Boundaries With Parents

[The Saltman]

My parents have pretty much become lunatics ever since I got married and had kids.

I mean I have my own family and you can't keep guilt tripping me because you can't come over whenever you want and get upset when I say no to things.

It's like they don't realize that now my own families priorities are more important to me in the grand scheme of things than them.

Anybody else have this same dilemma?

[88 Bronco]

My parents have pretty much become lunatics ever since I got married and had kids.

I mean I have my own family and you can't keep guilt tripping me because you can't come over whenever you want and get upset when I say no to things.

It's like they don't realize that now my own families priorities are more important to me in the grand scheme of things than them.

Anybody else have this same dilemma?

 

Nope, my parents live +500 miles away and dislike my wife. My inlaws used to be like that, but I they've calmed down since I went back to college.

[Darth Biscuit]

That's a tough one.

Both my parents and hers were always pretty cool about such and no guilt trips...

Probably need to talk with them serious about it.

[Panthro]

My parents have pretty much become lunatics ever since I got married and had kids.

I mean I have my own family and you can't keep guilt tripping me because you can't come over whenever you want and get upset when I say no to things.

It's like they don't realize that now my own families priorities are more important to me in the grand scheme of things than them.

Anybody else have this same dilemma?

Yep I deal with this weekly.

My wife (her on some weekends) and I both work so our time is limited with her so when we are together we want to spend time with just us

I get it but yeah.

[h0llywood]

While creepy I think it's only natural to love you child regardless how old they become.

 

When I came home from my last deployment my mom wanted me to go home with her and sleep with her in bed so she could hold me. As creepy and disgusting as that sounds, I get it, a mother wanted to hold her son. Of course she got pissed off when I wanted to go home to my wife.

[Ja Rhule]

My parents live block down the street but they almost never come by or call me. I stop by their house every week to have beer with my paps and I call my mom 3-4 times a week.

[Panthro]

Could they have set fire to your house?

[Scrumtrilescent]

Parents need to be far enough away so that they can't just drop by, but near enough so it isn't a huge production when they visit.  

[Panthro]

I get the Irish guilt

Or

We can watch her. ... just drop her off. ...45 minutes away

[The Saltman]

I get the

You let the kids stay with your inlaws more than us guilt which is total bullshit.

[Jase]

I get the same thing, complaints of the in-laws seeing them more. The reason is that the in laws take the initiative to come see us and maybe buy lunch.

I also get the "you aren't raising the children Christian enough, even though neither of them are old enough to read yet", yay.

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[Anybodyhome]

The best things that ever happened in my marriage:

1. Keep in-laws at least 3 hours away

2. Be forever thankful my brother-in-law had 2 sons of his own after I got married and the wife and I never wanted any kids.

[pstall]

I dont think its always guilt as much as passive aggressive form of communication.

Many people dont know how to be direct or honest and flexible at the same time.

I have a grandmother who tries to do this but I don't play the same game. I said we cant make it and thats the end of it.

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[Kevin Greene]

Unfortunately (lately) Mom lives a mile away.

Huge issue right now with 16 year old daughter who isn't 7 anymore and doesn't want to hang with her and assorted butthurts.

This is the only Grand Child, Bro never procreated.