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The Seahawks are now ON NOTICE!

Zod

By Zod,
in Carolina Panthers

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Zod Grand Master

Zod

Posted
Posted

LISTEN UP SEATTLE! YOU ARE NOW ON NOTICE!!

 

 

Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

 

I have come back to you now in your hour of greatest need. With me I have brought wisdom, experience, and an industrial sized jar of lube. Now line up boys, and hold on to your taints, its about to get real.

 

First off.... Seattle. The softest most ridiculously pussified city in the entire country. A city so politically correct and lame I bet the mayor pardons a tofu turkey on Thanksgiving to please PeTA! hahaha.... wait, what? That actually happened? The Fug?

 

turkey.jpg

 

Meanwhile, in Charlotte, some residents choose not to pardon their turkey the old fashioned way... like the freaking founding fathers did.

 

D-Will.jpg

 

 

 

This week's playoff match up is against the always overrated Seattle Seahawks.  Seattle is known for it's grunge music, strong coffee, and being home to the bandwagonest fans in the entire NFL. In 2011 the Seahawks had ZERO NFL player jersey sales in the top 50. In 2013, Russell Wilson was the #1 ranked jersey.

 

Holy poo, that is a whole lot of people needing a Seahawks jersey fast. Fuggin Pathetic. 

 

The Seahawks have all the team components that the public adores. The white haired coach, ready to dish out worldly advice. The cute little guy, with a wholesome attitude and dimples. The older brother, street wise with a little more of an edge. And who could forget the long haired Hollywood type, the prima donna always craving attention. 

 

Put it together, and it could be an 80's sitcom for christ sakes.

 

 

seahawks-strokes.jpg

 

 

 

 

The Panthers are coming, Seattle. And they are bringing hell with them.

 

What will you do when the man beast Norwell mauls the face of your vaunted defensive line?

 

What will you do when Jonathan Stewart carves up your linebackers?

 

What will you do when Mike Shula calls a bubble screen to Brenton Bersin on 3rd and 10?

 

 

I'll tell you what you will do. You will sit there in your hipster trousers and take it... balls deep.

 

And then, when Luke Kuechly grabs yet another interception, when Josh Norman completely shuts down one of those receivers you have on your roster sorry their names escape me, you will begin to cry real tears that will drip from your ironic mustache.

 

And finally, when the Panthers have the lead and completely shut their own offense down allowing the Seahawks back in the game ... you will know what Panthers football is all about.... and there's not a god damned thing you can do about it.

 

 

Panthers 13

SeaHawks - 10

 

 

 

 

 

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    • MasterAwesome
      shough vs tmac off rookie of the year

      By MasterAwesome · Posted

      Well even if we took diverging paths getting there...our overall assessment of Shough is the same (bolded) lol so I guess that's what matters.  What you call "playing at a level that looks like a veteran starter" is the same thing I'm referencing when I talk about his poise.  Although I still wonder how truly "bad" of a team the Saints are.  Their defense is middle-of-the-road, and their offense does have some good pieces (Olave, Juwan Johnson) outside of running back which is the position most everyone agrees is relatively plug-and-play.  I'm not going to pretend to know anything about the majority of NFL team's o-lines lol but I'm assuming Saints are not great there, although Shough's pressure % seems to have been quite low (and steadily improving) over the last four weeks (20 -> 16.7 -> 15.0 -> 13.0) so maybe they've been playing better as of late, or perhaps Shough himself deserves credit for that.   Some of the language I'm hearing about Shough, including talking about how he's way above league average in several categories, makes it sound like Shough is having a rookie season on par with like a CJ Stroud who established himself as basically a Top 5-10 QB his rookie season.  Maybe that's on me though, I don't mean to attribute anything to you that I'm sure you don't agree with.
    • cranky
      shough vs tmac off rookie of the year

      By cranky · Posted

      Since your being selective (and somewhat deceptive) with your comparisons, I'll throw this up so we can compare apples to apples. Both Young and Shough have played against the Rams. Young went: 15/20 (75%) for 191 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs with a 147.1 QB rating Shough went: 15/24 (62.5%) for 176 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT with a 81.2 QB rating   Both Young and Shough have played against the Buccs. Young went: 21/32 (65%) for 206 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs with a 102.5 QB rating Shough went: 13/20 (65%) for 176 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT with a 65.4 QB rating   Both Young and Shough have played against the Falcons. Young went: 31/45 (75%) for 448 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs with a 123.2 rating Shough went: 30/43 (69.7%) for 243 yards, 0TD, 1 INT with a 74 QB rating   Seriously, in what world is Shough a better QB.
    • DavidEng
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      By DavidEng · Posted

      Freddie? For this game? Seriously? I don’t get it. Hope we get the best version of Freddie tonight.
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