2015 Carolina Huddle Member Draft Profiles

[SCP]

Panthro

40 YARD DASH: 12.45 SEC

BENCH PRESS: 2 REPS

VERTICAL JUMP: 2.5 INCH

BROAD JUMP: DNQ

3 CONE DRILL: 4.5 MINUTES

20 YARD SHUTTLE: 6 MINUTES

STRENGTHS: Can sell a ketchup Popsicle to a lady in white gloves. A dancing bear that can kick slide in a pair of Sperry Topsiders with the best of them. His use of cargo shorts increases his ability to carry multiple items at one time. Lacks initial punch unless served ranch dressing then it's on. Rumored to be a two sport athlete who is hell on the defensive boards and is not scared to shoot the trey with a pick-up hoops game on the line.

WEAKNESSES: Disregards the validity of the boneless buffalo wing. Can get side tracked and exploit an expense report during weekday lunch "meetings". Affinity for Members Only jacket can have a negative impact on cornhole bag tossing accuracy at times. Refuses to cold call on Friday's.

DRAFT PROJECTION: Round 1 or 2

CFL PLAYER COMPARISON: Lindon Gaydosh

[OnlyPantherFaninMaine]

Yes. Great thread. 

[OnlyPantherFaninMaine]

PanthersUnited:

 

Strengths: None

 

Weaknesses: "Should Rivera just be let go at the bye? This isn't a Rivera bashing thread, this isn't a "omg fire Rivera now thread." This is me getting your thoughts. Our 1st four games consist of ALL losing teams from last year, two of those teams are so bad they have top 5 picks in the draft, so keep in mind that for us to be under .500 we would have to lode to two teams that have top 5 picks as well as another losing team from last year." -PanthersUnited 22 April 2015: 11:23am

 

Draft projection: Priority UDFA

 

Player Comparison: Sione Fua

[Kevin Greene]

SCP:

 

STRENGTHS: Can travel across country on a moments notice and close sale on whatever product currently is overstocked in your warehouse saving the wrath of the fricking bean counters to all in the Division.

 

Does this so effiiciently he still has time to seek out the local's favorite hangouts to sample the popular fare and grog and report back on same to an attentive Huddle mob. .

 

Before leaving town is sure to deposit an epic dump and on a really good day use that time to completely eviscerate the Panther's next opponents leaving them lying on a heap as if curb stomped by an unruly Baltimore crowd.

 

 

WEAKNESSES: Bad knees from years in the trenches protecting his QB and clearing lanes for his Running Backs.

 

DRAFT PROJECTION: 1st round fodder, several teams clamoring to move up to grab this phenom.

 

NFL Player Comparison: This unique talent should go to a top tier team with a Head Coach capable of maximizing all his skills while SCP creates his own brand.

[t96]

JEREMY IGO:

 

Strengths: Boobs

 

Weaknesses: ……

 

Draft Projection: 1st overall

 

Player Comparison: None

[SCP]

JEREMY IGO:

Strengths: Boobs

Weaknesses: ……

Draft Projection: 1st overall

Player Comparison: None

Player comparison could be Doug Flutie.

[Mr. Scot]

Player comparison could be Doug Flutie.

Marques Anderson.

Never heard if him? He's a journeyman safety that played on different teams from 2002 to 2005.

Why him? Because after leaving the NFL, he took up...photography.

[SCP]

I'm kind of disappoint this thread didn't deliver :-(

[Donald LaFell]

Boneless Wings are kinda gross though. For my system I would consider Panthro's weakness a strength.

[Carolina Cajun]

I'm not clever enough to do this, but man, I approve this thread tremendously.

[nctarheel0619]

I'm kind of disappoint this thread didn't deliver :-(

Meh, I enjoyed it.  

[R0CKnR0LLA]

Boneless wings are just chicken nuggets masquerading as wings. Don't fall for the boneless wing propaganda guys.

[Darth Biscuit]

Jase

40 YARD DASH: 7.5 SEC
BENCH PRESS: 6 REPS
SQUAT:  Couldn't because some dude was curling in the squat rack

STRENGTHS: Snarky commentary and insightful barbs thrown at every turn.  Sends excellent newds and can rate feet in 1.2 seconds of seeing them.

WEAKNESSES: Won't ban Hawk despite repeated requests.  Often talks over people's heads and relies entirely too much on his TI-84

DRAFT PROJECTION: Round 3

 

[SCP]

"... some dude was curling in the squat rack"

 

LMFAO