The Truth - by SCP

[SCP]

I think it's time to have a little Internet come to Jesus session. Like a herd of fatasses at the Golden Coral when they ring the hot yeast roll bell, it's time to pull up a chair and belly up to the truth. That truth, hard to swallow as it may be, last year was an anomaly during a 3+ year Hurney-cleansing rebuilding process that gave Panther fans false hope. I have talked more poo than most about my Panthers. All the while knowing our faults. I laughed off the pundits negative stories while I knew they were mostly true. I forced myself into some utopian frenzy of false hope that Shula would have an epiphany and Byron Bell would morph into the next Anthony Munoz. I will do it again Sunday morning like a moth to a flame. I will picture the face of that bitchy little QB in Atlanta with his Nancy boy "get off my field" scowl and run into BofA thinking we will win like a dumbass sheep. I used to bang a chick in college that worked at a Western Sizzler in Sylva, NC. Her sole job there was to make green beans. Every fuging day, make green beans. I'd throw her the D in the morning and then I'd get real with her before she got in her shitty Lumina and drove to work at that shithole. The truth was, green beans don't cook themselves. They take time (like 5 minutes). They take ingredients like salt and bacon. She'd always bitch about how much work it took to make 800 lbs of green beans everyday for a bunch of ungrateful mountain folk. Point is, green bean don't just green bean. And like it or not we are in the middle of a rebuild. 2013 was awesome, but you could almost read it on Dave's face after the year when he was up on the podium. He knew we overachieved. This is a long process thanks to some of the dumbest contracts ever handed out by a GM. It sucks but it's the truth. The foundation is in place but the bacon is not going in the green beans until that shitty Lumina gets an oil change.

You are all now dumber for reading this.

[ZeroZeroSeven]

The Panthers might be a dumpster fire but they are my dumpster fire.

[Moose Hoover]

Throw them in lemon juice and they sorta cook themselves...

[chknwing]

great, now I want green beans

[CRA]

Wait, are we the Lumina, green beans or chick?

[Navy_football]

I'm not sure what this means.

 

I'm not sure what any of this means.

[CAB]

Tailgate this week: green beans and yeast rolls. Hmmmmmm......

[teeray]

Panthers are my team. That is just the way it is.

I will punch walls on Sunday.

Mope around on Monday

Try to forget on Tuesday

Move on by Wednesday

Start scouting the next opponent on Thursday

Start convincing myself we have a chance to win the game on Friday

Am totally fired up and expect to win on Saturday.

Then repeat.

[Pimpdaddy]

that is one shitty lumina...was she good in the sack?

 

[L-TownCat]

I wanna be the lumina.

[KSpan]

I have no idea what just happened.

[cultclassiccat]

i have a coupon for 10$ off next visit to a jiffy lube nearest you.  

[cardiackat88.]

Why do I only picture this check smelling like bacon green beans 24 hours a day?

[5158Poundin]

I love my green beans with lots of bacon…when is it ready for me to eat and be satisfied? I was totally crying and blowing snot bubbles over my heartbreak this season…but I will work on the body and make sure that boy regrets dumping on me like he did this season...