Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Why Your Team Sucks Carolina: A Reflection

chknwing

By chknwing,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

chknwing Grand Master

chknwing

Posted
Posted

ok way back before the season An article on ever team was done on why they suck.  Most of us laughed and blew it off.  Reading back through, jesus christ how accurate it was.  The only thing wrong was about Kelvin but dam.

 

Heres the article.  http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-carolina-panthers-1620050552

 

Excerpts

 

Your 2013 record: 12-4. The Panthers won the division and were able to save Ron Rivera's job. OH poo THEY SAVED RON RIVERA'S JOB DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! You know what they say: If you can't spot the obvious candidate for regression in 2014, then YOU are the obvious candidate for regression in 2014.

 

Anyway, with your memory now refreshed, I think we can all agree that Ron Rivera can try to not be Ron Rivera all he likes. But when it really matters, he will go right back to being Ron Rivera. I watched Marty Schottenheimer coach for two decades. I know how this works.

 

By the way, the success of the Panthers defense last season helped mask the fact that Cam Newton turned the ball over more last season than he ever has in his career. Thankfully, the Panthers front office spent this offseason giving Cam all of the weapons and critical pass protection he needs to truly flourish. LOL JK THEY fugED HIM GOOD.

 

What's new that sucks: Ah, that's just it. The Panthers lost Steve Smith, Brandon LaFell, and the entire right side of the offensive line. But don't worry! Jerricho Cotchery is here to make up for all of that. Smith is the only good wideout Cam Newton has ever had to work with, and he is now gone. And when you cut ties with Steve Smith, you ensure that Steve Smith will spend the rest of his lifetime vowing to pay you back a hundred fold. This team plays Baltimore in Week 4 and I assume that Smith has some sort of Extreme Red Wedding planned for the occasion: mortar fire, arrows, baby-punching, etc.

 

On the defensive side of the ball, pretty much everyone from last year's secondary is gone, which is bad! To help plug the gaps, the Panthers signed Roman Harper, who is 97 years old. Why do teams keep giving Roman Harper work? Does Bill Parcells threaten to sit on GMs if they don't bring Harper in for a workout?

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • mccjeff
      The Carolina Huddle

      By mccjeff · Posted

      Been here a while but rarely post and most of them are smartazz. Mostly lurk just so I can sound informed while hanging out drinking beer in my neighbors garage. Amusingly a Huddle level of knowledge kind of makes you a subject matter expert. Thanks for that.
    • Car123
      Bryce Young 5th year option exercised

      By Car123 · Posted

      That’s similar as saying MVP Cam is the same as rookie Cam because his mechanics didn’t change. We’re talking about production.
    • frankw
      Bryce Young 5th year option exercised

      By frankw · Posted

      In 2025 Sam Darnold had over 1k more passing yards than Bryce Young on 1 less pass attempt. Repeat that to yourself several times and let it sink in. I absolutely love it when people come on here and invoke Sam Darnold like some gotcha. Darnold is the physical prototype for what anyone needs in a franchise QB. All the physical tools. Few people thought he would put it all together on the mental side of the position. He used to make some of the worst decisions you would ever see. At times in the past he made up for that with absurd throws and athleticism. But make no mistake whatsoever no matter how you feel about our starting QB. Bryce Young is a completely opposite conundrum. He lacks virtually any and all physical tools and athleticism and his elite processing is really mediocre at best on a good day and horrific on a bad day. These are realities people should have already been addressing instead of quadrupling down in year four.
×
×
  • Create New...