Trophy Nation: How handing out trophies, regardless of success, may cause failure.

[Jangler]

I was given a slushy for not drowning.

[arbnranger]

The trophy itself isn't a big deal. I think to many it just represents -"everyone is a winner". Like others have said the true learning or teaching points (or lack thereof) go on before and after the game with the parents. When my son did well I never celebrated like crazy and when he did bad I didn't make it that big of a deal. My main focus was always about effort and heart. That goes a long way in life well beyond school sports.

[frash.exe]

Who cares if kids get a small trophy for participation?  This is howling at the moon bullshit that really has no real world impact.

I got participation ribbons for swim meets when I was a child.

This is dumb.  

because I didn't get a trophy for making 5th place in the "best mullet of '86" contest when I was a teenager. Why do these little shits deserve anything but a spanking for being failures?

[Udogg]

It matters what YOU tell your kid.  Some of the people here bashing people for giving the trophies are the same ones that let their kids bring the trophies home.  If you took that trophy and smashed it in the parking lot before you get in the car to go home,  then my friend I respect your opinion on the matter. 

In my house, I allow participation trophies.  However, only trophies with a place (1-3rd) or mvp or something like that gets a place on the mantle.   The others get displayed in your room. I explain that the trophy they got is no different than a certificate.  However the place trophies means something.   My son is obsessed that his sister has a 2 first place trophies and he only has 1.  It has drove him competitively and it also drives her to stay ahead of him.

That being said I always congratulate them for competing and participating, but I also get on them about not giving 100%.  Thats my main concern as a parent.. 100% effort and no quitting ever.   People need to quit deferring parenting with all this blame the <insert  >.  If you have a problem with a "generation" or "everyone else" .. fix your kids first.   Kids are their own people with different emotions, reactions etc.  However if your child grows up soft, it wasn't because of a trophy. You as a parent, uncle, aunt, cousin etc.. let that poo happen. 

[Panthro]

hopefully this selfish, tech-addled generation of me-bots won't screw up the great, totally not war and poverty-stricken, egalitarian, environmentally sound collection of societies the much-better one-trophy generations have left us

Sometimes my pendulum swings towards a "get off my lawn" mentality....and fuging love it :)

[TheRumGone]

i'm close to 30 and had participation trophies growing up.

and ended up played college ball.

what in the hell is the problem here? To me ages 3-7 or 8 should be about learning the game and having FUN. If they like the game, have them keep playing in competitive leagues. it's not that hard to understand. Too many parents trying to live vicariously through their children. it's sickening.

[Mr. Scot]

I have no problem with participation trophies or ribbons. I have a strong dislike for the "everybody wins / nobody loses" garbage. That whole notion is just stupid.

You can't protect your kid from every negative experience. Nor should you.

[PhillyB]

as someone who's worked coaching/developing kids in athletics for years, i can tell you i've never seen kids above six years old get hyped up about a participation trophy. they're no substitute for winning. but they do reward younger kids who are often in massive groups of 20-30 and have a much smaller chance of getting something out of the experience, and it often excites and encourages them to keep at it.

but the participation trophy yammering almost invariably comes from fat forty-year-olds with crew cuts who couldn't win a game of cornhole, so i tend to ignore it

[teeray]

as someone who's worked coaching/developing kids in athletics for years, i can tell you i've never seen kids above six years old get hyped up about a participation trophy. they're no substitute for winning. but they do reward younger kids who are often in massive groups of 20-30 and have a much smaller chance of getting something out of the experience, and it often excites and encourages them to keep at it.

but the participation trophy yammering almost invariably comes from fat forty-year-olds with crew cuts who couldn't win a game of cornhole, so i tend to ignore it

Yeah, you touched on something there.  Participation trophies and such also encourages continued participation.  No one likes losing, but at the end if the day these should be positive experiences for children.  Making it hyper competitive will only encourage kids to quit playing.

These are kids after all, and let's be honest, there are three types of parents that have kids play youth sports.  

1- the parents that facilitate and encourage their kids to do this thing they like and just want them to have fun and learn (probably the vast majority of parents).

2- are forcing their kids to participate even if they don't really want to because it is a glorified babysitter service and they can have a couple hours on the weekend for some afternoon delight, run errands, or just relax for a couple of hours when their kids are at practice.

3- hyper competitive parents that expect their kids to also be hyper competitive and end up yelling at the coach or getting in fist fights with the youth legal official because "THIS POO IS SERIOUS BRO!!"  These parents also tend to be the ones that are so competitive they can't comprehend that their little Bobby actually sucks at soccer and that is why he doesn't play as much, and create unreasonable expectations for their child and just believes the rest of the world doesn't see their kid's greatness.

[Jase]

as a parent who already spends hundreds of dollars on soccer for my 3 year old and 4 year old, it's actually pretty nice to see the kids get something tangible like a medal or a small prize at the end of the time period.  Makes it feel slightly less like I'm throwing money down the toilet.

[SCP]

Tell them they are worthless and make them run sprints until they puke.

Pretty much my protocol in a nutshell.

[tiger7_88]

Do they give trophies for sitting inside and playing video games all day? I'm pretty sure that is all kids do these days.

 

I remember not keeping score in t-ball and being infuriated. Why in the world would you play the game if you don't keep score. That is the entire point of a game... otherwise its called practice and, like studying, practice is for people that are inferior.

 

 

My kid was in a couple of those kinds of leagues.

I'd always ask him after the game what the score was.  His tally always matched my own.

Once when he was in a "friendly" no-score soccer league at 6 years old, he was on the field when a player off the other team took a hard-kicked ball flush in the face.  That kid fell down crying and all the other players and goalies rushed to that kid to see if he was OK.

Except for my kid.  He went for the ball and scored the empty-netter.

Goddam, I was proud. ;)

[pepaw]

hopefully this selfish, tech-addled generation of me-bots won't screw up the great, totally not war and poverty-stricken, egalitarian, environmentally sound collection of societies the much-better one-trophy generations have left us

Thank you. 

[Mr. Scot]

Pretty much my protocol in a nutshell.So 

So this is you?