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When is a marriage basically on the point of no return?


YourMomsLover

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I've never been married so I don't know but in my opinion I would say when there is no longer any desire to make things work or communication to fix the issues.  It could be completely one sided too but marriage is a team effort and if one side bows out it's better for both for it to be over.  It's easier if both sides quit equally and amicably but that's rarely the case.

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You are spot on.

Anything can be worked on and overcome....but only if both are willing to try and communicate.

Unfortunately most people aren't willing to do that.  My sister has been married 4 times.  Going through her fourth divorce as we speak.  Mom was married 3 times.  Aunt's were all married more than once.  My brother has been married twice, divorced twice, and getting ready to get married again.

 

I've been married once, and if I ever get divorced I REFUSE to marry again.  It's ridiculous.  

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Quit being a bully.

Here's the situation.

My wife and I married at 18. We are both 28 now.

Her family fuging hates me, my family fuging hates her.

I'm guessing that's causing an issue between you two. Is that the only/biggest issue you're facing?

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Quit being a bully.

Here's the situation.

My wife and I married at 18. We are both 28 now.

Her family fuging hates me, my family fuging hates her.

I told my in laws not to fug with me so they been nothing but nice to me. My wife let my mother know to keep her distance. My mother tried to turn me against my wife and I told her not to stick her nose in it.

You need to realize that marriage is about you two. Love your relatives but love your wife even more.

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Does she still matter to you? Do you still matter to her?

 

If either answer is yes, then you've got some work to do. Might be important for you two to sit down and discuss if you are still committed to each other. Rationally and as adults. Put the parents off to the side with the agreement that you both have problems there.

 

Do you have kids? If so, you need to work this out. Otherwise while you might be set free with a divorce, your kids will be faced with an entire life affected by the divorce of their parents. While you couldn't work out your problems with your spouse, they have to change their entire lives immediately, and then adjust just about every frikkin' thing they will ever do -- even well into their adult lives, even their kids' lives. You will do more damage to them, permanently, than any difficulties the marriage is costing you.

 

So, if you are still committed and you have kids, get in there and work this out. Be prepared to give and take, set some boundaries for the parents -- both sets and inform the parents of those boundaries. If you have kids, you may find that they can be used to silently strengthen those in-law boundaries.

 

Basically, it doesn't matter if you were 18 or 48 when you were married. What matters is if two people can maturely sit down and work this out.

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I told my in laws not to fug with me so they been nothing but nice to me. My wife let my mother know to keep her distance. My mother tried to turn me against my wife and I told her not to stick her nose in it.

You need to realize that marriage is about you two. Love your relatives but love your wife even more.

 

 

Exactly.  If your families are the reason your marriage is suffering, go tell them to fug themselves.  That is some incredibly selfish bullshit to split apart a family member's marriage because of their own hang ups.  They need to suck it up and make it work for YOUR sake.  What's that they say you need to do for family....oh yea....love them unconditionally.

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Quit being a bully.

Here's the situation.

My wife and I married at 18. We are both 28 now.

Her family fuging hates me, my family fuging hates her.

 

My wife and I have been married almost 10 years, I am 28-she's 32- We have gotten to the point with our families that we realize we're our own team. If they want to be a part of things, see their grandson, and participate, they know how to reach us. We aren't trying to win everyone over or make everyone happy. It's about US now. We come first. 

 

Once you realize that your wife and you are a team, and teams work best when everyone works together, the easier things get. 

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