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Carolina Panthers: Saint Francis' Nightmare


Gucci Mane

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The Panthers will travel all the way to the left coast to face a 6-2 49ers team coming off of their bye week. Panthers players are in for a delightful trip, even outside of their contractual duties to play the game of football. Arriving to the city, they will get to witness famous sights such as the bridge featured in the Full House intro, or the trolly cars that laugh in the face of mass-transit innovation. The culture and overall atmosphere to San Fransisco should take no time in making itself present. Its quite likely the players will step off the plane and be instantly greeted with a whiff of that crisp northern Californian air with little hints of silicon and medicinal marijuana before making their way to the bay area, where the 49ers currently call home.

 

This will be the Panthers final trip to Candlestick Park as the 49ers will relocate to Santa Clara, a feeble attempt to get as far away from Raiders fans as financially possible. The stadium has already housed many of the game's greats, and if you ask certain ESPN talking heads, is currently housing the greatest 49er team since the pre-injured Alex Smith-led 49ers of yesteryear. Candlestick Park doesn't have much wax left on the wick, and Riverboat Ron and company are coming in on fire, so i expect us to burn the stadium one last time and leave the citizens of San Fransisco disgusted that a Bicep-Kissing QB and an Alcoholic Felon ever donned Scarlett and Gold.

 

Panthers 34-24

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I applaud your attempt, but you made no mention of the absurd amounts of homeless people, the apparently horribly constructed misnomer of a bridge they're known for, full house, and that crappy 3rd Xmen movie.

 

Not to mention that Crack consumption in "The City" is as nonchalant and acceptable as saying hello to a neighbor here in the Carolina's.

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