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Tricky situation with my roommate and his GF

hepcat

By hepcat,
in Huddle Lounge

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hepcat Grand Master

hepcat

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So earlier this year my roommates girlfriend moved in with us.  I've lived with this guy for almost 4 years and it's been a great situation all-in-all.  Until recently when their relationship started to hit a rough patch and I found myself in the middle of it.  His band is going on tour for a month later this year.  He's confessed to me that he's considering breaking up with her before he leaves on tour.  This not only puts me in a strange situation while he's gone to have her in limbo living at the house, but his girlfriend told me she's planning to surprise him by showing up at a show on their tour and traveling with him for a few days.  

 

I just don't know how to handle this.  Should I tell her what he told me to possibly save her the embarrassment of booking a trip only to have to cancel it at the last minute?  Should I tell him that she's planning on surprising him so he can take that into account?  Or just wait and see how it plays out... 

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Darth Biscuit Mentor

Darth Biscuit

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Ouch.

 

I guess since you were his friend first, you have to kind of help him out.  I would tell him about her plans and tell him that otherwise you're staying out of it.

 

Be careful tho, you could come out on the bad end in both their eyes...  iow, don't get too involved in their business.

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hepcat Grand Master

hepcat

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Ouch.

 

I guess since you were his friend first, you have to kind of help him out.  I would tell him about her plans and tell him that otherwise you're staying out of it.

 

Be careful tho, you could come out on the bad end in both their eyes...  iow, don't get too involved in their business.

 

I mean in any other situation I'd have no reason to get involved in this.  But they both live with me and their breakup would directly effect me so, I feel obligated to say something...I don't know though, sometimes it's just better to stay out of it all.

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Darth Biscuit Mentor

Darth Biscuit

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No I agree... normally I would advise you stay out of it, but since it will affect you and since they both confided in you their plans, I think you need to tell the guy if he's gonna break up with her, he needs to go ahead do it, both to keep her from making a fool of herself/wasting a trip and to take you out of a weird situation.

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hepcat Grand Master

hepcat

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No I agree... normally I would advise you stay out of it, but since it will affect you and since they both confided in you their plans, I think you need to tell the guy if he's gonna break up with her, he needs to go ahead do it, both to keep her from making a fool of herself/wasting a trip and to take you out of a weird situation.

 

Yea, talking to him seems like the much better option.  I'm not really spilling too big of a secret by telling him she was planning to surprise him on his tour.  That won't kick up too much poo.  But if I told her he was thinking about breaking up with her, that could really explode into a huge situation....

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cookinbrak Grand Master

cookinbrak

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I would just tell him the truth.

 

 

Secondly, I would also tell him that he needs to do something quickly, especially if you have to figure out living arrangements.

 

Yeah, get him to do what he's gonna do. You're gonna get stuck with more bills or some rebound poon.

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cardiackat88. Mentor

cardiackat88.

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So earlier this year my roommates girlfriend moved in with us. I've lived with this guy for almost 4 years and it's been a great situation all-in-all. Until recently when their relationship started to hit a rough patch and I found myself in the middle of it. His band is going on tour for a month later this year. He's confessed to me that he's considering breaking up with her before he leaves on tour. This not only puts me in a strange situation while he's gone to have her in limbo living at the house, but his girlfriend told me she's planning to surprise him by showing up at a show on their tour and traveling with him for a few days.

I just don't know how to handle this. Should I tell her what he told me to possibly save her the embarrassment of booking a trip only to have to cancel it at the last minute? Should I tell him that she's planning on surprising him so he can take that into account? Or just wait and see how it plays out...

He's breaking up with her BEFORE the tour, and she plans to come see him AFTER a few shows into the tour?

You might could just let this one play out.

GFs are notorious for giving themselves away and spoiling surprises from my experience, but that's not always the case.

Just curious, why did he have her move in within the last year if he's serious about breaking up with her?

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