Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Why the Atlanta Falcons Suck 2017


bleedsgreenandgold

Recommended Posts

It's finally here and it's glorious.

 

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-atlanta-falcons-1799949492

 

Here are the cliff notes:

 

"AHAHAHAHAHA YEAH SURE WHATEVER CHOKEBOY. You don’t get to tell me you’re over it when you haven’t played a meaningful game since, nor when you’ve spent your last two playoff losses blowing a combined 42 points worth of leads. And it gets even worse because Ryan then goes ahead and pulls the tired “We wouldn’t change a thing!” garbage that no athlete or coach ever truly believes:"

 

"Even when we were all making 3-1 gags about the Golden State Warriors, there was always the prospect of that team eventually finding a way to render those jokes dated. And they did. That will NEVER be a danger with the Atlanta Falcons. You guys will wear 28-3 around your necks forever, into the next life and the life after that. It’s the worst loss in sports history, and will be for as long as I live."

 

"Any team can give you run of the mill disappointment, but a betrayal like that is... generational."

 

"I will never be comfortable with a Falcons lead again until two hours after the game has already ended."

 

"The only thing stopping Atlanta from becoming the most miserable sports town in America is the fact that 85% of the residents just don’t give a poo about the teams there. If anymore northerners moved there, you’d think Sherman was coming to burn it down again. No Falcons team will ever have enough loyal supporters that can’t be considered bandwagon fans. I wouldn’t take a piss on Kyle Shanahan to save him if he was crawling out of Andre Rison’s house."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love this part:

Most important, the team has moved into its new stadium. Ah yes, the House That 28-3 Built. Sponsored by Mercedes! Because the Germans ALSO know a thing or two about lost momentum.

The German Wehrmacht, the 20th century Military History version of the Atlanta Falcons

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm in the same boat as the one guy. We will be seconds away from winning one of these and just before the clock runs out, a huge goddam asteroid crashes into the stadium spray painted with the message "hahaha fug you Falcons". Probably painted black and gold too.

I laughed like hell at Megatrons butthole.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"As soon as James White crossed the goal line in overtime, I simply turned the TV off and stared blankly at the screen until my party guests began packing their things and leaving in silence. In a way, I’m staring at that blank screen to this day. There’s a Falcons Super Bowl LI shirt stuffed in my drawer that I treat like a pair of baby shoes that were never used - I know I should get rid of it, but the very act of doing so might open a door to my soul that I can’t easily shut. Any team can give you run of the mill disappointment, but a betrayal like that is... generational."

LMAO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • You’re playing madden we’re talking real football stuff…. He does have you seen his special on internet he def thinks he’s getting paid 
    • Without the team having an identity kinda hard to predict what they value.  They either are really trying to build a balanced team, or preparing for another swing at qb if Bryce doesn’t pan out. Seems like we value the o line but the $ spent there has been underwhelming besides Lewis, you could say it’s because of injuries but still hasn’t been worth the investment. as already stated, the whole handling of Bryce young as a whole has been ass backwards, we spent the years we’re supposed to take advantage of having a qb with a lower cap hit, building the team up to be adequate. now It appears, key word appears, the saints have done it correctly, which is painful to even think about. Regardless, I hope the front office has paid attention to qb contracts recently, such as Tua, Kyler, Daniel jones(pre colts) and don’t settle for subpar qb play at franchise qb rates    
    • This is the flaw in your logic.  Cutting 3 of our best players will somehow move us from whatever we are to "compete". Even the most Young super fans are not predicting a ceiling above top 10-12, and that will not nearly cut it.  Someone will need to break the log jam of QBs getting nothing or North of 50. Our qb is at best a middle ground, lets hope it will be us that also manage to pay the worth at about 100 over 3 years.  And before you jump me, yes that is only of he improves.
×
×
  • Create New...