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I am the root cause of Panther fail

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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SCP Enthusiast

SCP

Posted
Posted

What started out as a running joke in my neighborhood has now become scientific fact. Check out my jersey purchases over the years and look at the end result of the correlating player a year or so after my purchase. I will just go back to 2005 to illustrate.

- Practice worn Chris Jenkins jersey - Gets all fat and hurt and goes to Jets

- Practice worn Justin Hartwig jersey - Sucks at playing center in the NFL and goes to Steelers

- Authentic Julius Peppers - Bolts town shortly after I buy jersey

- Authentic Jake Delhomme - Cardinal skank fest and $12 million lottery winner

- Authentic Beason - Blows out achillies and now has potential season ending injury

- Authentic Otah - Fat, hurt, out of league

Maybe it's time I act my age and grow up and just buy non-player specific golf shirts and t-shirts so I don't continue sending our team on a death spiral to oblivion.

Marty Hurney is the scape goat for a fat, 37 year old traveling sales guy who drinks biscuit gravy like it's a fruit smoothie.

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