Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Atlanta, GA: The Sebaceous Cyst of the Southeast

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

Getcha’ some MRSA Bay. What a damn night Panther Nation! It must really suck to have to walk out of that stadium dressed like an ass pirate after a blow-out loss to my Panthers. Seriously Buc fan, what’s going through your mind when you are at home in your bathroom using make-up remover to get the fake pirate beard off your face after a loss? Your kids are looking at you like you’re some douche and your wife refuses to wash your puffy pirate shirt for the next game. It’s just sad. Anyway, thanks for getting us above .500 and those fake cannons sounded awesome bros.

Now we have to turn our focus to I-85 south and the proverbial shithole of the South. It’s fitting that when reviewing submissions for the new Falcon stadium, Arthur Blank approved a design resembling a puckered sphincter muscle. It’s inspiring when architecture can tell a story about the city you’re visiting and its something that I appreciate when I travel. The precision and excellence of the architecture in ancient Greece implores you to appreciate the workmanship and pride of the Greeks. The skyscrapers reaching to the heavens in New York City that stretch the limits of man’s ability to design and construct speak to the relentless pursuit to achieve greatness. Then you have Atlanta. What a better way to tell the story of Atlanta and the Falcons than by choosing a big butthole to be the landmark sport venue in the heart of downtown. Speaks volumes, no? When that thing is finished in three years they should hand out a commemorative roll of toilet paper and a tube of Preparation H to the first 20,000 fans in attendance. I assume the stadium naming rights will go to Depends Undergarments or Ex-Lax since the Falcons and Matt Ryan poo the bed so much when it counts.

We have a local Charlottean that’s popped up on the message board of late who claims hardcore Atlanta Falcons fanhood. I thought I’d provide some stats since his Matt Ryan jersey probably still has the Kohls tags on it. The Falcons have been around for almost 50 years and their overall record is 312–402–6. They are 7-12 in playoff appearances and have been to one Super Bowl. My Panthers are 135-159-0 and are 6-4 in playoff games and have also been to one Super Bowl. So shut your piehole when you speak about the Falcons being this superior franchise. The Falcons haven’t done squat. Matt Ryan and Mike Smith choke harder than Andre Rison teaching a finance class. You claim "Dirty Bird" and now "Rise Up" as battle cries. Rise Up actually makes sense since so many Falcon fans are used to hearing "Please Rise" when the judge enters the court room at their arraignment hearing.

Come next Sunday after the Shitbirds lose to the Cardinals in the desert, they will make the trip up to Charlotte. Thank God Fua has been inactive but Atlanta’s o-line is so bad Fua could probably make a highlight reel film for his Canadian Football auditions. If CJ’s groin proves to be healthy I expect our front 7 to wreak havoc on Howdie Doodie all fugging day. That ugly ass Julio Jones is out so shut down White and bust Gonzalez in the mouth at the LOS and things should go well. Atlanta’s defense doesn’t have poo to stop our dynamic QB and this offense. Suck it Falcon fans. 85 South bitches.

Panthers 28

Falcons 21

post-332-0-63911400-1382715680_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • tukafan21
      T-Mac Jerseys?

      By tukafan21 · Posted

      lol well that kinda ended up working out in the end, even though I still don't have my jersey yet. Was supposed to ship by tomorrow this time, but just got another email saying it was delayed another 3 weeks and because it's been delayed so long, I had to tell them to keep the order or cancel it, but gave me a 25% off my next order as an apology. Well, my original fear came true and they are now selling the FUSE version (but still not the Blue unfortunately) before the one I ordered was ever shipped. But that's awesome, because I was able to use that coupon to order the FUSE instead and then cancelled the original order.  So I got the jersey I wanted for only $6.30 more than the crappier version costs, and it also says it will be shipped immediately and get here early next week, or 2 weeks before the other was now supposed to be shipped out.
    • Captain Morgan
      Player Led culture vs Staff Led

      By Captain Morgan · Posted

      I've watched this and think we are well underway.  Believe it or not, Bryce is a big part of this.  The way he bounced back with such grace.  And we've got a lot of young players who want to make their mark, Dave is giving them an opportunity.  I loved our draft.  I like the number of guys we brought in, and they will help build the culture we want under Dave.  We're getting closer, and I think we'll see more wins this year than most of the board. The right culture breeds winning, and winning builds the right culture.  Imho, it's coming.  
    • frankw
      Player Led culture vs Staff Led

      By frankw · Posted

      As others have said it's both. One creates the other. But it also takes time sometimes years. And there have been teams lately with new car smell coaching staffs that looked like they were putting it together quickly but things came crashing back down to Earth. Sustainability is the key. For that to happen the meddling of our owners has to stop and they cannot be tempted to return to their ways over any bump in the road either.
×
×
  • Create New...