Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Atlanta, GA: The Sebaceous Cyst of the Southeast

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

Getcha’ some MRSA Bay. What a damn night Panther Nation! It must really suck to have to walk out of that stadium dressed like an ass pirate after a blow-out loss to my Panthers. Seriously Buc fan, what’s going through your mind when you are at home in your bathroom using make-up remover to get the fake pirate beard off your face after a loss? Your kids are looking at you like you’re some douche and your wife refuses to wash your puffy pirate shirt for the next game. It’s just sad. Anyway, thanks for getting us above .500 and those fake cannons sounded awesome bros.

Now we have to turn our focus to I-85 south and the proverbial shithole of the South. It’s fitting that when reviewing submissions for the new Falcon stadium, Arthur Blank approved a design resembling a puckered sphincter muscle. It’s inspiring when architecture can tell a story about the city you’re visiting and its something that I appreciate when I travel. The precision and excellence of the architecture in ancient Greece implores you to appreciate the workmanship and pride of the Greeks. The skyscrapers reaching to the heavens in New York City that stretch the limits of man’s ability to design and construct speak to the relentless pursuit to achieve greatness. Then you have Atlanta. What a better way to tell the story of Atlanta and the Falcons than by choosing a big butthole to be the landmark sport venue in the heart of downtown. Speaks volumes, no? When that thing is finished in three years they should hand out a commemorative roll of toilet paper and a tube of Preparation H to the first 20,000 fans in attendance. I assume the stadium naming rights will go to Depends Undergarments or Ex-Lax since the Falcons and Matt Ryan poo the bed so much when it counts.

We have a local Charlottean that’s popped up on the message board of late who claims hardcore Atlanta Falcons fanhood. I thought I’d provide some stats since his Matt Ryan jersey probably still has the Kohls tags on it. The Falcons have been around for almost 50 years and their overall record is 312–402–6. They are 7-12 in playoff appearances and have been to one Super Bowl. My Panthers are 135-159-0 and are 6-4 in playoff games and have also been to one Super Bowl. So shut your piehole when you speak about the Falcons being this superior franchise. The Falcons haven’t done squat. Matt Ryan and Mike Smith choke harder than Andre Rison teaching a finance class. You claim "Dirty Bird" and now "Rise Up" as battle cries. Rise Up actually makes sense since so many Falcon fans are used to hearing "Please Rise" when the judge enters the court room at their arraignment hearing.

Come next Sunday after the Shitbirds lose to the Cardinals in the desert, they will make the trip up to Charlotte. Thank God Fua has been inactive but Atlanta’s o-line is so bad Fua could probably make a highlight reel film for his Canadian Football auditions. If CJ’s groin proves to be healthy I expect our front 7 to wreak havoc on Howdie Doodie all fugging day. That ugly ass Julio Jones is out so shut down White and bust Gonzalez in the mouth at the LOS and things should go well. Atlanta’s defense doesn’t have poo to stop our dynamic QB and this offense. Suck it Falcon fans. 85 South bitches.

Panthers 28

Falcons 21

post-332-0-63911400-1382715680_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • frankw
      Deebo wants out of SF, and our current odds are high

      By frankw · Posted

      This is from 5 months ago. It was one or the other. Trade for one or draft one. We apparently called the Jets about Wilson. We also talked to the Seahawks about Metcalf. Drafting our own guy was the best course of action given the required investment. Regardless now is the time for Bryce Young to produce. We are fourth amongst all teams in cap spending on the OL. Back to back first round picks at WR and multiple young TE draft picks now. Very solid and respectable backfield. New pieces across the defense. The time is now.
    • Basbear
      Get ready for ‘SUPER MEN: The inside story of the 2015 Carolina Panthers’

      By Basbear · Posted

      That was just the worst time to have their worst game of the season. One key deal was the broncos guess the Panthers would NOT change any plays or flow to the game. Another key point overlook that bronco defense was truly one of the best in the NFL history. It was the best defense the Panthers faced that year, by far. They were not ready for it, but broncos were ready for the Panthers. Mix in that bad luck, poor refs showcase, and this is the golden boys last game........ Panthers needed to win by 20 and the broncos defense was not going to allow that.  Panthers were the faviotes and I believe they also thought that it was going to easier than them destorying NFC playoff teams as they marched to the SB. I've heard darin Gantt say the play calls were to give remmers help, but for some reason the team never did it. During the year they never had that problem, so maybe never practiced giving help via TE/RB, or WR chip. Cam was superman that year, no need for any adjustments...... Until you meet a legendary defense with studs at all levels, Think about it, Peyton was throwing wingless dunks for the whole season, the defense had to carry his corpse to the SB. That's how good they were, no many defense are able to get to the playoffs and win a SB without decent QB play. If you recall the beginning of that denfese took Tim Teblows and his non-throwing arse to the playoffs couple years before. That's insane the level of defense needed to overcome.   
    • TD alt
      Teddy Checkdown in trouble

      By TD alt · Posted

      Who cares if he paid for such small benefits out of his own pocket? The NCAA is a joke. They need to be offering such anyway, especially for Uber rides (which actually seems like a good idea).
×
×
  • Create New...