Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Alas, it's my fault the Panthers suck ass the year


SCP

Recommended Posts

It's not Shula. It's not Cam. It's not Fishing Boat. It's not Byron Bell or Turnstile Chandler or Roman Harper or Nippleshorts. It's not JR or Bojangles. It's not cookinwithgas wearing coaches shorts with a sweater vest to every home game. It's not the nude photos of Panthro that Jase discovered on manbearscience.com. It's not Jackie Miles and it's not our overall shitty fan base and home field disadvantage.

Nope, it's none of that. It's my fault. I travel a lot for work. So I am in my office infrequently. This morning I am in the office and grew tired of aimlessly walking the hallways and crop dusting the building. So I bit the bullet and entered my office. As I was spinning around in my office chair braiding my chest hair and generally bored silly, something caught me eye. I noticed a huge error that caused a rift in the space-time continuum. The fugging cleaning agency moved the helmet in my office. The face mask is to always point north towards BofA stadium. This is a must for the Panthers to succeed. However, the face mask is now pointing south towards the Gaffney butt-peach and I believe it has been like this since February. I have the attentiveness of a black-eye pea so I can't be 100% certain about this but I am fairly confident. As you see below, the face mask is now pointing north. I know many want us to lose but I want to beat the Saints so fuging bad. We will see this Sunday if my office helmet theory is correct. .post-332-141779421225_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a feeling the theories of Shula, Ron, the O Line, and secondary, were all wrong and there was something deeper to it. Thank you for opening my eyes to the real reason why our season has been horrible. I feel so much better knowing we have a completely competent staff and talented roster worthy of a super bowl run had It not been for your helmet facing the wrong way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The shine on your helmet has permanently blinded Byron Bell, Silatolu, and Nate Chandler, that's why they keep whiffing on blocks. Explains the Minnesota game and the blocked punts too. Thanks a lot for ruining our season.

21-ron-rivera-carolina-panthers_pg_600.j

Ron should buy them all glasses with transition lenses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for making me laugh SCP.

 

Oh, and if this proves you are correct...Then you would become the most import person in the Carolinas!  

 

Super Bowl?

 

Prosperity?

 

Nirvana?

 

All on you and your helmet! (The one on the shelf!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Sorta related.  I just looked up a stat:  Success rates for NFL draft's second rounders.  I was surprised that it is 49%.  The success rate for first rounders is 58%.   Here success does not mean those that did not bust, it means that roughly half of the players selected in the second round become full-time starters at some point in their careers.  Busts do that too.  However, considering the fact that a first round talent is worth up to 1800 points (first overall pick) more than the first pick of the second round and as low as 350 points (last pick in first round) higher than the last pick in round 2, it seems there could be cases in which it would be to your advantage to trade out of round 1 and draft two or three second rounders for the value.  Of course, the elite players are likely to be gone, and some positions overwhelmingly suck after round 1 (traditionally, like QB or LT, for example), but if you need to find starters at positions like DT, G, LB, S, C, TE, RB, etc, there could be a time when you trade back for more starters.  I was surprised that the margin between rounds 1 and 2 was only 9%.    While I realize that some of you sofa scholars are thinking, "Well duh?  Trading back gives you more players." as you wipe the Cheetos off your shirt.  Not the point.  The point is you have to consider the draft,the needs (and the number of them), and you need to scout the second and third rounds like you do the first, the cap, and the long-term impact.  If you can find 2 players with a 49% chance of becoming a starter, are you better off than drafting one player who has a 58% chance in the long term? So if I traded away my first rounder for two second rounders (a trade most teams would make) regularly, when I got 10 second rounders (by trading 5 first rounders), 5 would be starters.  If I did not trade and kept my 5 first rounders, 3 would be starters.  Furthermore, their rookie contracts would be much cheaper than the 5 first rounders. 
    • These are the three deep throw attempts that Will Levis made in week 12. His first one is a beauty; Levis and Westbrook-Ikhine gets the safety to bite on a deep dig only to go over the top for the score. His second throw is another beauty: a crosser to Calvin Ridley reminiscent of Bryce to XL (though Ridley has noticeably more separation on his route). His third and final deep shot was an incompletion from his own endzone on 3rd & 14 with pressure coming down on him (to me, this seems like a solid throw).   Film Room Playlist NFL Pro-02.mp4 Film Room Playlist NFL Pro-01.mp4 Film Room Playlist NFL Pro.mp4 Film Room Playlist NFL Pro-01.mp4 Levis took half of the deep shots that Young did. The differences are: Ridley had much better separation than XL, which is why his deep crosser turned into a 63yd play since he was able to scamper for another 15+ after the catch. Westbrook-Ikhine holds on to his TD pass. Bryce had to throw one away to preserve time for a field goal. Bryce had two more throws that were incomplete due to the WR Are we really holding the three WR errors and clock management decision against Bryce in order to say that Will was better throwing deep in week 12? That's not passing the eye test nor is it confirmed by the data.
×
×
  • Create New...