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To Tampa Bay Fans

MHS831

By MHS831,
in Carolina Panthers

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MHS831 Grand Master

MHS831

Posted
Posted

Your team has won just a notch over 38% of their games (all-time).  In 44 years, you have won 6 post season games.  That is less than one post season victory every seven years. Your all time greatest QB is a finger eatin, crab leg stealin', woman rapin' 25 year old head case.  Your uniforms make you look like some Ronco Transformer alarm clocks even after you took the dagger-swallowing, swash-buckling pedophile off your ice cream truck looking helmets and replaced it with a color scheme that looks painfully unintentional. Your uniform design went from something an 90-year old grandmother crocheted watching Turner Classic Movies to the creation of some some 12-year old kid.  A child,  looking around his room for ideas on a Rainy Saturday while grounded from his Ipad, using the only 3 crayons that he has left because they have no purpose-- in his very unpopular  He-Man coloring book.  Disgusting.

Let me break it down for you in pictures to help you understand why we pity your city's pathetic attempt at an NFL franchise and why I think it is all a big front:

Your first helmet logo:  image.png.9284233ae8a3862445569cc630469571.pngimage.png.ec6fdac29af67b9eac7dd059a9ee94ed.png

Pretty sure that pedophile is winking at us.  Maybe that is why Moms and Dads stopped taking their kids to the game.  No parent wants to see 53 men in tight pants running around with winking kiddie predators on their heads in front of their children.  It just ain't right.  To be honest, I am surprised they didn't put Jared from Subway on the new helmet.   Instead, they let a child design their new helmet:

Your current helmet logo: image.png.4a9c6a3b5b7ee68a4f00caed44d4f29d.png

 

What the hell is going on down there, Tampa?  Would you stop trying to attract children to your fan lair with gimmicks such as creamsicle colors, plumed Captain Birdseye and his white, musical van, and now cartoon characters? Why is "Ray Jay" Stadium showing up on the sex-offender registry?  Did you lure little Peter Pan onto your Pirate ship?  "Ahoy, little Raymond, would you give me a hand?  All I have is this hook.  Bring little James with you.... Why, yes, yes this is a pirate ship, full of candy and booty."  You sick bastids.

(I am off work today, if you cannot tell)
 

 

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