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Patriots week: Dunkin Donuts biscuits are ass water


SCP

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21 hours ago, SCP said:

 

Yes the Patriots have 5 Super Bowls and we have none but who’s counting?  Yes they are coached by a man that many feel is the GOAT.  I mean the son of a bitch wore a sweatshirt with the neck and sleeves cut off over a god damned button down at his presser today.  If that is not some damn boss sh*t I don’t know what is.  But with all that in mind, there is a chink in his armor.  The dude drives a Subaru Outback mini-station wagon to work every day. 

 

Driving a 2004 Subaru mini-wagon to work is a sign of a guy that fears for his safety.  Everyone knows that Subaru’s are a safe damn vehicle.  Bill is scared.  He is scared of sliding off the road and crashing into a river.  A river that might have a gambling boat.  That boat has a windshield that transitions from clear to tinted when it goes from overcast to sunny conditions.  That boat, let’s call it a River Boat, haunts Bill in his dreams because Bill has never beaten the river boat.  He knows that Kuechly broke up that pass to Gronk cleanly.  He knows in his heart of hearts that if his Subaru were to slide of off a bridge and collide with the river boat the Subaru would explode and burst into a ball of flames then sink to the bottom of the river where he would succumb to the Giardia parasite (google that poo) and sh*t his brains out for the next month.  It’s simple; guys that want to win football games don’t drive a 2004 Subaru Outback Coup.  This is a fact, all of their victories and Super Bowl titles are meaningless.

 

 

Panthers 27

Patriots 23

Image result for 1978 amc pacer

this is great because I work at Subaru.

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