2015 Carolina Huddle Member Draft Profiles

[SCP]

Boneless wings are just chicken nuggets masquerading as wings. Don't fall for the boneless wing propaganda guys.

 

You are all the sudden the La'el Collins of this draft.  Due to this negative comment about boneless wings, you have been called home to be interviewed by the night management staff at Wild Wing Cafe.

 

WEAKNESSES:  (Updated on 4/30/15) Off the field issues and character concerns.  Boneless wing hater.

[SCP]

Failed

 

A punt is not always a bad play.

[R0CKnR0LLA]

So I'm the murderous thug of the draft.

 

Sweet.

[*FreeFua*]

Darth, I don't think Jase would participate in the 40 due to fear of losing gainz

And easy boys, it's a curl station first squat rack second

[chknwing]

chknwing

 

40 YARD DASH: 10 yards in 2 secs, then fall over from heart attack
BENCH PRESS:  30 reps of 50 wings
VERTICAL JUMP: Uses Escalator
BROAD JUMP: 3 girls in 1 night
3 CONE DRILL: finishes the first 2 and halfway through the 2nd ice cream cone
20 YARD SHUTTLE: instructions unclear got dick caught in zipper

STRENGTHS: Can beat any challenger in a chicken wing eating contest.  Chicks love him. 

WEAKNESSES:  Unable to keep alcoholic beverages inside a container. 

DRAFT PROJECTION: Round 1

 

[Kurb]

Marques Anderson.

Never heard if him? He's a journeyman safety that played on different teams from 2002 to 2005.

Why him? Because after leaving the NFL, he took up...photography.

Please edit your post so Igo's real identity isn't out there

[Jeremy Igo]

Darth Biscuit

 

5-11

two hundred something something pounds.

 

 

Positives: Outstanding eye for titties, unmatched ability to motorboat. 

 

Negatives: Play speed will be hampered by non stop raging boner. 

 

Prediction: Round 4, refractory period, then round 6 again. 

 

 

[davos]

Alice

40 YARD DASH: *collapsed during drill
BENCH PRESS: *bar fell on him during drill
SQUAT:  *unable to compete b/c of bench press incident

STRENGTHS: no longer posts

WEAKNESSES: his presence/state of being

DRAFT PROJECTION: UDFA (or) Canada

[chknwing]

wait Darth Biscuit isnt a female?

[KSpan]

Alice

 

40 YARD DASH: Unknown, but his Bentley goes 0-60 in 5.7 seconds

BENCH PRESS: Unknown, but his wallet is pretty heavy and he lifts it a lot

VERTICAL JUMP: 4.4 on the Richter Scale

BROAD JUMP: Unknown, but his maid jumped 5'3" in his place

3 CONE DRILL: Consumes 3 DQ cones in 4.2 seconds

20 YARD SHUTTLE: Unknown, as shuttles are for poor people

 

STRENGTHS: Now buying 2-story houses within real estate portfolio... Recently expanded shoe section of closet to house the rarest of all Air Jordans, the AJ IV Paisley Print... Can fit 6 models in his bathtub... Elite bandwagon jumping skill...

 

WEAKNESSES: Po' Boy sandwiches, extra ranch... Relies on statistical analyses to support alternate realities...  Believes Rob Ryan can field a quality defense for more than 1 year

 

DRAFT PROJECTION: Scouts say undrafted, but an advanced analysis of the derivation of his 8th grade GPA multiplied by the average humidity of Louisiana from the years 1972-1979 (except for 1977, which was proven to be a statistical outlier) and analyzed via Prufer sequence says Top 5.

 

CFL PLAYER COMPARISON: Junior Ah You

[KSpan]

Alice

40 YARD DASH: *collapsed during drill

BENCH PRESS: *bar fell on him during drill

SQUAT:  *unable to compete b/c of bench press incident

STRENGTHS: no longer posts

WEAKNESSES: his presence/state of being

DRAFT PROJECTION: UDFA (or) Canada

 

Damn... got it in as I was typing mine up. Pie for you.

[Scrumtrilescent]

This thread makes me want wings for lunch.  And dinner.  And maybe for a second breakfast.

[Darth Biscuit]

wait Darth Biscuit isnt a female?

 

Maybe

[davos]

Maybe

 

It's Pat!