When

[chubs2496]

I might have a dreaded future with this according to my dad. Just last week my dad was in a dollar store parking lot. He had to go. Said it couldn't wait. Literally squatted down, did his business, took off his shirt and wiped. Right there in front of everybody. Can't make this poo up lol.

[Hotsauce]

I got hammered at a bar in college. The whole night I was macking on a smoking hot girl, then towards the end of the night she tells me she is ready for me to "take her home". So I decide to goto the bathroom first and piss. When I walked in, a guy I knew was pissing in the bathroom too, just a few urinals down. Drunkingly I start bragging about how I was going to go home and make sweet love to this college coed. Instead of paying attention to where I was peeing, my penis ended up aiming directly at my pants (I was wearing kackis). I didn't even notice it until my entire pant leg from my crotch to the shoe was soaked with piss. There was zero chance I would be able to hide it, the light tan pant leg was now dark brown. As soon as I walked back out into the bar, heads were turning, people were laughing and pointing, it was awful. To cap it all off, it must have grossed out the lady (duh), because she ended the night after I got to her apartment.

[Bronn]

When I was like 6 or 7. I dreamed I was taking a deuce at night. I got up to go watch Saturday morning cartoons, sat on the floor, and.... squish! Oh, it wasn't a dream.

I tried to take a shower before anyone else woke up. Yeah that didn't work out. Took my underwear off and it was all over the floor. Cleaning the whole bathroom and bathtub is a lot for a 6/7 year old to handle. I made a lot of noise and woke everyone up. Everybody knew.

 

lmgdao! This exact thing happened to me, only worse...

I was in the first or second grade, and I fell asleep in the living room floor one night... I dreamed I was taking a deuce in the bathroom and woke up to find out that I had pooped my pants... Embarrassed, I got up to get ready for school (I was running late for the bus) and did a rush job that involved cleaning my crusty ass with a rag and tossing the underwear in the trash in favor of a new pair... The problem was, I didn't clean myself good enough, and I had crusty ass most of the morning (and I smelled like poo)... I kept blaming this other kid in class and making fun of him for stinking, lmao... The first chance I had, I got to the bathroom at school and did a paper towel and soap cleanup job to get the rest of the poo flakes out of my ass... I tossed those underwear in the trash and freeballed the rest of the day like a boss, all fresh and clean like...

[Hotsauce]

Also, 2 other quick college stories...

A chick I had a class with texted me to come to her 21at party at a bar. I met her later that night, by this point she was wasted. Her friends were cock blocking all of the other guys that were hitting on her, except me. I take her back to her apartment, we start fooling around in her bed, and she tells me her fantasy for her 21st Bday was to "get hammered at a bar, come back with a dude, and piss her bed". I can't make this stuff up...I hit it and bounced, no piss for me!

I ran into the best friend of a girl I used to date late night at a bar. I always thought she was hot, but never approached her bc I dated her friend. We end up going back to my place. Late in the morning, let's say around 4am, I get woken up by someone tapping on my shoulder. I turn on the light, and this chick pukes all over my back, and into my bed! I screamed and ran out of the room to get a towel, when I got back into the room, she is on all fours, puking up a storm on my sheets. I pick her naked self up, put her in the bathroom, and shut the door. I woke up the 4 other frat bros I lived with in the house making all this noise. When I went back into the bathroom, she was passed out, naked, with her face directly on the toilet seat (gross)! After a few laughs, we get her dressed, and I sent her home in a cab. Now I think she is a US Marshall! I never spoke to her ever again after that.

[Ja Rhule]

I got hammered at a bar in college. The whole night I was macking on a smoking hot girl, then towards the end of the night she tells me she is ready for me to "take her home". So I decide to goto the bathroom first and piss. When I walked in, a guy I knew was pissing in the bathroom too, just a few urinals down. Drunkingly I start bragging about how I was going to go home and make sweet love to this college coed. Instead of paying attention to where I was peeing, my penis ended up aiming directly at my pants (I was wearing kackis). I didn't even notice it until my entire pant leg from my crotch to the shoe was soaked with piss. There was zero chance I would be able to hide it, the light tan pant leg was now dark brown. As soon as I walked back out into the bar, heads were turning, people were laughing and pointing, it was awful. To cap it all off, it must have grossed out the lady (duh), because she ended the night after I got to her apartment.

Done it before. Next time soak all pants and people will have no idea. It will look darker and wi be dry within 2 hours.

[Inimicus]

15 minutes ago.

 

 

Just felt like doing it and so I did.

[C47]

This thread delivered...

[hepcat]

I remember it well.  I was 13.  I was sitting at the family computer doing my homework one afternoon after school.  Felt like I had a fart coming so I cocked to the side to let it rip.  Except it wasn't a fart, it was pure liquid poo.  I was shocked.  I sprinted upstairs to the bathroom and stripped off my pants, cleaned myself up.  It had gotten all over my underwear and my jeans.  The bathroom was about 10 feet from my bedroom, so I had to pick my moment to run to my bedroom to get a new pair of pants.  I cracked the door and saw the coast was clear.  Made a beeline for my room and shut the door.  Left my poo-pants in the bathroom.  Slipped into a clean pair of pants, went back to the bathroom to get the dirty ones.  Snuck outside to the garage to wash my pants in the sink.  As I'm getting ready to throw them into the wash, my dad pulls into the garage getting home from work.  Asks me what the hell I'm doing out here washing a pair of jeans.  Quickly finds out I poo myself.  Embarrassing moment, but I'm not ashamed of it at all.

 

Another funny story I have was from when my band played a music festival last year.  Big camping music festival.  They've got a huge line of porto-potties near the campsite.  One morning I head over to take a piss and the stall I pick has a pair of pants IN THE TOILET.  They are covered in poo, there's clearly stuff still in the pockets...a real mess.  As I'm walking out, a guy asks "Hey man, my "friend" says he left his pants in one of the stalls, have you seen them?"  I point him to the stall I just came out of.  Yea buddy, your "friend" poo his pants and threw them in the porto-potty.  

[TNPanther]

This thread is so timely!

When's the last time for me you ask? About an hour ago, during my marketing exam. I couldn't leave and come back during the exam or else take a zero, so I had to sit there and bear the pain, and I had some slight anal leakage. Probably one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. And on top of it I know I probably made a bad grade. I think it happened because I ate jimmy john's last night.

[Doyle]

This thread is so timely!

When's the last time for me you ask? About an hour ago, during my marketing exam. I couldn't leave and come back during the exam or else take a zero, so I had to sit there and bear the pain, and I had some slight anal leakage. Probably one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. And on top of it I know I probably made a bad grade. I think it happened because I ate jimmy john's last night.