So this motherfuger broke in to my home...

[Ivan The Awesome]

...and I caught him in the act.

 

 

I work graveyard shift and I was getting home, I showered, got in my UNC shorts (shameless plug, go heels), got in my cozy bed and shut my eyes. 

 

Next thing I know I hear someone knocking on my door profusely. The next door neighbor came over and told me someone broke in through the backyard. 

 

What do I do? I grab my machete....yes, a fuging machete and run out to see this guy. My dog was with me. I creep behind him and I see he has some metal bumpers and a steel pipe. "You better drop everything you have right now or you can say good bye to that hand of yours."

 

He literally drops everything and turns around stunned, he has the audacity to ask if that stuff was mine...I just literally shake my head in amazement that this guy after getting caught would just ask such a thing. He was unarmed thankfully and the minute he reached for something I was ready to hack something off. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around ready to strike and I saw it was the neighbor. The thief didn't hesitate and booked. I told my dog to chase after him and he did, I followed two blocks down and lost him down the alley, my dog chased him further but lost him after he jumped a couple of fences. Cops came and surprise surprise, they didn't follow through. They just took down the description and said they'd be on the lookout for him. 

 

 

This ins't the first time this has happened, a couple of years ago another poor soul came in and tried to steal my battery charger and car battery, well my brother was here that day and so was I. We "held" the thief down until the cops showed up. Somehow the culprit had a black eye and a few broken ribs when he got to the station...

 

 

...I need you guys help. I live in Mexico...unfortunately I can't own a gun...I could get up to 9 years if I get caught with a firearm. So what I need from you is suggestions of non lethal weapons. I know a machete is very lethal but I would need something that could incapacitate without killing preferably since well, I would hate to go to Jail. The laws down here are very fuged up. They literally protect thieves more than anything because of the human side of it all. 

 

What can I get to defend myself that isn't a firearm? Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

 

..hell I may just go all Walking dead's Daryl on people and buy a crossbow. 

[PhillyB]

glad you're alright.

look into getting an asp. it's telescoping, won't really draw blood, but still lets you beat that ass.

is it easy for everyday citizens to go pick up an illegal gun on the black market?

[Panthro]

 

[Doyle]

2 minutes ago, Panthro said:

 

That's racist. 

[Panthro]

4 minutes ago, PhillyB said:

glad you're alright.

look into getting an asp. it's telescoping, won't really draw blood, but still lets you beat that ass.

is it easy for everyday citizens to go pick up an illegal gun on the black market?

This video gives it to me

 

 

 

[PhillyB]

guns don't kill people... ASPS DO

[Ivan The Awesome]

11 minutes ago, PhillyB said:

glad you're alright.

look into getting an asp. it's telescoping, won't really draw blood, but still lets you beat that ass.

is it easy for everyday citizens to go pick up an illegal gun on the black market?

 

 

I'm looking at several things. I'll definitely look up an ASP. 

 

Yeah, i could easily get a freaking AK 47 if I wanted but again, I don't want to go to prison...Owning a gun, just a pistol gets you 9 years. High powered assault rifles or any other high caliber gun gets you 25 to life...Killing someone is 30 years minimum to a life sentence. I may get one later for the Zombie apocalypse but for now I need something either close range or long range that can shoot. I am seriously thinking about a crossbow.

[frash.exe]

I think it's obvious what caused this to happen: you didn't BUILD A WALL. So...you just need to BUILD A WALL, and you won't ever have problems of any kind ever again.

[Datawire]

Glad you are ok.

Hate that you can't protect yourself with a firearm. If anyone has had their home broke into before will attest how invasive it feels. It's emotionally scarring for some people, violation, fear, anger, helplessness. You see things like this on the news all the time but think it could never happen to you. Your home is security and when that security becomes breached it is very unsettling.

And it's happened to you twice! Crossbow might not be a bad idea.

[cookinwithgas]

don't forget to get that thwarted thief to pay for it

[Jase]

Guys trying to come in the back door without being invited is a real problem down there, I hear.

[Hugor Hill]

 Get a fake head that looks like George Bush and stick it on a pole in your front yard. Make it bloody looking and gory as all get up. Put a sign below it that says "This is the previous guy who thought he could steal from me." Or you could get a head that looks like Danny Trejo, glue it on a tortoise and let it roam around your yard and paint "Hola Thief" on it somewhere.

[Ja Rhule]

 

 

[Bronn]

litter your yard with bear traps or punji stick pits... just make sure you don't let your dog out there...