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Which one of you turds is this?


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Waiting For A Turd Like You -

So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long

Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time

When you love something, when you love something

It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too

Maybe I'm wrong, won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong

This heart of mine has been hurt before, this time I wanna be sure

I've been waiting for some turds like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting for some turds like you, your baconess will make me cream

I've been waiting for some turds to make me feel alive

Yeah, waiting for some turds like you to come into my life

You're so good, when we make tummy love it's understood

It's more than a taste or a word can say

Only in dreams could it be this way

When you love something, yeah, really love something

Now I know it's right, from the moment I wake up with indigestion till deep in the night

There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than tasting you tenderly

I've been waiting for some turds like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting for some turds like you, your baconess will make me cream

I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive

Yeah, waiting for some turds l like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting, waiting for you, ooh, I've been waiting

I've been waiting

(I've been waiting for some turds like you, I've been waiting)

Won't you come into my belly?

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Waiting For A Turd Like You -

So long, I've been looking too hard, I've been waiting too long

Sometimes I don't know what I will find, I only know it's a matter of time

When you love something, when you love something

It feels so right, so warm and true, I need to know if you feel it too

Maybe I'm wrong, won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong

This heart of mine has been hurt before, this time I wanna be sure

I've been waiting for some turds like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting for some turds like you, your baconess will make me cream

I've been waiting for some turds to make me feel alive

Yeah, waiting for some turds like you to come into my life

You're so good, when we make tummy love it's understood

It's more than a taste or a word can say

Only in dreams could it be this way

When you love something, yeah, really love something

Now I know it's right, from the moment I wake up with indigestion till deep in the night

There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than tasting you tenderly

I've been waiting for some turds like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting for some turds like you, your baconess will make me cream

I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive

Yeah, waiting for some turds l like you to come into my belly

I've been waiting, waiting for you, ooh, I've been waiting

I've been waiting

(I've been waiting for some turds like you, I've been waiting)

Won't you come into my belly?

Worst. Post. Ever.

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    • This was soooo spot on about everything from the board environment to the QB guru extremist terrible takes. I wish more people on this board would elevate their energy and knowledge so we could have a fun board again. Cheers to better Panther Fan Culture.
    • Give me Mitchell Evans over T Sanders in this run heavy offense any day of the week. 
    • What's up gents, the OGs remember me, the guy who single-handedly gave the Panthers the greatest uniform in history moniker. Not too long after that I got involved with Pro Football Focus (pre-Collinsworth acquisition) and ended up taking backseat here to preserve some objectivity. But from a distance I noticed a lot. After the end of the Cam era this place devolved into the most un-fun, petty, negative cesspool of whining and bitching that has ever graced the internet. The worst part of it all is that the level of discussion turned into the most ill-informed, hot-take, unnuanced crap, rife with people talking out of their posteriors as if they have any clue about what they are watching. Once you get into the professional side of the sport and actual film rooms, you start to understand there's an absurd number of moving parts to pretty much every snap and the details you are privy to are truly only half the picture. The absolute most important thing I learned from being part of professional level football analysis is that quarterbacking is literally the most intricate and difficult position in all of professional sports, and that the NFL itself is struggling to develop any workable model that allows them to understand what makes one succeed vs what makes one fail. Because of this paradox it has also made the quarterback position itself grossly overvalued from a fan and media standpoint, creating an absurd fixation on the results delivered by a single player who has to rely on the contributions of everyone around them. This also drives the dreaded inflation of QB salaries that inevitably cause even elite teams to lose key talent all to pour cash into the one player supposed to be able to single-handedly elevate the entire team (and defense and special teams and coaching and ownership by some mysterious proxy), yet without those same players even talented teams can wander the wilderness searching for the right guy to take advantage of their talent window. The discussions the last few years around Bryce has personified this insanity, as this board has devolved into some sort of electronic civil war between the hyperbolic Young supporters and the vitriolic Bryce haters. The reality, like practically everything in this world, is somewhere in the middle. He has traits that can absolutely elevate a team with creativity, play recognition, off-arm angle throws, mental toughness, etc. He's also physically limited, with mostly "good-enough" qualities for most situations that a professional quarterback is asked to do, and will never be an overpowering physical force like pre-injury Cam. But "good-enough" physicality represents a large majority of championship-winning quarterbacks, even in the modern era. There's a reason the corpse of Peyton Manning took the chip from elite physical specimen Cam, because the team surrounding him was talented enough to get him there, while we all know Cam was the driving force of that 2015 team. That's no knock on him, that's just how the game of football tends to work: the more complete team usually wins. The summary is this: if this team lives or dies solely on the performance of its quarterback, then it is absolutely a paper tiger even if he plays brilliantly week in and out. There are no superheroes in this sport, there are only conduits that proxy the collective efforts of much of the team around them. And no one alive can tell you how the position is played perfectly, it's all a confluence of circumstance and what unique collection of traits each player brings to the position, which can never be truly recreated season after season, even for the same player on the same team. If this place remains a raging hellscape of idiotic hot takes I will happily remove myself again and do something more productive for yet another decade, but maybe's there hope that we can all get back to the old adage, and keep pounding.
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