Bear Down (or How Mike Davis is Foregoing the Lube)

[Seltzer]

After laying down our victorious skid marks in that oversized toilet that Antebellum Arthur calls home, the Panthers now take aim for Chicago.

The Second City. 

Literally a step down from anywhere else.

 

A place that somehow incorporates both the rudeness of New York with the cozy Southside slums that would make Detroit blush with envy.

A city that claims our best basketball export (Jordan) to mask the shame and mediocrity that has been their sad sack of a football team since the mid 80’s.

 

Come this Sunday afternoon, we are going to own this overrated bunch from the Windy City like the prostitutes own Lincoln Park.

Much like Al Capone a hundred years ago, we’re going to wreck Chicago and continue on our unlikely path back to glory.

 

Ever since passing on Watson & Mahomes for Mitch the B*tch, Matt Nagy knows he’s ultimately on borrowed time.

After being turned down by Theodore Throwsevelt, Esq, Nagy got even more panicked, passing up yet again better options (cough, Cam, cough) for one Nick Foles

 

A blander version of Napoleon Dynamite with inferior hair and dance moves.  And just like Napoleon, Foles is a one-hit wonder who couldn’t beat out a 6^th rounder who rocks a pornstache, headban, and jorts.

You know, kind of like the guy SCP would have feared the most sharing an adjacent toilet stall after eating an undercooked burger with 6 Old Styles at the Midway Airport.

 

Now I have have spent all week listening to Bears fans bemoan their lack of respect and how they are going to shut us down.

Which brings me to the 2^nd biggest blunder Matt Nagy has made this past year.

Letting go of Beast Mode 2.0.  The man who is going to plow through holes this Sunday like Harvey Weinstein before the #metoo movement.

A grown-ass man who put more Falcons on the mattress last week than a I-94 Lot Lizard

A man who is going to help lead us to 4-0 this Sunday.

 

So batten down the hatches and get liquored up.  This season is about to get fun.

Panthers 27,

Bears 20

[jfra78]

*Note to self* Don't ever get on Seltzer's poo list.

Good poo dude

[TDAllDay]

7 minutes ago, Seltzer said:

The man who is going to plow through holes this Sunday like Harvey Weinstein before the #metoo movement.

I literally sharted laughing at this.

[run-run-pass-punt]

[cardiackat88.]

Decent write-up about Chicago...but you missed a few things...

O'hare is the second shittiest airport in the world (behind Heathrow)

and......THEIR PIZZA SUCKS!!! Yea...I said it....and I had their crummy pizza as my last meal stateside before getting on a ratchet ass flight at O'hare.

[Moo Daeng]

32 minutes ago, TDAllDay said:

I literally sharted laughing at this.

rape is so funny

[Asurfaholic]

8 minutes ago, Moo Daeng said:

rape is so funny

[Moo Daeng]

11 minutes ago, Asurfaholic said:

laugh it up 

[Panther Believer]

Sorry for the late response, just got done running through a brick wall.

[TheWinman]

17 hours ago, Seltzer said:

After laying down our victorious skid marks in that oversized toilet that Antebellum Arthur calls home, the Panthers now take aim for Chicago.

The Second City. 

Literally a step down from anywhere else.

Maybe stop reading the negative only news when it comes to Chicago and actually go there for yourself before you talk about Chicago.   Yes,  Chicago has MANY flaws (some serious) just like any other big city does.  Chicago is hardly a steop down from any big city.

 

A place that somehow incorporates both the rudeness of New York with the cozy Southside slums that would make Detroit blush with envy.

I can see you have never been to NYC or Detroit either.  Chicago people are far from rude compared to other big cities.   Go to the bad part of Detroit (the areas with houses still for sale for under $30k) then rethink your ignorant comments. 

 

17 hours ago, Seltzer said:

 

Come this Sunday afternoon, we are going to own this overrated bunch from the Windy City like the prostitutes own Lincoln Park.

There are no prostitutes in Lincold Park, only really on Rush St.   PLease try to be accurate with your information.

Much like Al Capone a hundred years ago, we’re going to wreck Chicago and continue on our unlikely path back to glory.

How did Al Capone wreck Chicago? lol

 

Ever since passing on Watson & Mahomes for Mitch the B*tch, Matt Nagy knows he’s ultimately on borrowed time.

After being turned down by Theodore Throwsevelt, Esq, Nagy got even more panicked, passing up yet again better options (cough, Cam, cough) for one Nick Foles

You do realize that Nagy is the coach and NOT the General Manager who passed on Mahomes or got rid of Mike Davis (who was absolute poo for the Bears)?  It appears you're a bit confused.  re: Bridgewater.   Little Teddy did not want to compete for the starting job that is why he is not a Bear.  He didn't think he could beat out Mitch. lol

 

A blander version of Napoleon Dynamite with inferior hair and dance moves.  And just like Napoleon, Foles is a one-hit wonder who couldn’t beat out a 6^th rounder who rocks a pornstache, headban, and jorts.

You know, kind of like the guy SCP would have feared the most sharing an adjacent toilet stall after eating an undercooked burger with 6 Old Styles at the Midway Airport.

 

Now I have have spent all week listening to Bears fans bemoan their lack of respect and how they are going to shut us down.

Which brings me to the 2^nd biggest blunder Matt Nagy has made this past year.

Letting go of Beast Mode 2.0.  The man who is going to plow through holes this Sunday like Harvey Weinstein before the #metoo movement.

A grown-ass man who put more Falcons on the mattress last week than a I-94 Lot Lizard

A man who is going to help lead us to 4-0 this Sunday.

 

So batten down the hatches and get liquored up.  This season is about to get fun.

Panthers 27,

Bears 20

Despite you little tirade filled with inaccuracies that was not meant for 99.9% of the members of this discussion board, just for a few Bears fan who would take the bait, I will enlighten you with my prediction.  Bears 31 Panthers 26.  You keep being like the media and many other haters who keep underestimating the Bears while the Bears keep winning games.  Don't hide after the game, please post.  I'm sure you're will be making some kind of excuse.  I can't wait

[jfra78]

39 minutes ago, TheWinman said:

I can see you have never been to NYC or Detroit either.  Chicago people are far from rude compared to other big cities.   Go to the bad part of Detroit (the areas with houses still for sale for under $30k) then rethink your ignorant comments. 

 

Despite you little tirade filled with inaccuracies that was not meant for 99.9% of the members of this discussion board, just for a few Bears fan who would take the bait, I will enlighten you with my prediction.  Bears 31 Panthers 26.  You keep being like the media and many other haters who keep underestimating the Bears while the Bears keep winning games.  Don't hide after the game, please post.  I'm sure you're will be making some kind of excuse.  I can't wait

[imminent rogaine]

Their corners are good, their pass rush is good.  Nothing would make me happier than to be able to pound the rock and dump to Davis. 20+ carries and 7 or 8 grabs. Let him show out, take some pressure off of teddy and our offensive line. Here’s hoping. 

[TheWinman]

1 hour ago, jfra78 said:

one needs to be worked up to lighten up.  I just call out out B.S. when I see it.

[jfra78]

3 minutes ago, TheWinman said:

one needs to be worked up to lighten up.  I just call out out B.S. when I see it.

Think of it like a roast