc fan, what’s going through your mind when you are at home in your bathroom using make-up remover to get the fake pirate beard off your face after a loss? Your kids are looking at you like you’re some douche and your wife refuses to wash your puffy pirate shirt for the next game. It’s just sad. Anyway, thanks for getting us above .500 and those fake cannons sounded awesome bros.

Now we have to turn our focus to I-85 south and the proverbial shithole of the South. It’s fitting that when reviewing submissions for the new Falcon stadium, Arthur Blank approved a design resembling a puckered sphincter muscle. It’s inspiring when architecture can tell a story about the city you’re visiting and its something that I appreciate when I travel. The precision and excellence of the architecture in ancient Greece implores you to appreciate the workmanship and pride of the Greeks. The skyscrapers reaching to the heavens in New York City that stretch the limits of man’s ability to design and construct speak to the relentless pursuit to achieve greatness. Then you have Atlanta. What a better way to tell the story of Atlanta and the Falcons than by choosing a big butthole to be the landmark sport venue in the heart of downtown. Speaks volumes, no? When that thing is finished in three years they should hand out a commemorative roll of toilet paper and a tube of Preparation H to the first 20,000 fans in attendance. I assume the stadium naming rights will go to Depends Undergarments or Ex-Lax since the Falcons and Matt Ryan poo the bed so much when it counts.

We have a local Charlottean that’s popped up on the message board of late who claims hardcore Atlanta Falcons fanhood. I thought I’d provide some stats since his Matt Ryan jersey probably still has the Kohls tags on it. The Falcons have been around for almost 50 years and their overall record is 312–402–6. They are 7-12 in playoff appearances and have been to one Super Bowl. My Panthers are 135-159-0 and are 6-4 in playoff games and have also been to one Super Bowl. So shut your piehole when you speak about the Falcons being this superior franchise. The Falcons haven’t done squat. Matt Ryan and Mike Smith choke harder than Andre Rison teaching a finance class. You claim "Dirty Bird" and now "Rise Up" as battle cries. Rise Up actually makes sense since so many Falcon fans are used to hearing "Please Rise" when the judge enters the court room at their arraignment hearing.

Come next Sunday after the Shitbirds lose to the Cardinals in the desert, they will make the trip up to Charlotte. Thank God Fua has been inactive but Atlanta’s o-line is so bad Fua could probably make a highlight reel film for his Canadian Football auditions. If CJ’s groin proves to be healthy I expect our front 7 to wreak havoc on Howdie Doodie all fugging day. That ugly ass Julio Jones is out so shut down White and bust Gonzalez in the mouth at the LOS and things should go well. Atlanta’s defense doesn’t have poo to stop our dynamic QB and this offense. Suck it Falcon fans. 85 South bitches.

Panthers 28

Falcons 21

post-332-0-63911400-1382715680_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • I see they blamed Slavin for the goal like I did. 
    • See this is the problem, you say "can't get off the line quick" and "can't separate quick" but in reality it's "he can get off the line better and create more separation" which are two completely different things. If he couldn't get off the line or separate, he wouldn't have put up the numbers he did and end up a Top 10 pick. But he can get better, and maybe more accurately, consistent with them both, and that will take his game to the next level.  These are things that are also much easier to improve once you get to the NFL than things like being a poor route runner or having bad hands, two of his strengths. Thinking he can't get open in the short passing game also shows you haven't watched enough tape on him, as he was used in that role so much in college with little issue getting open and making plays. And him not using his physicality as much isn't even something that hurts his game because he's so much more agile than a player of his size should be, which he used to his advantage.  Instead of throwing passes where he'd go up and box out a player like a TE or Mike Evans does, they use his athleticism and put the ball in places that only he can get to it, and he usually does (and yes, he'll still be able to do that against NFL DB's with his catch radius). But now that he's in the NFL, I'd like to see him get stronger and add that to his game because it also will help him take his game to another level. As I've said before, if he doesn't improve on those things at all, I think he's a Top 25 WR in this league, he's already that good.  But I think he'll improve on those things and be a perennial Top 10 WR and in his prime is considered and perform like Top 5 guy in some years. My expectations for him this year at 800 yards and 8 TDs (although I do think he'll get to 10 TDs) with a real chance at getting to 1,000.  But those expectations are because I think Thielen will lead the team in yards with close to 1k and XL/Coker each end up in the 500-600 range themselves, just too many mouths to feed this year for a rookie to dominate yardage, especially if we're running the ball well again. But if Thielen can't stay healthy or puts up sub 750 yards, then yea, my expectations for T-Mac likely shift to getting to 1k as a rookie.
    • Svech only 1 goal behind the guy they've pretty much already given the Conn Smythe to...
×
×
  • Create New...