Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Never Fear, My Children, Zod Is Here....

Zod

By Zod,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

Zod Grand Master

Zod

Posted
Posted

I am here for you. I know the demons have invaded your very soul.

I am here to cleanse you, if you will let me.

First, turn your speakers all the way up, then press play...

">" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

Seriously, this won't work unless you press play

Now Scroll Down...

.

.

.

Keep Scrolling

.

.

.

.

.

.

Oh heavenly football gods, we come to you today with aching hearts and sore rectums. Our feathered opponents last week gave us no courtesy, not even one drop of lubricant. I've been crapping feathers for 48 hours now, the quills a painful reminder of our incompetence.

Oh heavenly football gods, we know not what we have done to anger you in such a vicious way. We know not why you have sent the ancient Cajun demons into our stadium. Was it the time I stuffed Johnny Rockets Eagles shirt down the crotch of my sweaty shorts when Johnny Rockets was not looking? Or was it the time I placed the Eagles symbol where it truly belonged.....

650381118_T4YtZ-L.jpg

Whatever the cause, I now say OUT you demons, and go back from where you came. Return Jake Delhomme's color vision to him, and remove your demonic roller skates from our offensive line. I command you to return Fox's testicles to him so that he may once again call plays that require them.

In return, this Sunday, we promise to sacrifice and consume many pigs and chickens. We promise to finish this communion by drinking a few glasses of fermented wheat and hops. We do all of this in the hopes that our avian face raping will not repeat itself, for this would be more than even I can bare.

DEMONS OUT!!!!

Now if you will excuse me, I have more feathers to purge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • TD alt
      Dan Morgan on the Rich Eisen show

      By TD alt · Posted

      I hope Bryce balls out. Wouldn't bet the farm on it though. Morgan has to be practical though. He was placed into a situation where he was compelled to give Bryce a long look. There really haven't been any more practical options due to who has been available at the position. The Panthers had already put their chips in with Bryce, so putting more chips in by borrowing against the future and stacking on that by borrowing against the future without really having the requisite draft capital was a nonstarter. We could either dump Bryce and go dumpster diving for known and unknown JAGs at the position, or take out chances and let it play out with Bryce and hope for acceptable returns. Due to what looks like some good moves in the draft and free agency, it appears like we're finally getting into a position where we can take a swing again if need be without destroying the core of the team. I understand that you'll believe it when you see it, but Dan is gonna move on if Bryce can't cut it. There are too many professionals lives and careers tied to Bryce to simply accept the status quo. 
    • Navy_football
      Dan Morgan on the Rich Eisen show

      By Navy_football · Posted

      Football is the ultimate team sport. No sport is more dependent on others for your success - including coaching. I don't know if Bryce is the guy, but I do know this has been a very bad team all around since he got here. One of the worst o-lines and coaching staffs I've ever seen his rookie year. One of the worst defenses and receiving groups (including TEs) I've ever seen his 2nd season - with a rookie HC and OC. An improving WR group his 3rd season mostly due to a rookie. The only other WR of note didn't really play well until after the 10th game of the season due to injury. Still no receiving TE to speak of. And lost games because of the worst pass rush in the NFL. And the only speed he's ever had on the field was DJ Chark. A washed up DJ Chark that played here one year and has had 31 yards receiving since leaving.  Carolina had no business moving up for a QB in 2023. They weren't ready. Especially if it meant trading your only good WR to do it. Now finally there's potential on defense. Potential on o-line. Potential at WR, including some actual speed in a game where speed kills. If BY falls on his face this season, then he has to own it. Situation may not be perfect, but it's at least NFL average across the board. I won't beat him up for being bad in bad situations on a bad team. But a 4th year QB has to be able to control the offense and make players/coaches right. The team looks good enough on paper to show what he can do now.   
    • Manna
      Schedule Release: Leaks and Rumors

      By Manna · Posted

      Mr. 0-2 every year to start the season in his career. Last year was the first year he ever played a week 3 game. 
×
×
  • Create New...