How Dave Gettlemen helped me master Valentine's Day

[MHS831]

(I am risking abuse here, but I thought you all might enjoy this during the offseason.  Besides, it is as good as most of the other threads)

 

Valanetine's day, Anniversaries, Birthdays--what do they all have in common?  Opportunities for me to screw up.  For me, One is in February, the next is in April, and another in August.  So I spend most of the warm-weather months in the doghouse or on the couch. Not any more, thanks to Dave Gettlemen!

1. Valentine's Day is a lot like the draft:  Don't think of 2015, think of 2016.  By planning a year in advance, it helps me to realize that spending too much in 2015 only makes 2016 more challenging.  By keeping the gesture of love modest and simplistic (translation: inexpensive), you never have to worry about disappointing the following year, assuming of course, there is one.  Still, you have to take that chance.  There is nothing worse than having a woman love you for your materialism on the outside when you are hating your last-year self on the inside.  Do not work against your future self-keep the bar low.  

2. Respect the cap.  Sure, it is great to fall in love and spend big bucks on people you love, but remember that Valentine contracts are back loaded.  You are always happy in the beginning, but when the tread wears off the tires and the person you love starts showing signs of aging, paying more than before is going to be a hard pill to swallow.  A simple rule here: You are paying for future production and not past performance.  

3. Shop at the Dollar Store and Tah-get:  Again, why shop at the high dollar stores when you can get production at a huge discount?  I guarantee those cocoa trees and silk worms did not know or care what store they were producing chocolate or panties for--neither should you.  In fact, you might luck out and find a box of chocolates wrapped in some exotic underwear for $9.99 at Staples or something.  Of course, you get the small box, and if she asks why, you tell her "So the underwear will fit when you are done."  Thanks Dave!

4. Remember, "offense scores points, defense wins championships."  We are trying to score points and disregard championships.  Rings in this arena are usually a sign of decreased playing time and, in some cases, defeat.  Scoring is all that matters, so be offensive.  I plan on it. 

I thought I would share my newly-found wisdom with you guys so you can tweak your strategy this year.  Forget the Marty Hurney approach--emptying the bank account for what you already have, or trading what you have for lesser talent.  Go Gettlemen, and follow his advice and you can't go wrong.

[Mr. Scot]

There's an attention grabbing title.

[SmokinwithWilly]

Or just tell her that you're saving up to get her one really awesome future present, like a cruise or something. That way if the tires fall off, you still have a stash of cash to throw a "welcome back to bachelorhood" party. 

[Cary Kollins]

 = sex god

[MHS831]

I have a feeling that a bunch of guys living in their Moms' basements and existing for 9 hours per day behind an assumed name in cyber space are not going to crack the code here.  But I tried.

[Jangler]

no buttsecks?

[propagandamachine]

I Remember one wall street analyst saying - ahem * athletes are a depreciating asset : you can only take too many hits to your body.

I'll say this though : Hahahahahhaha

Gettlemagic reminded us one important thing with Kony - that anyone is replaceable.

At some point Hardy , Charles Johnson were bench warmers.

Just don't neglect that position

[t96]

I don't do Valentine's Day. May go out to dinner or something like that but no gifts or any lovey dovey ga ga bullshit.

[Cary Kollins]

I took the Gettleman approach this year and "let Steve Smith go" ie. I euthanized her old cat.

 

Happy Valentine's Day sweetie! You'll thank me later.

[Cary Kollins]

In all seriousness, great points MHS on how to apply Gettleisms to everyday life.

Basically, live smart and within your means. Play to the time honored strengths that have produced winners for decades and you'll be alright.

[Montsta]

If you can work in a few bup bup bups in the bedroom and record it I'll PayPal you $5.

[Khaki Lackey]

I thought you were gonna say you released your girl because the value just wasn't there.

[Montsta]

I thought you were gonna say you released your girl because the value just wasn't there.

If me and my wife ever get divorced I'm gonna do it Gettleman-Hakeem Nicks style and tell her I think she's a better fit on another team.

[Ship]

a handmade card is like a UDFA making the roster and giving you decent production from a position of need.